“Praying to a God” by Mr. Probz (LUKE remix)

I tuned in to my weekly discover on Spotify, absentmindedly listening to songs while I weeded through tangled thoughts. Midway through folding my laundry, the words from my stereo harnessed my focus into one single line of thought. I ran to my phone to check the name of the song “Praying to a God” by Mr. Probz (LUKE remix). I listened closely.

She’s praying to a god who won’t talk back
Her faith is dying to tears aside, she’s going off track
She’s praying to a god who won’t talk back, won’t talk back
Down on her knees said praying to a god who won’t talk back
Her momma believed that the devil had her dress on
So she’s out on the town tonight, she got her best on
Her daddy believed that the needle was a highway
So she powders her nose, she’s just looking for direction
It gets hard to feel the friction underwater
As she’s breaking down, she’s tearing out the borders
And too deep to save herself, she takes a pill that seems to help
Close her eyes, forget she standing at the alter

There was a story. The song writer uses euphemisms to gently describe a callous life, softened descriptions an intensely painful lifestyle surrounding drugs and hopelessness.

She’s praying to a god who won’t talk back
Her faith is dying to tears aside, she’s going off track
She’s praying to a god who won’t talk back, won’t talk back
Down on her knees said praying to a god who won’t talk back
– does she ever give up hope?
Her momma believed that the devil had her dress on
– Evil can come in disguise. Referring to a home wrecker?
So she’s out on the town tonight, she got her best on
Vengeance, put on her own dress…
Her daddy believed that the needle was a highway
– Her father is a heroin addict, so she looks for guidance from her heavenly Father, but He does not seem to guide her either…
So she powders her nose, she’s just looking for direction
– Powdering your nose sounds like a pampering gesture to get her back on her feet, like say cleaning up in preparation for a job interview. However, the reality of this story is the dangerous resort to cocaine as a means of feeling of elevation.
It gets hard to feel the friction underwater
 her coping strategy works for a moment, though she knows she’s drowning
As she’s breaking down, she’s tearing out the borders
– alas, the temporary high only leaves her feeling further submerged in her despair.
And too deep to save herself, she takes a pill that seems to help
– deeper in despair, she must find a stronger means of elevating herself, since she has more vertical distance to cover you could say
Close her eyes, forget she standing at the alter
– and life, through what could be the happiest moments, goes by in an apathetic blur

Then, I began pondering the meaning of the title. How curious it is that people have faith…and keep faith even when their god doesn’t respond to them or decide to let go. I dug up the novel song published in 2015 originally by the Norwegian duo Nico & Vinz. I’d heard of these guys! They did the radio hit “Am I Wrong?” that anyone with remote exposure to contemporary R&B music would know, but how come more people don’t hear this one? I always wonder what merits a radio hit. Praying to a God includes expressive language about the absence of peace and order, like what one would see without the presence of, for many people, God. Statistics show an obvious decline of organized religion. Why this is the first time in history that “no religion” dominates the results of surveys of Americans’ religious identity?

Throughout college, I’ve spoken with people who live with an absence of religion or are deeply grounded in one.

colored pencils as a token of friendship

I am a senior now, trying to resist the aching nostalgia as graduation approaches. Alas, it seeps into my thoughts and provokes introspection on my years in Ann Arbor. Though the reality of growing up might sting, what a gift it is to feel so deeply and to have matters to reminisce. I think about whether or not I have lived these years to the fullest…like Erik Erikson’s ego vs despair but at the end of a collegiate Wolverine lifespan.  I remember the pool of emotions that I had my first month at the University of Michigan: the thrill of being immersed in a the sea of maize at Michigan Stadium, the overwhelm from course syllabi stacking in my folder, the joy of making a new friend, and the humble pride to have been accepted to experience all of it. To those reading this and especially to you freshmen, embrace every feeling, crying alone because you’re homesick or sloshing in the wrong shoes as your feet prune when rain came unannounced on your walk home from central. You’ll blink and then you’ll be backpacking for senior year without a student advisor hovering over your shoulder, finally knowing how to do it on your own.

The story that follows felt apropos for the debut of my posts for senior year. One decision I made as a freshman gave definition to my entire college career.

With an orientation friend, I navigated (that’s a lie; my direction was aimless) through the crowds of unfamiliar people. I felt overstimulated by the innumerable extracurriculars, each of which seemed cool to me, but nothing really brought the color to my attention. What does it mean to bring color to my attention? I perceive emotion on a color spectrum. Something that evokes a high intensity feeling will illustrate a color scheme in my mind. E.g. Somber is a palette of grays and blues. Something “colorful” to me means that I feel passionate about it as passion encompasses an array of profound feelings.

Anyway, immersed the diag, I found one table unlike the others. Most tables presented free bic pens and those rubber pockets that stick to the back of your phone, but this table offered a neatly packed case of colored pencils…and a pocket-sized sketchbook! Though the colored pencils brought a visual color to my attention, colored emotions soared through my head. I redirected my interest in art to pursue a career in Biology and Spanish, but how I missed art already. I’d longed for an artistic outlet. Admiring the subtly awesome people, I thought: who are these people and how do join their club? This was the Arts at Michigan booth.

And so applied to be a student columnist, for which I wrote an article about the sonic and lyrical ingenuousness of Bon Iver’s 22, A Million album as my formal application, and thus began my 4-year journey with Arts at Michigan. Subsequently, I had my first meeting with Joe, my boss who endlessly encourages us inksters on our artistic endeavors and reinforces that our ideas matter with the mantra “share your genius.” This job has promoted my exploration of the endless opportunities to see and to share the arts on campus through my own creative lens and to find value in them.

lunch culture

An integral part of a country’s culture is its FOOD!! I made a point to take a photo with my lunch in front of the view in front of me to capture the ~flavor~ of the culture and my surroundings. Here is an exhibition of some examples from my food travels.

Jamón y queso: Ronda, Spain

Jamón y queso: Granada, Spain

Jamón y queso: Salobreña beach, Spain

Jamón y queso: Sevilla, Spain

Bratwurst: Munich, Germany

Pastéis de Nata (too yummy to wait for a more notable view outside the shop, though these tiles capture the magnificent colors of the city scape): Lisbon, Portugal

Crepe with bananas and chocolate: Paris, France

Chocolate croissant: Norte Dame Cathedral (photo taken on April 13, 2019, two days before the fire), Paris, France

Jamón y queso: Cabo de Gata, Spain

besides drinking coffee

I went to Lisbon, Portugal with a goal to find and to buy the perfect art piece as a memento from my travels there. I wish I could provide a coherent explanation as for what constitutes ‘perfect’ art; it is a personalized perfection, per se, because no two people will see a work of art with the same lens. How neat is that? That one person could be totally captivated by a piece while another is repulsed? Same property applies to other art forms (e.g. books—literary arts. One prominent example that comes to mind is The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger. Some people could not stand it. I loved it.) Good art is the artist’s ability to inspire a strong enough feeling from you to shift you from your normal resting state, whether you like it or do not like it. What makes art good is its capacity to fill someone with the urge to do or feel something your usual thinking/feelings. Art has the flexibility to be whatever the viewer sees it to be. Maybe art harnesses an idea that links to our past or an idea for which we hope in our future, like a subliminal connection to the work, and for that reason, we develop our taste for art. Maybe we are drawn to art because of a natural force that we experience when we are drawn to anything else, like “chemistry.” As for me personally, I like the magic of thinking our attraction is more of a niche.

Thanks for reading that mindwander*. Now, onto the my short story that catalyzed this reflection.

On my ascent to explore the São Jorge Castle, I put on those imaginary shopping goggles you wear when you are looking for only one item in particular so you don’t drain your wallet…because everything is so cool. In my case, my goggles were tinted for an art piece that showed personalized perfection. So as I climb, I pass many art stands.

The first stand: a display of composite art with rustic colors and a feminine undertone. I pause to admire a piece and consider that it might be the one, so I take a picture of the store to remember it on my way back. (In retrospect, I would have registered the store if I had really liked the art.)

The second stand: Further on the route sits a focused young woman who paints to pass time on a Saturday afternoon. I like the idea of her, but her art is basic. To me, the art on display lacks the unique flavor that artists pour into their work to distinguish theirs from any other work of the same subject.

The third stand: I reach a populated overlook of the city about halfway up the hill where I encounter a woman on her phone with headphones selling reprints of artwork. This feels phony to me. Copies?? No. I could go to kinko’s and make a copy myself. Give me that fresh, original piece that I won’t find anywhere else in the world.

And then. Through my shopping goggles, I see the perfect art.

Last stand: a tiny art station sits lodged in the corner of the platform and I am immediately captivated. Meet the artist Eduardo Roberto. Oh wait, excuse me, the “one and only Eduardo Rrrrrroberto” as he introduces himself. What a treat he is. He is friendly yet focused in his work. What I notice is that all his paintings are brown…it smells like coffee…on the table, there is coffee…a cup for drinking…two cups for drinking?…he dips his brush in coffee and he works on a piece for his display board right in front of me… Besides drinking coffee, he paints with coffee! This niche style and charisma inspires that change in feeling I mentioned in my reflection. This is definitely the one.

Check him out! @ Artista Do Castelo

P.S. To further capitalize his already notable originality, he encloses my painting in brown paper and signs the wrapping with a sketch of a cartoon self portrait…a remarkably accurate representation of his character: animated and original.

*mindwander: a made-up word in my personal dictionary that means a leisurely or aimless way of thinking or explaining an existential concept as a result of overwhelming inspiration that is enough in the boundaries of the topic to not be considered a tangent. Basically, arts, ink is the platform for writing all of my mindwanders.

Love Chapter 2 by L-E-V

Hello arts, ink readers! Writing to you from across the Atlantic where I am enrolled in a University of Michigan study abroad program in southern Spain. I’m thrilled to share some of the cool experiences I have had in the borderless world of creativity. No matter where in the world you are or what language you speak, there is art. Art is language that we can all understand.

One event that I had to pleasure of seeing was the choreography of Love Chapter 2 by L-E-V Company at the Teatro Alhambra in Granada where hundreds of people gather on Calle Molinos to watch international phenomenons. L-E-V Company is an Israeli dance and spectacle ensemble created by dancer Sharon Eyal and designer of multimedia events Gai Behar.

So, the lights dim, the curtain opens, silence falls over the audience, and a steady, isolated beat commences. Six dancers appear, both men and women dressed in fitted leotards colored by a muted greenish-gray tone, and they use this steady beat as a pulse to their every movement. Their solid figures remind me of dynamic sculptures because of their evidently large mass and capacity to stay perfectly balanced no matter how their bodies moved. Their godlilke muscles are traced by the subtle overhead lights. There is a only small, selective emphasis by light techniques since the dance itself is quite elaborate and any extra effects would distract from the pure intensity of the dancers.

The single rhythm as well as the movements slowly evolve to demonstrate the feelings of love. The music has an important role in the message of Love Chapter 2. It begins simply yet mysteriously with only a drum, like when you first encounter someone or something intriguing. From that point, new sounds are layered one-by-one until the music becomes an organized web of sounds. The increasing complexity of the music mimics the increasing complexity of the dance to represent when love changes into something more intricate and more exciting as you come to know someone. Then, we see passion. This style of dance is unlike anything I have seen before. The dancers move in ways that challenge what I had imagined possible while they somehow maintain elegance in a wholistic manner, every feeling is written clearly across the dancer’s faces and throughout their entire disposition. Though they all perform the same routine, each dancer expresses his or her own slightly unique interpretation. That’s to say while there is synchrony, it is not the robotic synchrony that seems mechanical, but rather shows character and humanness…an attribute to the nature of love itself. During the show of consistently awe-striking dance, one of the six dancers would break apart from the group’s synchrony and perform his or her own unique movements. That is how the director emphasizes new, strange feelings and also the beauty of love and how each person feels love in their own way.

Above all, my favorite part is the moment that the director / choreographer comes to the stage and I see a person behind the magician of the theater.

For more information on L-E-V, check out their website: https://www.sharoneyaldance.com/en/home

Reminder

If you are grateful for where you are, then you have to respect the road that got you there.” A friend showed this quote to me, and I don’t have the original reference.

Especially in college, the majority of us feel like we are wandering through life, mapping out where we want to go, but this journey often seems aimless. We may riddle our thoughts with what ifs and I should haves which only harbor uncertainties about our choices. We worry that changes to our past would have been led us to something that “feels right.” This is dangerous thinking, mostly futile actually…since there is nothing you can do to change the past. They are also a little foolish because you are at the University of Michigan! Whatever road you took got you HERE! That’s something to be grateful for. Instead of second guessing, remember where you are. Dismiss regret and move forward. You learned something on your road, so take that knowledge to your next destination.