“I am milk, I am red hot kitchen.”
The Scribble for this week is inspired by the song Milk by the band Garbage. Shirley Manson, frontwoman of the band, has said that Milk is about “things you can’t have and you will forever wait for.” This past week, I’ve reflected on my own fears of being and remaining “incomplete”, and I have come to some important realizations.
“And I am cool, cool as the deep blue ocean.”
In my story, the protagonist is thriving. They have a job they are passionate about, a group of trusted friends, and the feeling of being able to be unabashedly themself. They have achieved their definition of success for the moment, and, though nothing is perfect, they have come further than they ever expected and are thriving. They look around with gratitude and, at last, have time to stop and relax.
“I am lost so I am cruel.”
They have the time to read books, watch movies and TV, and scroll through social media. Everything keeps screaming to them that something is missing. The doubt creeps in at night, when there are no further distractions: Will they ever be truly complete without “true love”? They see the necessity of “true love” all the time – they have since they were a kid. When the beloved characters from those beloved stories finally won, that usually included some type of prince or princess. Our protagonist feels like they won, but there is no prince or princess, so there is no way they can be fully complete. It was not a factor for their happiness at the start of their story, but maybe it should be now. All of a sudden, the protagonist fears that their story will never be complete.
“But I’d be love and sweetness if I had you.”
I’ve had a mentality shift recently. The stories I grew up on filled my brain with misinformation surrounding “true love” that negatively impacts me to this day. Maybe my life would be incomplete without “true love,” but luckily I do not go without it.
Thankfully, “true love” is not something I will forever wait for. “True love” is the gratitude I felt when I passed a still-blooming purple and yellow flowered bush even though it is October. “True love” is all of the late night vulnerable conversations I have with my best friends that leave us laughing or in tears. “True love” is losing track of time and space when I draw, write, or play guitar. “True love” is the random phone call from Mom because she just wanted to hear my voice.
“I’m waiting, I’m waiting for you.”
“True love” is thousands of things I have experienced and even more that I’ve yet to experience, and I cannot wait for each and every one of them. My story is far from over, but it is by no means incomplete.
Listen to Milk here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=amrvLJRA3dc