The Mysterious Arrival of Bagely

If you’ve been an avid fan of the Alumni Association’s Welcome Wednesdays free bagels and coffee like myself, you’ve most likely come across a mascot named Bagely, the new symbol of Welcome Wednesdays after their relocation to the League and Pierpont Commons during the Center’s construction. I don’t know who decided and approved the idea of a literal person dressed in a bagel costume, but I can say that his presence is certainly alluring albeit alarming. Bagely, a flat-looking everything bagel, has signature bright blue eyes and a mouth agape, a ribbon of cream cheese lining his circular edges, and is complete with puffy white gloves. He greeted me with a friendly wave outside the League this week.

From what I can find, Bagely was first introduced this year, as an effort to publicize Welcome Wednesdays, and as a way to greet students back on campus. This video, published a mere week ago, depicts a saddened Bagely unable to find Welcome Wednesdays, assisted by Michigan staff to its various new locations. Just a day prior to the video’s release, the Alumni Association sent out an email to Michigan students signed by Bagely himself. Bagely’s popularity has skyrocketed across campus, with memes popping up every day on Michigan’s numerous student Facebook pages and pictures of fans posing with the bagel mascot spread across social media. Students are drawn to his creepy presence and seemingly impervious demeanor, including myself. Perhaps he will even reach the same meme status as our beloved orientation hero Billy Magic.

Does this video eerily imply that Bagely is a cannibal if he eats his own species? Which poor student/staff member has to dress up like Bagely? Whose idea was this? Why did the university agree to spend money on promoting a bagel mascot? Why can’t he speak? Although my questions mostly remain unanswered, it appears that Bagely won’t be leaving campus anytime soon.