Author: Natalie Minor

The Life and Lies of George Costanza

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Sometimes I sit alone and wonder whether there is a better or worse character in the history of television than George Costanza, who if you don’t know is one of the four ensemble characters on Seinfeld. Many times I have cried from laughter watching this dysfunctional, irrational man getting himself in and out of tight spots (both literally and figuratively), but just as many times I have cringed at the thought that this walking farce is based on a real person. Let’s just consider some of the things that Georgie (as his mom so affectionately calls him) has gotten away with relatively unscathed:

  • He creates a fake charity called the Human Fund so that he doesn’t have to get his coworkers Christmas presents by making a donation on their behalf. He then accepts a hefty donation to his fake charity by his boss and tries to keep it for himself.
  • He leaves his car in the New York Yankee’s parking garage for a week and his boss George Steinbrenner assumes he’s DEAD, so he fakes a bunch of injuries to cover for the fact that he just never goes to work.
  • His fiancé dies from licking too many toxic envelopes while sending out wedding invitations, and he doesn’t mourn her so much as he mourns the giant fortune he finds out they would have inherited together.
  • He tries to get Elaine to set him up with Marisa Tomei (yes, that Marisa Tomei) even though he is engaged at the time (which he is aware of, thank you very much.)
  • He has a contractor alter his desk so he can sleep under it instead of doing work. When George Steinbrenner comes looking for him and sits in his office for over 3 hours, he has Jerry call in a bomb threat to get him out of the office, only to have Steinbrenner and his grandkids hide under his desk and find him.
  • He goes on a date with a waitress from Monk’s and while walking through the park talks about how, when you break it down, manure isn’t so bad. It’s just a newer, with a ma in front of it!
  • He starts dating a woman in prison because she won’t be able to “pop in” on him unexpectedly, and then tries to break up with her when she’s up for parole (she doesn’t get out on parole but then does the ultimate pop-in when she breaks out of prison and shows up at his apartment.)

This is just a taste of the absolute chaos that is the life of George Costanza. His life is like the opposite of the whole “I can’t make this up” in that it’s complete nonsense – there’s no way his life isn’t made up. And yet somewhere, at this very moment, Larry David is walking around causing some raucous. The genius who created Seinfeld based George off of himself, a fact that simultaneously leaves me disturbed and feeling better about my own life.

As I so often do, I will leave you with a little bit of George Costanza. Here’s a best of:

 

Dropping the Needle

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Vinyl LPs have been back ‘in’ as far as trends go for a few years now, and whether it be dusting off your parents old Bruce Springsteen records (thanks Dad!) flipping through Louis Armstrong and Johnny Cash at record stores, or buying new releases of contemporary artists at Urban Outfitters (and getting the stink eye from other music fans), there are plenty of ways to get in on the game. It is absolutely true that vinyls have a richer sound, and that the pops and feedback add to the experience, though it’s not for everyone. It is also absolutely true that Crosley record players are awful and should be avoided at all costs – it is way better to save your money and make an investment, unless you really dig hearing skips throughout a whole playback of a record you just dropped a pretty penny on.

Building a record collection is pretty fun and also nostalgic – there is something special about holding an old piece of plastic in your hands and realizing that someone opened it for the first time 60 years ago and had the same emotions you did when you played it for the first time. There is something really cool about taking the Beatles ’65 album you stole from your mom out of its sleeve and seeing that someone had filled out an order form for the Beach Boys that was probably denied by their parents. There is something downright hilarious about flashing the cover of The Monkees at your dad at a barn sale and hearing him mutter about how ‘they didn’t even play their own instruments’ because he is still in denial that he LOVED watching their show when he was a wee boy. (Side note: IFC plays The Monkees sometimes on weekend mornings, and you can see just how hard Davy Jones tried to talk himself out of many a pinch with that British accent.)

There are so many things to explore in the world of vinyl, and one of the coolest things that I’ve been into recently is colored vinyl. It’s been around forever, but is much more rare than the traditional black and also much easier to stare at for hours. In recent years it has resurfaced as a cool medium for ‘limited edition’ releases, which is even more exciting because if you got it you’re one of a proud few, and if you missed the original release you’re just SOL. I just got a double colored LP of Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds that came in electric blue and pink, so in case you’re having trouble picturing just how rad this is, I’ve got a pic:

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How cool is that? If this doesn’t make you want to buy more records, I don’t know what will.

Halloween Screams

Natalie Minor 1 Comment

FORGET pumpkin spice. Tomorrow is the first day of October, which means it’s time to accept what all you non-spooky people of the world have been denying for the entire month of September. IT’S HALLOWEEN. Yes, the official date of Halloween is at the end of the month, but really there is enough to go around for all 31 days and then some, so don’t be a spoil-sport and deny yourself of some of the greatest binge-watching and jump scares (if that’s your cup of tea) that the world wide web has to offer.

Now, I may be a little biased, seeing as my birthday is basically Halloween plus/minus 24 hours, but this holiday is not just for the Scorpios of the world. Halloween is all about nostalgia – connecting to old pagan and folk roots and traditions, celebrating the supernatural creatures that we’ve come to know as myth, and recognizing our connection to the past through talk of the unknown. Sure it’s become an increasingly commercialized holiday that is no longer associated with its religious origins, but the increased awareness of the things that lurk in the shadows is something that is not lost upon us. If the upcoming sixth installment of Paranormal Activity tells us anything, it’s that we still do have an interest in the unexplained, even if we try to come up with any excuse to tell each other otherwise (see: “yeah, man, Paranormal Activity wasn’t scary at all, I totally didn’t have trouble sleeping for a week after”).

So what’s my point? If you spend the entire year living with your face pointed at the sun and avoid the shadows, now is the time to step over to the creepy side. I’m giving you an excuse to watch those ghost shows that you don’t believe at all but that are just so interesting to watch. Give Ghost Hunters a try if you want to watch something that could trick you into believing in the spirit world, or Ghost Adventures if you just want to watch a guy with extreme shark fin hair talk dramatically at the camera. If you want to be creeped out and listen to some famous people, check out Celebrity Ghost Stories – but maybe not at night. There is a new show called Amish Haunting that is incredibly fake and disturbing (i.e. goat baby), but it’s the kind of train wreck from which you can’t look away.

Don’t forget the horror movies – the State Theater will be screening A Nightmare on Elm Street, Goodnight Mommy, and Rocky Horror Picture Show in October. Rocky Horror is a must, but make sure you look up the show’s traditions first. Don’t forget the family movies either. You may not be eight years old anymore, but Hocus Pocus and Halloweentown will still hit the spot. Who doesn’t want Bette Midler to put a spell on them? And lest you forget, Halloween is just another excuse for you to watch Harry Potter. ABC family will of course be showing the boy wizard during their 13 Nights of Halloween, along with gems like Caspar and the Addams Family.

I’ll leave you to it, then, while I go watch something just a tad bit scary. I’ll just put these here to pique your interest:

 

(Say hi to Kevin McCallister’s mom – yeah I went there, Christmas is around the bend)

 

As an aside, I would like to thank the unusually large number of trick-or-treaters that breezed through my parent’s neighborhood almost 22 years ago, and my brothers for making my dad take them trick-or-treating so that my 9-months-pregnant mother had to keep getting up to answer the door.

I’m Your Shirt

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Until this week, I’ve never felt like I could relate to a shirt.

That may be one of the weirdest sentences I’ve every typed out that has been based completely in reality, but it’s true. Okay, so let me explain before I start getting a bunch of concerned looks. I think one of the coolest things about music is that it can make you experience things you’ve never felt before, can take you to places you’ve never been, and can capture emotions fundamental to the human experience. It is an endless playground for artists to continually redefine and reinvigorate the same emotions and narratives, and to make space for new ones.

I was listening to an album this week by The Belle Brigade, a sibling band formed by two of composer John Williams’ grandchildren, when I came upon their song, Shirt. Let me be clear – this song is actually, completely about a shirt. The whole song is about a shirt, but it is also a wonderful metaphor for feeling worn out and being taken advantage of by people and by love, and about finding strength in your resilience. It’s a wonderful gem about coming to terms with your struggles and with your weaknesses, and about taking ownership of who you are. It was a song I didn’t know I needed this week, but I haven’t been able to stop listening to it.

It’s so cool, and such a testament to the talent of musicians and the power of music when such a simple metaphor can make such a powerful statement.

Listen to Shirt on Spotify here!

Bad Bad Hats

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Over the summer I got really into this band out of Minneapolis called Bad Bad Hats. They’ve got a really fun acoustic sound that’s perfect for blasting while on a road trip with the sun beating down on you and a film reel playing in your head. Essentially, pretty ideal for anyone who imagines their life as a movie. I recently made a pretty cool discovery when I stumbled upon their lead singer’s bandcamp page from before the band started working on their first EP, It Hurts, and since then I have been playing her early music and the EP’s original demos on loop.

What I love about Kerry Roy’s music is that she writes really soft and sweet love songs, complete with visually vivid lyrics and fluttering harmonies, but captured in each easygoing piece is a complex story about the struggles of relationships missing from a lot of contemporary love songs. For instance, her piece 9AM tells the story of a person who leads someone on because she knows she “doesn’t feel a thing” but is too attached to let go. This apology piece is complicated by lines like “I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry I’m not sorry” and “don’t tell me I can’t stay but know I’m gonna treat you badly.” I Know I Am But What Are You is a song about wasting your time on someone who doesn’t seem to want to be with you, but settling for the fact that you are the one they choose to be with at the end of the night. Not only is this a possible foil to the person in 9AM, but it touches on relationships that  go undefined by the parties involved and the difficulties of navigating them.

One of my favorites is a song called The Things We Never Say, which tells the tale of two people in a complicated relationship who do a lot of things “wrong” by conventional standards. They make each other jealous, are never around when needed, and don’t know how to say ‘I love you,’ but their feelings for each other go without saying. It’s a beautiful song about resigning yourself to another’s flaws and realizing that you love them regardless.

I would definitely suggest giving her demos a listen if you are looking for a new sound for the summer, as well as grabbing a free download of their EP, which has a higher quality sound. You can find her demos on her bandcamp here.

Marcel the Shell with Shoes On

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The first week of April is here, which means we are a few shallow and anxious breaths away from a whirlwind of papers and exams, and of sleepless nights accompanied only by the sugariest of late night snacks and the saltiest of tears. It’s the time of year where one good reprieve from the frontline of studying is the difference between a mental break and a hard-fought conquest. As you prepare to either give yourself an exhausted pat on the back or tell your parents that “hey, grades aren’t all that matters, you know? I hear the circus is hiring,” I present you with an oldie but goodie.

Marcel the Shell with Shoes On is a video-short series created by Jenny Slate and her husband Dean Fleischer-Camp. You might know Jenny from her time on SNL, or as Jean-Ralphio’s sister Mona-Lisa on Parks and Rec, or even from this incredible interview on Late Night with Seth Meyers where she talks about the time she got high in an astronomy class in college. She really shines as Marcel, who is quite literally a little shell wearing shoes who has a very bright and rose-colored look on the great big world. It’s the perfect pick-me-up for just about any time you’re down, and is an essential piece of any finals coping strategy. If you don’t believe me, see it for yourself:

As an added bonus – here is Jenny Slate on Conan singing Landslide by Fleetwood Mac as Marcel: