this week’s diary entry(˶′◡‵˶):
hey everyone : ) anyone else feel like they’ve been in a weird rut this past week? or maybe just since coming back from spring break, it feels like i’ve been in an never-ending game of catching up on everything. at the same time, i’m approaching the last few weeks of my college career, and am prioritizing spending time with people that i may not be seeing for a long time. right now, im with a few friends on the shoreline of lake Michigan, ignoring the piling amount of work i’m supposed to have done by this week. but, at least i’m having a good time!
this week’s diary sketch (◡̈ ):
like a lot of college students, it feels like my life is constantly changing. this year in particular, i’ve felt like i’m starting over in so many ways—forming new relationships, challenging old habits, and trying to push myself. but as i’m approaching the end of my last semester, i’m also being confronted with the reality that everything is about to change. most of my friends have an attitude of “why commit to something new when we’re only a few weeks away from leaving?” another friend’s “situationship” recently ended on the grounds of not wanting to commit to a serious relationship that would end by August.
and it makes sense. there’s a certain helplessness in knowing that a big change, one that’s out of control, is coming. all we can do is watch it approach and brace for impact. at the same time, i find myself somewhat resisting that way of thinking. why view life as a series of disconnected chapters, each one sealed off from the next? knowing that this period in my life is ending soon means i want to experience as much as possible here before i leave. things will change, but things have already been changing, constantly, quietly, our entire lives. maybe the milestones and drama are the most memorable, but i’ve found that real change happens in the aftermath of the storm. sometimes it happens so slowly that you don’t even notice, but that doesn’t make it any less grand. every week, i find myself doing something new, learning something new, thinking something new. i still find myself fighting old habits and thought patterns.
so why not embrace the change? the knowledge that this phase of my life is ending soon doesn’t make me want to slow down—it makes me want to take in as much as I can before I go. there will always be an ending ahead, but there will also always be something after it. once I graduate, I don’t think that will change.
sorry for the short post, like i said, things are a bit busy this week. but i hope everyone is doing well!
⊹ ₊ ⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ପ(๑•ᴗ•๑)ଓ ♡˚₊‧⁺ ₊ ⊹
weekly recommendations!!
- book: Sula by Toni Morrison
- album: 只因當時太緊張 (Zhi Yin Dang Shi Tai Jin Zhang) by my little airport
- show/movie: Saving Face
- food: Chili Paneer