A Muddled Post for Me

I can never really convince myself that I am an intrinsic reader. This is partly due to my history with literature. I don’t really have one. In fact, the earliest record of my interaction with literature or rather, picture books to be more precise, is of me when I was a very small boy, about 3 years old, flipping through books, illiterate, thus making up stories of my own.
I didn’t really read that much later on either. I never got swept into the whole obsession with easily consumable series books. In fact I remember disliking the first Harry Potter book, one that I didn’t even read upon its release but rather quite later. Even in high school I didn’t read that often.
It wasn’t until the summer after graduating from high school that I suddenly gained an interest in literature AND I STILL HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHY.
This got me thinking, or rather, looking for an explanation. Which brought me to the realization, that the one form of narrative that was constantly a part of my life, was, and still is, film, the marvel of cinema.
It was through film that I learned how to speak English after moving to America from Korea. More importantly however, the medium influenced my style of writing to some degree or at least that what other people have suggested. It is hard to really say what my writing style is like, what it resembles, unless I am specifically and consciously trying to replicate a particular style that I found that I love. I could be trying to write something like the dialogue of Quentin Tarantino or trying to write a description of the beautiful shots of a P.T. Anderson or Stanley Kubrick film. Maybe I am thinking about the striking visuals of “Baraka” and trying to capture it in words.
Maybe I can tell I have a visual background because that is what I think about, visuals, images, etc. I think about the waterfall I slept next to when I went camping, the stars that dotted the night island sky.
Ephemeral images.
Often, such things influence me. Little images, patterns, or a phrase, never full ideas or concepts, inspire me.
But like I said, now that I am interested in literature (honestly for the first time in my entire life), my views have altered, and without a doubt, my writing style has changed. All thanks to the novels in recent memory, novels such as, “A Clockwork Orange”, “The Trial”, “The Master and Margarita”, “Gravity’s Rainbow”, “Pastoralia”, “Cat’s Cradle”, and etc. All of these novels I recommend (well “Pastoralia” is a collection of short stories, one of the short stories being called Pastoralia). There is a joy and excitement of exploring the medium that I will most likely continue to study. It is exciting and my film adoring background is certainly casting a different light on everything.
This whole piece is incredibly muddled and awful. Although all my past posts have been for me as well, I will explicitly say that this post was definitely for me.
I just needed to sort this through.