I tried the McBaguette for those who cannot

While I was studying in Paris last year McDonalds introduced the “McBaguette;” this is my revue of their bleak attempt to pander to the refined French tongue:

But first, a disclaimer: I am not what you would define as a “foodie;” I care not for the finer dishes that Paris has to offer so I feel that my lowly and unrefined state only makes me fit to review a food group that I know well.

Webster’s Dictionary defines the “McBaguette” as nonexistent, but a semantic revolution is upon us.  Just as Greek mythology held that whoever consumed the food of the Underworld was doomed to spend eternity there, the McBaguette will entomb you within the walls of McDonalds and shame will be your proverbial sepulcher.  But it will be worth it because, unlike the Underworld, the McBaguette is great and only 4.50 Euros! So, dear reader, take a stroll with my palette…

When you first taste the McBaguette a certain sensation will grip you; this is the taste of two peppered steaks (TWO! Because why not!?), nestled between mustard, lettuce, cheese, and of course, a baguette.  Welcome to the sandwich of the future.  No more will you have to deal with the troublesome food of peasants that is the sesame bun.  You are better than that.  With the McBaguette a whole new era opens; finally, a food from McDonalds that you don’t need to be ashamed to eat in public because the thing is that whichever marketing genius decided to create this hydra of flavor was acute enough to make the McBaguette visually resemble your average French sandwich that can be bought in a boulangerie.  Maybe the reason the McBaguette is not being marketed in the U.S. is because this appeal wouldn’t stick.  In any case, I must bid adieu to this seraph in bread form and, like bats returning to their cave, I will adjust back to the darkness.