Today, I had the opportunity to read my writing out loud in public for, well, kind of the first time. It seems strange that I\u2019d never done it, aside from reading excerpts to my creative writing classes pre-workshop or reading things to my family or whatever. But I\u2019ve never participated in a poetry slam, never given a speech, really.<\/p>\n
I was nominated by my creative writing professor to share my writing at this yearly event where, for four nights, there are casual readings in the Shapiro Undergraduate Library. It was an honor to get nominated by him, although I have no idea how much that counts; did he nominate me over other people in the class, or did he nominate the whole class and wait to see who accepted? In any event, there\u2019s only one other person in the class who I know was also sharing, and even if she was just the only other person who accepted, it felt nice to get the recognition.<\/p>\n
I showed up today at 7:00, ready to share an essay I\u2019d published last summer on College Magazine about secondhand grief. As always, I was a little anxious the whole day about the experience. I\u2019ve always had stage fright, which reached its height in high school when I went onstage to play piano at recitals with 50 or so people. Though it wasn\u2019t as big of a deal this time, I was still a little nervous.<\/p>\n
It turned out the \u2018Caf\u00e9 Shapiro\u2019 event was even more casual than I\u2019d realized. Outside of a couple fellow readers\u2019 friends, one reader\u2019s parents, and a couple random people glancing over, there was basically nobody listening to the readings. I didn\u2019t really have a problem with that because it meant less stress for me, but I did wish I\u2019d invited a few people just because it felt so empty. I almost felt bad for the librarians who\u2019d organized it.<\/p>\n
So as I went up there and started reading (I was the ninth and last reader), I was only a little nervous. There was a ton of ambient library noise as people walked by constantly, which made it feel less scary. My essay was short and thematically in line with many of the other readings. And, to be honest, almost nobody was listening.<\/p>\n