Donâ€™t get me wrong: I love art. But I donâ€™t want to seek out art somedays. Currently itâ€™s rainy and drab and nasty outside.
I prefer to become art.
Now this isnâ€™t some pseudo (or real) hipster montage of postmodern thought about how all of us are performing our identities and subjectivity at all times, even though we are (ba-zing!), but rather â€œbecoming-artâ€ is a lifestyle choice that Iâ€™m very conscious about. Iâ€™m very aware about how my body can be positioned as, wear, or become art itself.
For example, at no time do I walk around without performing. I am either:
1) Singing/â€Rappingâ€/Humming/Whistling to music. Which isnâ€™t, hopefully, me as a white man taking up more space than I need to, but me as a bored white queer man who is sick of listening to the buzz and hum of cars and cookie cutter robot-peers. Iâ€™d rather be listening to Azealia Banks. Music and sound and noise is beautiful and, especially, when Iâ€™m mid-travel I need a little extra inspiration to get where Iâ€™m heading (and to forget about the looming drones).
2) Wearing ridiculous clothing. I am a huge fan of monochromatic aesthetics and gray as a way of being; however, there comes a point when the seasons shift, or die, and the sun seems to fade away into a palate of only white/gray/black. THIS MAKES ME SAD. So I cope by wearing neon prints with other stripes with other fabrics with leather with hats and scarves and giant earrings, and rainbow umbrellas. Becoming the overwhelming stimulus I try to avoid or cling to is comforting. When I know that it is myself that is obnoxious–I can handle that. The trees no longer lay claim to being that beautiful shade of emerald, the sky canâ€™t brag that its really that sky-blue, fire canâ€™t embody all that is red, but I can: all in one outfit.
3) Reciting quotes from my favorite books. At no point are there not lines from books circulating in the vast cavernous hole that is my mind. Because I read for the majority of the time that Iâ€™m awake, I find it nice to recite lines and share literature with the world! From Toni Morrison to Jesus to James Joyce to bell hooks to Vladimir Nabokov to you name it (or rather Iâ€™m a snob so Iâ€™ll stick to the people that I know). People always get confused when I tell them that I study English and Philosophy, so itâ€™s nice when I can actually share how cool these areas are. How beautiful they are. How â€œAHHHHHâ€ they are.
Now Iâ€™m not trying to say that everyone needs to be art all the time but I find itâ€™s the way I cope best with being in Ann Arbor. It gets boring looking at the same white, hetero, temporarily able-bodied men in their polos, boat shoes, and pastel shorts–so I say, â€œliven it up!â€
While it can be overwhelming being the art for the designated spaces Iâ€™m in, it is more comfortable to seek solace in groups.
Have nail painting parties–there is nothing more I enjoy than having sparkly middle fingers.
Have team shopping events or days where you swap clothing with your friends.
Have days where you and others can annoyingly match in terrifying ways.
Although Iâ€™m a broken record and constantly talking about how Iâ€™m art itself (. . .) I find it important to reemphasize that Iâ€™m glaringly semi-offensive to everyoneâ€™s eyes. The sensory overload that is myself is so important to who I am these days. I actively want to be a bit too much because being just enough is so banal.
As I come into senior year I realize more and more about how much I donâ€™t care about most things in my day to day life. I care when and where and how I need and want to care. But other than that . . . Iâ€™m a canvas full of life ready to explode.