Love and Relationships

Love is an interesting matter.

Love, a simple, four-lettered word.

Yet, it has been the reason why wars have been fought between people, sometimes even leaving them forever wounded.

Love, when we have it, can heal past wounds, and make us feel amazing.

Yet, for those seeking it, it is torture. It is something several people yearn for, yet sometimes cannot obtain, or is obtained through immense struggle.

Love is powerful. Love is dangerous. Love is reckless.

Here is a true love story; one inspired by someone close to me.

A girl fell in love with a boy. They stayed together for six months. He changed. He fell out of love. He was determined to break up with her. She cried. She begged for a second chance, wishing she could change her “flaws.” He was stubborn at first, but then eventually gave in. She had him agree that they would take a break: hit the pause button for the summer.

One month passed. The girl missed the boy more than ever. She reached out to him, yearning his warmth. She sent a letter, apologizing hundreds of times for her “flaws,” hoping he would understand, and agree with a now-clear mind. He responded awhile later, cold as winter. She cried. Another month passed. The girl still awaited for his letter, wishing he would initiate some warmth. The letter never came. Then the third month passed. The girl grew sad, and also angry. She questioned her flaws, asking why they were called flaws. The girl then became a woman, as she finally understood that man was not for her. She now understood those “flaws” were what made her herself, and she was no longer ashamed of herself. Instead, she learned that they were her wings; wings that would enable her to find a real lover.

Her heart once broken, the girl, now a woman, carefully spread her wings and flew lowly, watching the horizon. So many men, yet none of them with the wings she desired. Time passed. She once looked back, wondering if maybe she should just try to get back with the man before… but then turned away from the idea, wincing at the pains he’d caused her.

The woman carefully cradled her wings, now knowing their newfound value, and set out to search for the One.

One day, she found him. and he found her. They met up. The woman found herself glowing in warmth she’d never felt before, and for once in a long time, she was happy. The man smiled at her, laughed with her, he embraced her wings with his. She felt safe with him. She felt sure of him. She no longer had thoughts of the shame her wings had once given her. She knew she had found love this time; a shared love.

Seven months later, the woman dropped her journal. And as she bent to retrieve it, she saw a glimpse of a book that she’d made a long time ago. She realized that she’d forgotten the book she’d meant to give the boy. She picked it up, and brushed the dust off the binding. She untied the ribbon and began to read the book, curious to see what she’d written before.

She read the book, from the first word, to the last period. She did not cry. Rather, she embraced it, her past. She knew it had given her strength, and had lead her to find true love.

summertime madness

Summer is coming, and I swear I’m not ready for it.

It feels like it was just yesterday when I just got back to Ann Arbor from the summer. The two semesters have flown by so quickly!

A small confession: I may have taken several difficult courses this year, but with so many personal things going on alongside my academics, I feel like I’ve been so overwhelmed with everything that I haven’t quite learned anything academically, though I’d definitely say that I’ve learned other “lessons in life.”

Kudos to the people who have their whole summer and life planned out. My friend is traveling the world basically. Another one is super talented, and though she’s complaining that she hasn’t beard back from anywhere, I doubt she won’t land herself an internship this summer. Another is interning with freaking Amazon, and going to explore Asia with his family! … And then there’s me… totally clueless and lost.

I’ve applied to internships, but nobody has really gotten back to me on that. Not even a “no.”

I’ve applied to jobs, but apparently it’s very competitive…

I will probably just stay home.

What about you? Comment your summer plans!

Money

Money. This thin green paper with some famous person’s face and a number printed onto it. Smaller than a letter-sized sheet of print paper, yet people say it is valuable enough to purchase happiness.
Money is a funny thing. It comes and goes. It goes more easily than it comes. Especially when it comes to college. Need money? Simple, right? Get a job! Yeah… not quite so easy. I was a research assistant for a lab last year, and it was great, I earned a considerable amount of money. This year, I stuck with the lab, but more assistants were hired and now we fight for shifts; money came less easily from that one job. So I looked for another; I applied to many. Heard from none.

Am I really that awful a candidate? So awful that people won’t even respond to my email even to say “no” to me when I ask for an internship?

It makes me realize how much power money has over me, and many other people in the world. Money drives so many of people’s decisions.

It’s the holidays. Need gifts? Spend some money. Don’t got money? Go get some! Yeah… some people are stuck with robbing or thieving.

So, you’re a college student and you finally made some time for fun! Oh right, it’s Ann Arbor, what is fun here? Eating? Drinking? The arcade? How about the mall? Hmmm my wallet’s empty, so are my friends.

You’re moving out of town soon to go home for summer break. Awesome right? Well jeez, I’ve accumulated so much stuff, now I need to get rid of it… But how? Donate it? Hmm I need some money still… Maybe I’ll sell it! ‘$5 New without tag shirt from Macy’s’: customer reaction: ‘Can I get this for $3?’ It’s just a two dollar difference! One discount that I really don’t want to make, but I know I should or else I won’t get any money back for the things I’m selling, and I feel petty for not reducing! But then, shouldn’t the customer also know I’m super broke and need at least some value back for the things I’m selling, as I am already selling at a super low cost? It’s crazy, a dollar, or even two, makes such a large difference in determining how much stuff I can sell.

Money. So small, yet so powerful. It can make me happy, it can make me sad. Is money an antagonist to my story?

 

Dreams… are they really just imagination?

I don’t know about you, but during the very few times I’ve dreamed, I have very vivid memories of my dreams. They are so vivid that I cannot distinguish reality from dream, and sometimes I jerk awake and realize it was all a dream, but have the memory of what had happened in the dream. Other times, my dreams jerk me awake, but then I lie there in my bed awake, panicking, believing it had actually happened and I was thinking about what to do next… but often in the process of doing so, I realize the days or times did not match up, therefore the events I was worrying about were nothing but a dream.

Dreams have always fascinated me. The word itself elicits a positive connotation, for its synonyms like goal, or fantasy. However, looking closely at these two different synonyms, it appears that the word “dreams” can still be taken in different ways. For instance, “goal” is something we look to obtain; it’s a stage that we want ourselves to be in, and implies improvement at something that interests us. Fantasy is a similar idea, only that it has more of the connotation that something cannot be obtained… it is something that we constantly yearn and seek to obtain, but in reality, it does not exist. “Dream” seems to be the middle of these two different definitions of its synonyms… perhaps all three could be classified as three different categories of dreams? Scientists have also had a similar fascination with dreams, and they even ask if there is such a thing as a “dreamworld,” as in, suggesting that perhaps dreams were a separate reality in a different realm. Or, they have also considered that perhaps dreams were the only current way that humans could visit the fourth dimension. But, the most popular consensus has it that dreams are simply some sort of bizarre result of our human sleep mechanisms and that certain foods or experiences before our bedtime effect what (or if we have any) dreams.

What is your take on dreams? Comment your answer!!

Secret Life of Pups

My boyfriend’s dog is amazing. Ok, to be fair, she is not really a puppy, but rather, she is the size of a puppy. She is actually just 4 years old (I like to joke that she’s an old lady dog), a ginger schoodle! I’ve often wondered about the life of dogs. It’s always so sad for them to, each and every single morning, wake up early to do nothing, then wait for their owners to feed them at every meal, then spend the whole day alone without much to do, and then scream in excitement when someone finally comes back after the twelve hours of being alone. This puppy, aside from coping with mild form of depression from her busy human owners is very intelligent. She knows tons of tricks, she has the ability to get jealous (quite often actually), and she knows what she isn’t or is allowed to do, and is quite mischievous when humans aren’t around to monitor her activity.

All in all, what was the point of this post? Just to appreciate my boyfriend’s pupper 🙂

Shopping on Campus

It literally just blows my mind how much money we spend as students here in college!!
For those of us who live off campus, we have to account for monthly rent, groceries, and commuting to class!! Or, if we have a pet, we need to coordinate our time to them too!
Or even with those of us who do live in one of the dorms, we still spend on snacks, occasionally/always going out to eat when the dining halls don’t suit our tastes, and even clothes!!
Speaking of clothes, I am going to do a shameless plug for the Facebook page I just made!! Its name is “Wolverine Women’s Free and For Sale.” Long story short, I had difficulties with another similar Facebook Page to this, so I created my own!! Unfortunately it is only for ladies, so guys, if you’re interested in a similar page you can create one yourself and invite people to join you!! 🙂
So, I started off college not knowing this page was a thing. I discovered this page around sophomore year. It is called “Ladies of UofM Buy, Sell, and Trade.” What I loved about this page was that it welcomed everyone to sell things, and the things that people posted were usually lightly worn, as in they’re still in good enough condition to be re-worn and purchased by someone else. However, what I did not like was the atmosphere of the page- or at least the atmosphere that the admins created.
In the beginning of my time on this group/page, I loved it! I was able to get the things I wanted for free or for a way cheaper price than at the mall. However, as time progressed, sometimes I had to cancel transactions because I needed to save money for my architecture class supplies,or it was just too inconvenient to keep attempting to meet with the seller(s). The page rules, which is highly patrolled by the unforgiving admin, said “no flaking.” To me, and several other women I have talked to, “flaking” means to cancel a transaction without notifying the seller, or simply not showing up to purchase. My situation is technically not flaking because each time, I very politely told the seller whether or not I was available to purchase! Unfortunately, the admin did not understand my point and banned me from the page, deeming to never un-ban the banned members.
However, I still had stuff to sell, since I was broke and in need of money in college! So, I decided to create a new, better version of that page. In this page, I wanted to punish only the rude and actually flakey people, while preserving a safe, relaxed selling/buying environment that wasn’t so choosy on what you can and cannot post about!
So, this page, unlike the other page, allows for students to post about housing offers, ticket offers, events, and pretty much anything school-appropriate!
I aim for this page to become more popular than the other page because it is much more flexible in the posts’ contents, nobody has to feel bad for trying to save money by cancelling transactions, and whoever was also removed from that page in the past can now re-join this community!
Sorry if this post was more of a rant, but for anyone who is about to join the Ladies of UofM BST page, you can choose to still join that group with caution! I just wanted to share my terrible experience, which I hope nobody ever encounters, and promote my new page!

The link to this page is here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1635983953155156/

NOTE: You must be in the Michigan Facebook group, in order to find and request to join!!

Happy shopping and thanks for reading all of this! 🙂