Harry Potter and the Childhood Secret

I am making it publicly known, possibly against the better judgment that I, a member of the Harry Potter generation is actually a fraud.   I have in fact, yet to read the Harry Potter series.  There, I said it!  Phew…a weight has been lifted.  I didn’t know it was such a blemish on my record until I came to college.  Everyone I met had read them and ostracized me when they found out I had not.   Even though my best friend of three and a half years won’t admit it, I know she is embarrassed that I really don’t know about Hogwarts.

I avoid telling people this sad factoid about myself until it either a. comes up in conversation where there is no avoiding it for I can’t lie or b. I get to know them for a year and a half and feel compelled to share my deepest darkest secrets with them.  Since you reader, have not asked I had to resort to option b, telling you at about the year and a half point in our relationship.  If you kept reading to this point you are probably experiencing shortness of breath, dizziness and I might advise you to begin breathing slowly into a paper bag.  The shock will subside within a few minutes, so don’t be alarmed.

Now that you are at the point of breathing normal again, this is where most people ask, “I don’t understand, how did you not read Harry Potter?!”  Well, like most things in life, I blame it on my parents.  They forced me into sports and didn’t expose me to the fantastical life J.K Rowling created.  So thanks Mom and Dad for ruining my childhood and adulthood and sending me into a life of a recluse.

I will end this story with good news for all.  I have made it my short term goal to complete the Harry Potter series by April in hopes of regaining a piece of my childhood and avoiding ridicule in the real world.  However, when I went to the library to check out the first book, it was already gone!  I knew there were others out there like myself lurking in the shadows.  Come out and let yourself be known…and also, return the book!