The Rise of the Band Geeks, Episode 20: The March March

With winter acting like spring for some reason, it’s only natural for our local band geeks to gain enough motivation to start practicing outside.  However, the dangers of the real world do not end where March begins.  Several band geeks have compiled a comprehensive guide to avoiding the threats to musical instruments in the form of a Q & A session:

Q:  I’m from a part of the country where pollen falls in droves for some ungodly reason.  Will pollen damage my instrument?

A:  I’m not really sure about that in terms of practicing, but if you’re allergic to said pollen, definitely don’t practice outside in early spring.  Or mid-spring.  Or summer.  Because summer gets hot, and then you’re sweating and sunburned and don’t even want to do the C major scale to warm up.  Of course, if you leave your instrument outside overnight, then yes, that’s bad.

 

Q:  What happens if a diag squirrel approaches me while I’m practicing?

A:  If you’re on the diag, it’s fine.  The squirrels are in their natural habitat.  If you’re on Elbel Field or inside Pierpont when you encounter said squirrel, run.  It’s possessed.

 

Q:  What happened to all the snow?

A:  Oh, it’ll be back.  Da-da-da-da-daaah da-da-da da-yaaaah da dah.

 

Q:  OK, but what if it starts snowing during practice like it did the week leading up to The Game and most of The Game?

A:  This is Michigan.  It always snows.  If the snow isn’t blowing sideways and you’re feeling antsy, practice outside if your instrument allows.  Nobody will think it’s weird if you start doing Big 10 Entries in the middle of February because they’re too cold.  But it’s March, isn’t it?  It could still snow.  I think.  IDK, I’m not a Northerner.  I’m from Arizona, Hal.

 

Q:  How do we know we’re improving if we’re practicing outside by ourselves?

A:  Focus on your technique, embouchure, sound quality, etc.  Do 69 reps of something you struggle on until you get it right–actually, I’ve seen an online band poster that says to practice until you can’t get it wrong, so do that.  Anyway, did you know today (March 10th) is the 69th day of the year?

 

Q:  Shuddap, Hal!!!

A:  That’s not a question.

Alias

Alias came to Earth from a distant planet roughly 80 years ago and has been inhabiting the United States ever since. Captured by authorities in 1959, Alias was entombed in Area 51 until escaping in 2019 and has been at large ever since. Nowadays, Alias seeks to integrate into human life and earn an English degree. Recent sightings indicate Alias is a member of the Michigan Marching Band.

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