The Poetry Snapshot: Touch of Rain

It grazes,
Slowly.
Then slower,
never losing touch of my skin.

When I was younger,
I welcomed the rain like a game.
I would search for each drop in grey skies
and made amends as I watched them fall,
as if I was looking out for an old friend.

Curtain Call on State Street

Like curtain call,
they return for every milestone,
to remind me when I have grown.

Rain falls to celebrate.
And just like fate,
it fell three times over.

First, when I met an angel.
In the storms of loss,
It poured.
Even when I was across oceans and away from home.
To comfort emotions I’ve never felt before.
Embraced and enveloped,
precipitation became a safe haven,
And I didn’t realize the touch of rain could heal.

And then, as I slowly fell in love.
Love, it makes you forget the rain.
But it keeps falling with me.
Nature cries to calm the embers
of a girl struggling
to let her guard down.
It creates a glow that ignites
an unexpected bliss.
I didn’t realize the touch of rain
would feel like a kiss.

And finally, when I learned who I was.
A lone walk past empty seats,
Brought me to this evening.
To a 90 minute soundtrack with greater meaning.
It was a calm before the thunder.
I surrendered to my wonder
And I diverged on my own.
I didn’t realize the touch of rain could be powerful alone.
So from now I will walk in the rain like it’s my throne.

Evolving Emotions: Goodbye

So quickly it began

With nervous laughter

Sweaty palms

Hearts racing wildly

The unknown ahead

 

So slowly it passed

Difficult days

Difficult nights

Tears and sweat and pain

Awaiting the day

 

Of the end

The last day of the start

Of more difficult days

Difficult nights ahead

But some good ones too

 

Much bitter sweetness lingers

In every goodbye

With a wave

Say goodbye to

All of the lessons learned

People met

 

And things yet to become

 

We must cherish all endings

However bitter

Or deliciously sweet

For they are final, of course

And now,

Onto something new

 

Evolving Emotions: Moderation

*Trigger Warning*

This poem contains eating disorder subject matter.

 

In the realm of hypocrisy

Everything in moderation

The chant that leads to an obsession

An obsession that cannot be moderated

Counting the calories

Saying no

Saying yes becomes a rarity

And even then

Wishing you hadn’t

That number on the scale

Satisfying but wanting

Wanting perfection

That moderation of flesh

Of fat

Of life

Wanting the shock

The surprise

The congratulatory remarks

They didn’t know the damage done

Seasons pass

A new obsession

One of eating feelings

Crying frustration

Counting calories

Unable to stop the pain

You stuff it down your throat

Only for it to come back up

A mess of “moderation”

Of obsession beyond balance

Beyond sense

Polar sides

Neither just right

Always looking

Striving

For the approval

For the stability

Of those words

Everything in moderation”

 

You see me

Painted like a desert 

Wrapping on the edges 

Yelling to you

As you turn away

You got tired of hearing me

You used to reach inside

And hold me

And now you don’t even watch

You listen to my ramblings with slight acknowledgments

And when the slightest words catch your attention 

You turn away

Evolving Emotions: Spring

Crunch and fragility

Dull brown and lifeless

A flower

Killed by cold

A horrendous annual crime

 

But upon a newfound strength

By the Earth’s nurturing scape

A blooming begins

 

Inaction and then

Elation at a new

Motion in the ground

Abolition of the lifelessness of yesterday

Captivation of colors. The

Transformation beneath. A

Foundation of weaving threads. An

Interconnection of the greatest

Creation brought along by the spring

Resurrection

 

 

Evolving Emotions: Tarot Reading

The cards that hold

Knowledge I already knew

But couldn’t access

 

The hands that have seen

Roughness

Niceties

And warm gestures

 

Grazing the cards

Selecting aimlessly

 

A past

Repressed

And bottled

 

A present

Confused

And hopeful

 

A future

Essential

But fearsome

 

Forming a row of formidable cards

They speak and expose

 

A heartbreak two folds

Too strong

Complications of roads

Too intimidating to choose from

 

Decisions neglected

Thoughts finely pressed

And set aside for a different morning

 

Desires to be realized

Dreams to dazzle

And worlds of people to meet

 

Such an accurate picture

Painted by the person

Sitting before me

 

Divulging my concerns

Encouraging my pursuits

 

I heard what I yearned for

Absorbing the words

From across a rickety table

 

UMMA: Queer Night