Alias<\/p>\n
Professor Ross Eforp<\/p>\n
English 269.001<\/p>\n
4\/14\/2022<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
We are not a cult.<\/strong><\/p>\n This, I can promise with absolute certainty.\u00a0 They say in statistics that you cannot be certain and everything is subjective, but this is not statistics; this is a blog.\u00a0 So I can confirm based on my own experience that marching band is not, and never will be, a cult.<\/p>\n What?\u00a0 You think calling the band director “Fearless Leader” has a cult-y vibe to it?\u00a0 That is just a coincidence!\u00a0 These things happen in life–it’s just probability!\u00a0 See, we respect the Fearless Leader, and the Fearless Leader leads us fearlessly from atop a ladder that has no back rail.\u00a0 It takes guts to climb that thing, so it is only fair to admire the Fearless Leader’s dauntlessness with this impeccable adjective.<\/p>\n I’m serious!\u00a0 We are not a cult!\u00a0 We do not all wear the same thing and secretly identify each other as though through some secret code.\u00a0 It’s not like we all got comfy beanies or show shirts or anything!\u00a0 No, we just…got those from the M Den!\u00a0 Yeah!\u00a0 No, we don’t get cool swag or anything…our status as student athletes is (wrongfully) disputed.\u00a0 So how could we possibly be detecting other band kids by their beanies, bags, or t-shirts?<\/p>\n Besides, cults don’t have their own theme songs.\u00a0 We sure do!\u00a0 Because…we’re a band…so–uh, yeah.\u00a0 Songs are what we do.\u00a0 But do cults follow around stuffed octopi and say “Uprising?” to one another?\u00a0 No!\u00a0 Then again, I’m not in a cult, so I don’t know what a cult is like–heh…heh…..heh……………<\/p>\n In conclusion, marching band is definitely not a cult, and this is definitely an essay that would have earned me a 5 on the AP Lang exam.\u00a0 Indeed, this is a bastion of academia, a beacon of integrity!\u00a0 Everything said in this can be confirmed by reputable sources such as Wikipedia and Twitter.\u00a0 It’s legit!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Alias Professor Ross Eforp English 269.001 4\/14\/2022 We are not a cult. This, I can promise with absolute certainty.\u00a0 They say in statistics that you cannot be certain and everything is subjective, but this is not statistics; this is a blog.\u00a0 So I can confirm based on my own experience that marching band […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2243,"featured_media":17619,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[1260,1818,1794,1819,1752,1072,1812],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/artsatmichigan.umich.edu\/ink\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19979"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/artsatmichigan.umich.edu\/ink\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/artsatmichigan.umich.edu\/ink\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/artsatmichigan.umich.edu\/ink\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2243"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/artsatmichigan.umich.edu\/ink\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=19979"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/artsatmichigan.umich.edu\/ink\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19979\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":19980,"href":"https:\/\/artsatmichigan.umich.edu\/ink\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19979\/revisions\/19980"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/artsatmichigan.umich.edu\/ink\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/17619"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/artsatmichigan.umich.edu\/ink\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=19979"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/artsatmichigan.umich.edu\/ink\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=19979"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/artsatmichigan.umich.edu\/ink\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=19979"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}