{"id":2311,"date":"2012-03-16T17:17:28","date_gmt":"2012-03-16T21:17:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www3.arts.umich.edu\/ink\/?p=2311"},"modified":"2018-01-20T06:52:16","modified_gmt":"2018-01-20T10:52:16","slug":"bear-parade-1-nosferatu","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/artsatmichigan.umich.edu\/ink\/2012\/03\/16\/bear-parade-1-nosferatu\/","title":{"rendered":"Bear Parade (1): Nosferatu"},"content":{"rendered":"


\n\u00e2\u20ac\u0153His feet keep walking.<\/span><\/p>\n

A lonely night.\u00e2\u20ac\u0153<\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m going to start a series of posts about bearparade.com, because I really like bears\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 parading and feel like maybe not a lot of people know about bears\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 parading (?) and feel like it \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcdeserves\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 attention. Did you know bears parade? I didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t until like a month ago.<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u01533. People who have gotten published at Bear Parade know that literature is dead, it has gone the way of painting, poetry, jazz, sculpture, and heavy metal, it is dead. But like learning that there [is] no god, a new freedom arises, knowing that the audience will never be that big again, gives a new view on the literature, I’m not sure if Bear Parade has a correct or incorrect view, but it is a new view, of fun mixed with existential hell.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

Bearparade.com is, basically, a website with free semi-amateurish fiction and poetry on it. Its type of writing is \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcwriting that people who seriously read Steven King novels wouldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t like probably.\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 Or \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcwriting that people who \u00e2\u20ac\u0153read seriously\u00e2\u20ac\u009d in general probably wouldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t like.’ Or \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcthe only literary writing people who grew up w\/ internet access and w\/ unexplained subconscious disdain towards classic books and literature in general could maybe read w\/ genuine enjoyment.\u00e2\u20ac\u2122<\/p>\n

What excites me about bears\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 parading is that it seems like the type of writing that people who don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t generally read could maybe read and enjoy.<\/p>\n

I like to read\u00e2\u20ac\u201dI read both \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcserious literature\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 and \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcsemi-amateurish stuff on the internet\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 and enjoy both\u00e2\u20ac\u201dand bears\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 parading is the only material I feel like I could earnestly share w\/ friends who don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t read.<\/p>\n

As a person who reads, I consciously try not to get atop altitudinous horses and tell people that they \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcshould\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 read. Truly nobody really \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcshould\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 read; some people must read, because it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s, like, required for their job or something, but nobody really should just feel compelled to read thick novels just because reading thick novels is ostensibly eo ipso<\/em> good, I feel. But, as person who reads but doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t like to tell other people to, I feel like I could earnestly tell someone who doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t read that they should read bearparade.com, because I would feel like I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m telling them to do something that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll result in genuine enjoyment, not telling them to do something that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll result in \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcenjoyment from fulfilling societal pressures to read oddslot<\/a> because reading supposedly means you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re an intelligent, artsy, cultured person.\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 (It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a huge, commonly held fallacy that reading is just automatically always a good thing. Like, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I should read The Great Gatsby<\/em> because reading The Great Gatsby<\/em> is intrinsically good.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d No. Don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t ever read just because you \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcfeel like you should read more,\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 ever.)<\/p>\n

Noah Cicero\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Nosferatu\u00e2\u20ac\u009d is a bear in the aforementioned parade of bears. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve decided to write about \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Nosferatu\u00e2\u20ac\u009d first in my series of posts about bears\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 parading because my house is having a \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcvampire party\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 this weekend and vampires currently feel relevant to me.<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153In a city that does not require a name.<\/p>\n

The city has a McDonalds, Wal-Mart, several municipal parks, sewage, city-water, garbage men, coffee shops, several colleges, coffee shops, and even some poets. The city has obese women who sweat when it is hot outside, it has men who think their haircut is more important than commerce, and it has cats who shit in litter boxes and never know the touch of grass on their paws.<\/p>\n

This is where Nosferatu walks. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u02dcRelevance\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 is really important for writing online\u00e2\u20ac\u201dthat\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s one thing I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve been figuring out, by reading \/ writing online.<\/p>\n

I posted the first page of \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Nosferatu\u00e2\u20ac\u009d to my house\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s vampire party\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Facebook wall, in relevance. Posting \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Nosferatu\u00e2\u20ac\u009d to a party wall seems like a good example of how I feel bears\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 parading is suitable for people who maybe don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t like to read. I would never post, like, a James Joyce excerpt to a party wall. But \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Nosferatu\u00e2\u20ac\u009d seemed somehow suitable. I would never post, like, an excerpt from Bram Stoker\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Dracula<\/em> to a party wall.<\/p>\n

The writing on bearparade.com is like that friend whom you feel comfortable bringing to a party because she\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s cool and can handle herself and won\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t embarrass you, whereas \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcserious literature\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 is like that friend you feel uncomfortable partying with because, although he\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s your good friend and you really like him, he can only handle himself in a few limited social contexts and situations, which is fine, but parties aren\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t included in his relatively small social \u00e2\u20ac\u02dccomfort zone.\u00e2\u20ac\u2122<\/p>\n

I.e.: James Joyce is the awkward guy w\/ whom I can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t party, Noah Cicero is the guy who maybe would be too cool to party w\/ me<\/em>.<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Nosferatu\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s\u00e2\u20ac\u009d word length is probably in the \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcshort-story\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 range, but the way it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s spaced out\u00e2\u20ac\u201dit has a weird style that utilizes very short paragraphs that have like only one or two sentences each\u00e2\u20ac\u201dand its presence on the internet instead of on cut-down trees makes me want to arbitrarily call it a \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcnovella.\u00e2\u20ac\u2122<\/p>\n

“Nosferatu” is a \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcnovella,\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 by Noah Cicero.<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Nosferatu looks sad and says, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Why is everyone criticizing me?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

Leo in an exasperated tone of voice says, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Because you have done nothing in years. Not since the fall of Rome have you done anything. It is like you’ve been depressed for 1500 years.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

I used to wear an uniform.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Nosferatu\u00e2\u20ac\u009d really doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t have anything to do with vampires. Cicero\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s choice of a vampire-lord protagonist is arbitrary, which is funny. Bears\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 parading is arbitrary, which is funny. I just read \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Cicero\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s\u00e2\u20ac\u009d and pictured the Roman political guy instead of the internet author guy. Which is\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Nosferatu\u00e2\u20ac\u009d is arbitrarily set in a city \u00e2\u20ac\u0153that does not require a name.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d As our world continues to homogenize\u00e2\u20ac\u201d(e.g. there\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s supposedly now a McDonald\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s very close to the Great Pyramid of Giza)\u00e2\u20ac\u201d it no longer seems to matter whether something is set in New York or Berlin or Chicago or wherever; all these places = \u00e2\u20ac\u02dccity\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 now. Noah Cicero seems to know that [bunch of different cities] = ‘city’ now, which makes me think he’s smart.<\/p>\n

Cicero picks a vampire-lord for a protagonist because the character is dark and detached and badass\u00e2\u20ac\u201dand that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s all there is to his decision, it seems. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Nosferatu\u00e2\u20ac\u009d just as easily could have been \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Holden Caufield\u00e2\u20ac\u009d or something. On bearparade.com, it seems the writers pay less attention to trying to make every detail and nuance of their stories \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcmake perfect sense\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 and pay more attention to trying to write things real people\u00e2\u20ac\u201dinstead of just, like, English professors\u00e2\u20ac\u201dwill actually want to read, for genuine enjoyment, which seems very good to me.<\/p>\n

By Googling \u00e2\u20ac\u0153bear parade\u00e2\u20ac\u009d I found some words from Cicero himself about why he likes bears\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 parading, and I share his sentiments (literally [get it?]):<\/p>\n

“Why I like Bear Parade<\/p>\n

1. Bear Parade does not publish idiots. Idiots can write well, an idiot can construct a 1000 page plot full of great poetic beautiful sentences, and still be an idiot. When Gene Morgan reads a submission and it is well written yet idiotic, he says, “This person is a [trucking grasshole (what\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s the rules for profanity on arts, ink anyway?)],” and does not publish it.<\/p>\n

2. People who write for Bear Parade do not take themselves seriously. People who write for Bear Parade don’t go around calling themselves writers and acting like bookish asses, and learn the names of really obscure shitty authors so they can sound cool inside of a coffee shop. There is no such thing as a “writer”, it doesn’t exist, it is like the word “cowboy”, it is a myth made up by movies to sell movies for the sake of profit. There is nothing awesome about a person sitting alone at a typewriter or computer, they are sitting, alone, their fingers are moving, that scene in that Rimbaud movie with him upstairs in the cold writing, that is really lame, it is a myth made up by the media.<\/p>\n

3. People who have gotten published at Bear Parade know that literature is dead, it has gone the way of painting, poetry, jazz, sculpture, and heavy metal, it is dead. But like learning that there no god, a new freedom arises, knowing that the audience will never be that big again, gives a new view on the literature, I’m not sure if Bear Parade has a correct or incorrect view, but it is a new view, of fun mixed with existential hell.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

He goes on, but those first three points seem like the main reason to like–or dislike–bears\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 parading. I imagine the bearparade style is not everyone\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s cup of tea. But I personally find it refreshing to read something different, on the internet, with nicely colored font. Because I get bored of reading 12 pt.-Times-New-Roman canonical books printed on paper sometimes.<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Ako says, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Nos, you have to listen to me: Leo wants the power. And you don’t want it. You should just let him have it.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153They are all short, flaccid penises.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153One last question Nosferatu, do you want to be the vampire-king?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

Nosferatu stands up and says, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I have always been king,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d and walks out of the room.”
\n—<\/p>\n

@barkmuckner<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153His feet keep walking. A lonely night.\u00e2\u20ac\u0153 I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m going to start a series of posts about bearparade.com, because I really like bears\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 parading and feel like maybe not a lot of people know about bears\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 parading (?) and feel like it \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcdeserves\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 attention. Did you know bears parade? I didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t until like a month ago. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":44,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[59,60,62,61,63],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/artsatmichigan.umich.edu\/ink\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2311"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/artsatmichigan.umich.edu\/ink\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/artsatmichigan.umich.edu\/ink\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/artsatmichigan.umich.edu\/ink\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/44"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/artsatmichigan.umich.edu\/ink\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2311"}],"version-history":[{"count":17,"href":"https:\/\/artsatmichigan.umich.edu\/ink\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2311\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8830,"href":"https:\/\/artsatmichigan.umich.edu\/ink\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2311\/revisions\/8830"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/artsatmichigan.umich.edu\/ink\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2311"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/artsatmichigan.umich.edu\/ink\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2311"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/artsatmichigan.umich.edu\/ink\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2311"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}