\nI feel like if I were to remember one thing about 2014 it wouldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t be me finishing my thesis (GODDESS PLEASE LET ME), graduating, travelling, whatever . . . it would be surviving not only the first polar vortex but the second one.<\/p>\n
The first day since \u00e2\u20ac\u02dc78 that the University of Michigan has cancelled classes. We all know this but BOOM. This is\/was exciting. I had a four day weekend. I went out on a Monday.<\/p>\n
Besides these obvious points, however, there are some other things that I cannot get out of my mind: snow\/cold\/chill protective outfits. In short, people\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s clothing is heinous. I am (not) some queen heckling on the side of the road, but people have gone absolutely off the cliff.<\/p>\n
1. It is -40 degrees.
\nI have been sick for months, and just got sick again. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m feeling better but I know I need to cover my mouth. I have maroon skinny jeans on, a maroon winter coat with fake fur, I have a maroon baseball cap on with accompanying scarf and red headphones-as-ear-muffs. I have layers of glasses to protect my eyes and gloves on gloves on gloves. And then someone jogs by me in a spandex body suit and that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s it. And then someone saunters back from the gym in shorts. And then I see someone model walk with their coat WIDE OPEN as they cross the street. I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t know who ya\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll are but I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m judging you. You might feel like you can stand the cold but your frozen flesh-skin-ice and I think differently. I try so hard not to judge or shame people for what they do or do not wear (because really why should I) BUT ITS SO DAMN COLD I GET COLDER JUST LOOKING AT YOU.<\/p>\n
2. It is 30 degrees.
\nI\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m healthy and have stopped putting a scarf over my face, and so people now walk on the same side of the road as me and don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t point as I walk down the sidewalk at them (apparently I look intimidating or eccentric as all get out). I have a reasonable amount of clothing on (basically the same thing as the -40 degree weather but this time I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m less hunched over and I might be singing\/breathing the cool air in). And then someone walks by in a 7-layer black body suit and a yellow neon hat pulled OVER THEIR EYES. Hello?<\/p>\n
3. It is 0 degrees.
\nIt\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s 11:30 at night and I leave my coat in the car; I have just arrived in Ypsi for the drag show. I start to run down the road at full speed in my skinny jeans, polka-dot top, necklace flying up and hitting my face, both hands on the hair to protect it from frizzing out . . . and then I slip. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m screaming now, full volume, as onlookers, wrapped up in 15 layers, point at the disheveled queer sliding his way into the bar. We all can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t be winners.<\/p>\n
The Polar Vortex has come and gone and come again. Each time we are surprised and we cope differently. But one thing remains constant: no one knows how to dress when its negative-you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re-going-to-die-temperature. And that is a subtle art of surviving in Michigan. Because at least if you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re frozen, you can still be one hot mess.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I feel like if I were to remember one thing about 2014 it wouldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t be me finishing my thesis (GODDESS PLEASE LET ME), graduating, travelling, whatever . . . it would be surviving not only the first polar vortex but the second one. The first day since \u00e2\u20ac\u02dc78 that the University of Michigan has cancelled […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":68,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[524,525,320,330,169,526,527,236],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/artsatmichigan.umich.edu\/ink\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4572"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/artsatmichigan.umich.edu\/ink\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/artsatmichigan.umich.edu\/ink\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/artsatmichigan.umich.edu\/ink\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/68"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/artsatmichigan.umich.edu\/ink\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4572"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/artsatmichigan.umich.edu\/ink\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4572\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4573,"href":"https:\/\/artsatmichigan.umich.edu\/ink\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4572\/revisions\/4573"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/artsatmichigan.umich.edu\/ink\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4572"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/artsatmichigan.umich.edu\/ink\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4572"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/artsatmichigan.umich.edu\/ink\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4572"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}