{"id":18288,"date":"2021-12-09T10:00:20","date_gmt":"2021-12-09T15:00:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/artsatmichigan.umich.edu\/ink\/?p=18288"},"modified":"2021-12-09T21:26:20","modified_gmt":"2021-12-10T02:26:20","slug":"the-rise-of-the-band-geeks-episode-9-the-cymbal-reserves-according-to-hal","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/artsatmichigan.umich.edu\/ink\/2021\/12\/09\/the-rise-of-the-band-geeks-episode-9-the-cymbal-reserves-according-to-hal\/","title":{"rendered":"The Rise of the Band Geeks, Episode 9: The Cymbal Reserves According to Hal"},"content":{"rendered":"

As university students are swallowed up by impending finals and writer’s block, one marching band freshman wastes his time by compiling exhaustive profiles of all seven cymbal reserves…*<\/em><\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Hugh Beckham Aport (freshman).\u00a0\u00a0<\/strong>The first Hugh on the cymbal line when everyone’s last name is an alphabetical order, though he goes by his middle name, Beckham.\u00a0 Undeclared, but says he wants to study either chemical or mechanical engineering depending on how much the pre-rec courses destroy his will to live.\u00a0 Claims to love chameleons, but he mixed up a picture of a chameleon with that of an iguana, so we have our doubts.<\/li>\n
  2. Marcin Budzinski (sophomore).\u00a0\u00a0<\/strong>Computer Science (CS) major.\u00a0 Lives in Detroit and speaks fluent Polish.\u00a0 Only joined band this year after not opting to do it online last year because “My computer is where I code and play games, not cymbals.”\u00a0 Bit of a snarky boi who doesn’t like chicken nuggets.<\/li>\n
  3. Amos Frankiewicz (freshman).\u00a0\u00a0<\/strong>Prospective CS major.\u00a0 Currently getting a C in EECS 183 (which he always complains about).\u00a0 That’s about it.<\/li>\n
  4. Franklin Franklin (freshman).\u00a0\u00a0<\/strong>Not really sure what this dude wants to study, but I do know he’s obsessed with these stuffed octopi that can be reversed between a happy and a sad\/angry face.\u00a0 He currently has upwards of 10 of them and frequently brings them to practice during the regular season.\u00a0 For some reason, he talks about himself in the third person with a dramatic voice.\u00a0 Rumor has it his middle name is also Franklin.<\/li>\n
  5. Hugh Addison “Hal” Lubanski (freshman).\u00a0 <\/strong>Prospective CS major (again).\u00a0\u00a0Is without a doubt, the coolest, most impassioned, and most dedicated football fan in the cymbal section and possibly the MMB, the only exception being the Fearless Leader of the band.\u00a0 Proponent of the most requested dining hall tater tots.<\/li>\n
  6. Millicent Polaco (sophomore).\u00a0\u00a0<\/strong>Another CS major.\u00a0 Likes to dye her hair and listen to depressing punk music (but not Mr. Brightside).\u00a0 Usually irritated by the awesomeness of people in the section like Hal.\u00a0 Hates stuffed octopi for some ungodly reason.\u00a0 Probably practices witchcraft in her spare time.<\/li>\n
  7. Maren Thomas (freshman).\u00a0\u00a0<\/strong>Undeclared freshman in College of Engineering.\u00a0 Hopes to study aerospace.\u00a0 Is one of those people who likes physics and does calculus for fun.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    The author of this compendium did not do anything stupid in compiling this list.**<\/em><\/p>\n

     <\/p>\n

    *This is 100,000% fictional.<\/p>\n

    **Not entirely true.\u00a0 He wrote this list when he should have been studying.***<\/p>\n

    ***As did I.<\/p>\n

    Happy studying!\u00a0 May you get As on all your final exams and projects!<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    As university students are swallowed up by impending finals and writer’s block, one marching band freshman wastes his time by compiling exhaustive profiles of all seven cymbal reserves…* Hugh Beckham Aport (freshman).\u00a0\u00a0The first Hugh on the cymbal line when everyone’s last name is an alphabetical order, though he goes by his middle name, Beckham.\u00a0 Undeclared, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2243,"featured_media":17619,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[1221,1783,519,1752,1072,420],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/artsatmichigan.umich.edu\/ink\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18288"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/artsatmichigan.umich.edu\/ink\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/artsatmichigan.umich.edu\/ink\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/artsatmichigan.umich.edu\/ink\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2243"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/artsatmichigan.umich.edu\/ink\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=18288"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/artsatmichigan.umich.edu\/ink\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18288\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":18346,"href":"https:\/\/artsatmichigan.umich.edu\/ink\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18288\/revisions\/18346"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/artsatmichigan.umich.edu\/ink\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/17619"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/artsatmichigan.umich.edu\/ink\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=18288"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/artsatmichigan.umich.edu\/ink\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=18288"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/artsatmichigan.umich.edu\/ink\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=18288"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}