As a band geek desperate for fall to arrive again, I have compiled a 1000000000% foolproof way to ensure your winter semester will not be so depressing now that there is no marching band. Just follow these easy steps, and you will be cured of your malaise!
Ten Things to Do During the Off-Season
- Go to Class. There’s not really much else to do, and tuition isn’t exactly cheap, so this is definitely a good place to start.
- Build a Trebuchet. Are you good at engineering? Do you have an esoteric interest in medieval siege weapons that can yeet heavy objects such as cheese and cows up to 300 feet away? Well, have I got an activity for you! Using nothing but sticks and compostable utensils from the dining hall, you can bide your time by building a trebuchet that will collapse if there’s so much as a soft breeze!
- Go Ice Skating. Ice required.
- Practice Your Instrument. What? Practicing? In the off-season? It’s more common than you think.
- Play With Your Stuffed Octopus. Even evil plush octopi need friends to cuddle! Become a companion to your stuffed octopus overlord today, and you will be spared when The Army takes control of campus!
- Develop Your Social Life. You’re a band geek. You don’t have a social life outside of band. Proceed to 7.
- Learn How to Play the Kahoot Theme. If you’re in a dorm and want to use a music practice room, play the Kahoot theme on the side while you’re having an intellectual conversation with your family. That way, you’re not abusing the practice room! Sheet music not included.
- Cry. You want to be in marching band forever. You don’t want to adult. The real world is scary. The real world doesn’t have marching band.
- Repeat Step 8.
- Listen to Traditionals on Repeat Until Band Camp. The Victors, Let’s Go Blue, skip over Varsity, T Dubs…ah, yes, now loop T Dubs ad infinitum! Problem solved! (You might also want to practice traditionals so you can make pregame next season.)
Author’s Note: If you do not complete all these activities while wearing the Holy Band Beanie, a diag squirrel will chase you down and steal your tater tots.