I\u2019m working on a solo clown show and it is killing me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s actually a clown show with some added baggage in the form of a critical eye toward depictions of disability and Madness in comedy. While that does have me worrying a bit more about the messaging and content of the show, it\u2019s not the main reason I\u2019m struggling.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I do think that part of the problem is that clown is out of my comfort zone. I\u2019ve had some training and I\u2019ve been told I\u2019m at least not terrible at it, but I\u2019d be much more comfortable writing something really sad with some beautiful language. But the catalyst for this entire show was frustration with the fact that no one could tell me why there were so many depictions of hunchbacks in comedy, which led to a rabbithole on disability in clown imagery, which leads us to this damn clown show.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ultimately, though, the problem here is just that I\u2019m making a show from scratch with a deadline and it kind of sucks. I think it will get done. It\u2019ll probably be fine. But creating a new work from nothing is not the same thing as figuring out how to embody a story that already exists. And it\u2019s not as simple as putting words on a page. It\u2019s more like flopping around like a dying fish until you accidentally make a thing. And that\u2019s stressful when you don\u2019t know when the \u201caccidentally making a thing\u201d part will happen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In my case, I had something of a breakthrough this week, so even though I\u2019m still daunted by everything I still have to figure out, I can kind of see the light at the end of the tunnel now. But I\u2019m still feeling the crunch. And I need a nap.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Honestly, though, I do think this space of unknown is kind of to be expected when you\u2019re making something new. I also think we aren\u2019t always honest with ourselves about how frustrating it can be.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
We live in a world driven by deadlines, reliability, and not wasting people\u2019s time. While I can see the value of these things in certain instances, let\u2019s be clear that these are capitalist constructs, and more so than that, they aren\u2019t realistic 100% of the time. Making stuff can be messy and it can be infuriating. I think there\u2019s room to have grace with ourselves. I also think we can be more compassionate with the expectations we place on each other.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
That\u2019s it. That\u2019s all I\u2019ve got. Whatever I manage to come up with show-wise will go up in the Keene in a few weeks. More info to come.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I\u2019m working on a solo clown show and it is killing me. It\u2019s actually a clown show with some added baggage in the form of a critical eye toward depictions of disability and Madness in comedy. While that does have me worrying a bit more about the messaging and content of the show, it\u2019s […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2284,"featured_media":25958,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[9,2159,2158,387,614],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/artsatmichigan.umich.edu\/ink\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27083"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/artsatmichigan.umich.edu\/ink\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/artsatmichigan.umich.edu\/ink\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/artsatmichigan.umich.edu\/ink\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2284"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/artsatmichigan.umich.edu\/ink\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=27083"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/artsatmichigan.umich.edu\/ink\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27083\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":27107,"href":"https:\/\/artsatmichigan.umich.edu\/ink\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27083\/revisions\/27107"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/artsatmichigan.umich.edu\/ink\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/25958"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/artsatmichigan.umich.edu\/ink\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=27083"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/artsatmichigan.umich.edu\/ink\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=27083"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/artsatmichigan.umich.edu\/ink\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=27083"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}