Capturing Campus: Homebody

Homebody

The copper hinges on the backyard door groan when it rains

pipes thundering like a dejected one man drumline

the clothes line snapped last month

just before the sink ran dry

but the wallpaper got wet somehow

and the ceiling weeps every morning

It sags like peeled flesh

with mold like hair growing 

or maybe I’m imagining the fuzz in the fridge

that’s not frigid anymore

and I wonder if that’s why they call fridges fridges

or if chairs always had three legs instead of four

but that can’t be right because the kitchen table has two 

and my bed squeaks because it’s lonely

I’ll grease the hinges next time it rains

Capturing Campus: My Savior

TW: Sexual assault, domestic violence, toxic relationships

My Savior 

Should I bless

the carving in my chest

where your words plucked at veins

and picked at my pulp

wrap me up and keep me

Should I weep

as you leave

Would it relieve 

this bleeding heartache

aching for your nails digging in

for the impact of your fist

the raised bruises on my arms

burning between my thighs

It was always you I begged for

I wanted the hurt you’d give me

even still I do

sometimes miss you 

miss the misconception 

that I deserved this

and that kneeling on my knees

was deliverance

I begged you to deliver me 

holy and broken 

dignity like a lemon peel

I’m worth nothing to you

and I owe you your falling flesh

without a kiss

of apology or sympathy 

No goodbyes

for the liars and sadists 

because you killed me

and I saved me

Capturing Campus: The Fog (Revisited)

This is a counter to the first poem I made for the blog way back in 2021! In it, I explored feelings of isolation and the sense that those around me were living their lives while I succumbed to my own struggles. I wanted so badly to take hold of my life, but I felt I couldn’t. This revisitation conveys a resolve to live, and serves as a reminder that nobody has things “figured out,” and that that is perfectly alright. 

The Fog (Revisited)

Apart from everyone

pure silence punctures

thick fog

not by choice

Not special but singular

beings rush by 

defined while I am not

speaking where I cannot

Self-pitiers do not prosper 

I transition to spite myself:

a new person of different desires

deeper volition 

not helpless but harboring demons

in the dark and daytime

Concealment isn’t comfort anymore

I am strange and suffering

no different from the spectators 

The fog recedes 

I see now

the world isn’t new

but I am in it

Streetlight at U-M

The Art of Involvement #5

Using his poetry to advocate for Palestine is Yahya Ashour’s persistent mission as he tours from college to college across the United States. He grew up in the Gaza strip and has family there now. His pain and struggle is ever present, and he admits the darkness that completely overtook him following Israeli attacks following October 7th was crippling and is something he has to process everyday. This deep sadness that was at first paralyzing is now the force that drives him to continue traveling endlessly, sharing his art, and advocating for his people.

Ashour visited the University of Michigan-Dearborn in February. I remember sitting down in the auditorium as he set up, scanning the audience and passively noting how this was one of the first campus events that I saw such a diverse age range attending. Ashour gently spread a keffiyeh atop the podium. And then he read.

He had several poems to share, all with a clear, steady voice. He discussed dreams haunted by survivor’s guilt, life among rubble, and the abandonment of Palestinians in Gaza as neighboring nations looked on. Each poem was phenomenal in its craft, but the audience hesitated to applaud. How do you clap for someone’s suffering, laid out in front of you, eloquent as it may be?

Art is in many ways a way of breaking yourself open and giving your vulnerability to the world to digest. Sometimes, our appreciation of other’s skills in relaying their pain makes me feel rotten inside. I feel like I am intruding on the complex suffering of another human being. But from art, from expression, comes a greater understanding of the world and motivation to change it. 

It also gives space to conversation. Through audience interaction, I met the man that housed Ashour and helped him through the lows of the months following the beginning of Israel’s brutal retaliation. I met Palestinian elders that expressed their pride for Ashour’s dedication and heart in speaking for their people. 

One of the most key components of this conversation, however, was the critique Ashour laid out. Having spent extensive time in Michigan and some time in Dearborn specifically, Ashour delivered direct, relevant complaints to the audience about how he expected more origanization and action from Dearborn, known for being a heavily Arab American populated city. Ashour also spoke to the United States at large, to the masses of people going through the motions of life without a care for those being slaughtered with American money and arms.

Certainly, not everyone avoids despair over this genocide. Since November, I feel like I scroll through a terrifying display of war, bombing, death, mutilation, and starvation each day and shut down, unable to process the monstrous inhumanity. But I let myself be paralyzed by it too often, and end up doing nothing but engaging with them online or ranting about the genocide to friends.

When I thoughtlessly asked how one rose out of despair to take action, he responded, “I am not the person to ask. I am in despair… Perhaps you need to despair,” he commented, likely thinking of the many, many Americans that go through life with a shield of apathy and a cutting sword of unjustified helplessness.

There is a desperate need for active morals instead of default “neutrality”, which I feel more often than not describes ignorance that persists through a helplessness we grant ourselves, or else an avoidance of the pain that needs to be addressed. We think that reposting on social media infographics and Palestinian art is enough to assuage our moral failings, but this is supplementary at best. We think that we are only responsible for ourselves, that our morality is self contained, while our elected leadership continues to make decisions that cause death after death.

It is all too easy to despair, but Ashour tries to call us into action and not just well meaning empty promises. We have more agency and power than we know, particularly when we organize. We need strategy, which is what those who implement oppression excel at.

Now I see college encampments across the globe and I am proud. I see how they engage art through poetry readings and posters in a way that has much more meaning in person, in community. They are acting on the art as opposed to just consuming it, which reflects Ashour’s belief of art being a motivating core of the Free Palestine Movement. I know these actions have brought Palestinians and Ashour some hope. There is still much to do. I pray that more come forward and continue in allyship to liberate others, maintaining the lessons learned in organizing and effecting real change.

So as we engage with art in all of its thematic and political allure, we must remember that it is more than just entertainment. Poetry has been a lifeline for me, and in it I find humanity inseparable to a call to action. In suffering, I find the urge to soothe suffering. In joy, I find the desire to create and protect that joy for others. Art is survival. May we continue to create and recite and share and act until we are all free.


Buy an ebook of Yahya Ashour’s poetry here. Proceeds go to helping his family get out of Gaza.
Follow Yahya Ashour to learn more about his work and how you can help Palestinians

@yahyaashour98

Wolverine Stew: Travel Log

There was always going to be a list

First wandering far past downtown to

A bus stop where once I walked westward with

Mud-caked boots and a rain-soaked umbrella

And two friends, all doing our best to flee

The Hash Bash haze awaiting us

And at that point I made a goal

To cover every cardinal direction

And see how far I could wander

East had long been done, a loop

That sent me past the first flowers,

Mannequins, ant colonies, and mourning doves

Of a spring with five false starts

But one always welcome all the same

Travelling together, time spent speculating

About what makes a “good” scary

And in between my trips I stopped

For a moment amidst tabletop memories

Or going through the graveyard, daisies blooming

Or an overlook of Shakespearean summers

Or a last time wandering the Arb for me

And the first for another

Before I made my way north, by bus, by foot

Into that setting sun with turkeys in the trees

Deer in the dark, raccoons by the road

Each a reminder of my final walks

As I took in the same stars

And finally, I decided to

Replace that chance to

Take a southward route

With a carnival, one more roll of dice

And a “see you later” to

Friends I go through the witchlight with

Because I’ll be back to finish my goal

Of four ways to wander

And start a few more trails anew

After all, I remember the paths

And the ones I walked them with