{"id":16099,"date":"2021-03-08T18:19:23","date_gmt":"2021-03-08T23:19:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/artsatmichigan.umich.edu\/ink\/?p=16099"},"modified":"2021-04-05T22:59:58","modified_gmt":"2021-04-06T02:59:58","slug":"the-rose-vine-ophelia","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/artsatmichigan.umich.edu\/ink\/2021\/03\/08\/the-rose-vine-ophelia\/","title":{"rendered":"the rose vine – “Ophelia”"},"content":{"rendered":"

“Ophelia”<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

femininity the existence<\/span><\/p>\n

or femininity the institution<\/span><\/p>\n

which do I oppose?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

existing in my natural state<\/span><\/p>\n

is to be subpar.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0unladylike.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0masculine.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

no wonder I would want to be rid of the whole,<\/span><\/p>\n

but the latter question remains.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0I don\u2019t have an answer.<\/span><\/p>\n

I love my body but intrinsically don\u2019t<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0as all girls are trained<\/span><\/p>\n

to love their bodies when men do<\/span><\/p>\n

and men love what they love.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0the bitter taste on my tongue\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

but what makes a woman a woman?<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0and what could make me not?<\/span><\/p>\n

setting women up for a lifetime of use\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0and discard.<\/span><\/p>\n

to place their value on desire<\/span><\/p>\n

the red of her lip, the curve in her hip<\/span><\/p>\n

the way the volume of her chest attracts more<\/span><\/p>\n

that the words of a woman ever could.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

and I want to answer there is something more.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0an essence of an essence,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0quintessential othering<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cbe true to yourself\u201d mantra\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0I followed from birth.<\/span><\/p>\n

I want to say I knew I was different from the other girls<\/span><\/p>\n

when I was five and liked science\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0but girls like science.<\/span><\/p>\n

or when I was fourteen and hated my chest\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0but truthfully?<\/span><\/p>\n

for a while I thought it was all I was worth.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

and sometimes I fear all my love is narcissistic.<\/span><\/p>\n

that my love of men is love\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0of who I wish I was\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

and my love of women is fetishized envy<\/span><\/p>\n

love of those who effortlessly embody what I struggle<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0to perform.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0but not entirely.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

there are moments in the dead of night<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0and the break of dawn<\/span><\/p>\n

when someone is being unequivocally<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0themselves.<\/span><\/p>\n

that is what I love the most<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0the one thing I know\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I can never be.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

“Ophelia” femininity the existence or femininity the institution which do I oppose?\u00a0 existing in my natural state is to be subpar. \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0unladylike. \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0masculine.   no wonder I would want to be rid of the whole, but the latter question remains. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2241,"featured_media":15511,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[1658,1657,281,15,1656],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/artsatmichigan.umich.edu\/ink\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16099"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/artsatmichigan.umich.edu\/ink\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/artsatmichigan.umich.edu\/ink\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/artsatmichigan.umich.edu\/ink\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2241"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/artsatmichigan.umich.edu\/ink\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=16099"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/artsatmichigan.umich.edu\/ink\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16099\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":16716,"href":"https:\/\/artsatmichigan.umich.edu\/ink\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16099\/revisions\/16716"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/artsatmichigan.umich.edu\/ink\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/15511"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/artsatmichigan.umich.edu\/ink\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=16099"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/artsatmichigan.umich.edu\/ink\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=16099"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/artsatmichigan.umich.edu\/ink\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=16099"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}