Bucket List

My very first class of college was Musicology 139: World Music. It was 9:30 am and I stumbled into class, found a seat in the lecture hall and waited for wisdom to be imparted. Professor Castro opened the class by telling us to look around at each and every one of the 115 other music performance majors in our grade, because around us were 115 of the finest musicians our age who all had the potential to be the next Pavarotti or Yo-Yo Ma. She then had us look again, as she reminded us that while we all were talented musicians, it is unlikely that even 3 of us will make a living on music alone.

As a rational person, those odds make me want to run as fast as possible away from a career in music. Run to engineering and white picket fences where things are comfortable, safe and all but guaranteed. 3 in 115? What if it is 2? What if it is 1? What if none of us make it?

Last semester, music almost defeated me. I auditioned for numerous shows and could not seem to get the roles which I desperately wanted, hurting my pride and causing me to wonder if I was one of the 112 who stood no chance at a career. Additionally, I excelled as an engineer finishing an internship with a return offer, joining the EECS Honor Society, and maintaining a strong GPA, making the choice between music and engineering seem all but obvious.

Yet, on December 18th as I sang in Hill Auditorium for the School of Music’s Concerto Competition I remembered why I sing in the first place. Even though my entire body was shaking from nerves and I felt as if I could barely remember how to breathe let alone 10 pages of French marred with coloratura, I was happy. Finding freedom in the intense focus, I survived and rekindled the passion which has driven me to music.

Only time will tell if I’m one of 3 or of 112. However, I am currently one a few thousand who have sung a solo at the acoustically perfect Hill Auditorium. And for the little girl who wrote a bucket list in crayon detailing all the places she wanted to sing one day, it is enough to be able to cross Hill Auditorium off the list.