Things From Childhood Shows That I Wish Were Real

Imagination is a beautiful thing. It’s the same thing that has allowed people to come up with the most advanced technology and art. Had Steve Jobs told people from the 90s about what future cell phones could look like, they probably would have thought he was insane, but his imagination and innovation led him to do amazing things for our generation. I firmly believe that this form of imagination is no more valid that that which allows young minds to escape into the fantastical worlds of television, though these worlds don’t abide by the same rules as our world. So, in honor of this (and because I know my last few posts have been pretty text heavy) I have decided to dedicate this post to the top five things from my favorite childhood TV shows that I wish were real.

1) Socko Socks from iCarly

Okay, I admit I was probably too old to be watching this show, but Spencer’s socks from his mysterious pal Socko always had the coolest patterns. A lot of times, they even lit up. I’m sure this type of technology is not beyond us, so someone please tell me where I can get a pair of these.

2) The Out of the Box Clubhouse

If you’ve never seen this pile of boxes transform into the coolest clubhouse ever, it’s imperative that you click this link right now! Did you watch it? Okay, good, then we’re on the same page. When I was a kid I wanted nothing more than to turn boxes into magic like this, but my endeavors never turned out like this.

3) The “Let’s Watch a Disney Channel Movie” Filmstrip Roller Coaster

This blurry picture leaves much to be desired, but it captures the essence of how amazingly cool this was. Again, if you’ve never seen it or don’t recall the glory of this, please watch this video. Personally, I thought this was the coolest part of whatever movie they were about to play. The filmstrip roller coaster is awesome for two reasons. One, it would be the coolest most thrilling ride ever at any theme park. And two, can you imagine doing back flips and other gymnastic feats in the middle of space, sometimes jumping through a gooey neon strip of film? No. You can’t, because it hasn’t been invented yet.

4) Krabby Patties from Spongebob

Let’s be honest, if real burgers looked like this, I probably wouldn’t be a vegetarian.

5) The Blues Clues Jump of Wonderment

Imagine with me for a moment that a little wiggle of the hips and a jingle could transport you into your favorite Renoir or Picasso. Then, once you’re there, you could actually speak with the people and objects in the painting and they’ll not only speak back, but give you direction on your quests. Magic. This day must come or I will lose all faith in humanity. I don’t need an iPhone 8S, I need to be able to jump into pictures.