A House of Favorite Things

“BOOK. FISH. SUIT. TIME. MOTHER. FATHER. LIFE.

Everything is part of Everything.

We Live, We Blunder

LOVE UNITES US.”

~Maira Kalman

This quote is one I have recently come across on the back of a most intriguing book found in the basement of Literati Bookstore. The book at first looks like it was handpainted and handwritten, and that’s just how it is meant to be. The book entitled “My Favorite Things” documents and explores the significance of objects that thread in and out of our lives and make our lives what they are. It’s the most unmaterialistic book about material items.

Image via mairakalman.com

It’s beautiful, it’s personal, it’s unique to Maira Kalman and yet it’s a book that speaks to every reader. Even though your eyes may scan over a watercolor illustration of Kalman’s living room and think, “That doesn’t look like my living room,” it nevertheless possesses armchairs, coffee tables, paintings, a window that looks out onto the street, perhaps a musical instrument, a stack of magazines, that reminds you of your own house – the advice given to you in that room, the stories told, the love shared, the tea spilled, the tears dried, the memories molded [some still enshrined in your brain while others you have forgotten].

Image via mairakalman.com

This book about objects is extremely important in my life of late because of a certain transition: that passing of old houses from one family to the next. Two years ago, we moved out of my childhood house in Jackson, Michigan and my family followed me to Ann Arbor (staying on their side, of course, so as not to encroach on my campus lifestyle!) We passed over the keys to new residents, yet for financial reasons, we still had a bit of ownership over it. Through those two years, I never went back to see it. 1) I never had a reason to but also 2) I wasn’t sure how my heart would feel seeing it again.

Because a house is not just a box of wood and paint. It houses human hearts – it’s a body for our bodies. It lives and breathes with us. It changes. It needs mending. It provides nourishment and shelter and escape and refuge and yes, even stress. It is a home for our memories – from its smell to its stains to its cozy nooks of comfort. And when it’s no longer yours, it’s like a piece of your family’s identity is left behind, too. But we move on. We grow together, we make new memories, we find new nooks. But we still remember our old friend. And I bet you – it remembers us.

In honor of last week’s final selling of the Jackson house (we are no longer the bank), I’m dusting off a poem I wrote in the aftermath of our move:

ode to a beloved yellow house

I had a little treasure box
nineteen years and counting
a shy pastel bursting 
with buttery flavor.
Nature had its way
with decorating – as it does:
promiscuous kisses watermarked
its walls, flecks of snow and dust
collected on its faded, well-worn cheeks.
The lilac lasted but a week –
a single blink of an observant eye. 

Winds would break its fragile walls,
crack its bones
against the test of time,
they said.

But my treasure trove was sturdy,
a bulwark never failing.
Its heart beat
stronger
than any thunderclap.
When opened
(very carefully now,
locks to the right,
defies expectations)
I found a jungle of memories,
vines of lives
well-traveled
and
well-
loved.

Couch seats [seams ripping,
fur-bedraggled, evaporated tints]
welcome you
to Home.
A musty odor
of damp
and old
and wisdom
brings the anticipation
of summer.
Fans flap
and clap
and applause
your busy day,
try their best
to cool you
down.
That spot there,
where
you spilled your toothpaste,
brush too big
for your five year old
mouth,
looks up without disdain.
“Don’t give up,”
it encouraged,
and provided
second
chances again
and
again.

My box loved its pairs:
(Vivaldi, pancakes)
(parents, child)
(kitten, family)
(sickness, health)
(laughter, tears)
(darkness, creaks in the night)

A two-way
love
permeated through its walls,
from our skin-
we kept its secrets,
as it kept ours.
Look! My whispers,
my thoughts,
my jam-covered crumbs
nestle snuggly
in the space
between
carpet
and wood.

I close my box with one tear-
sealing our bond
with the one everlasting gift.
The love of memories
wedged deep in
hearts,
in cube-shaped
cutouts.
Jump right in
and don’t ever let go.

For we don’t empty,
we retain,
build on
new layers.

Today,
I have moved my treasures
to the transparent future
where I
can look out
and always see
my
lovely
little
box
-as it always stood-
filling up with new
treasures that
aren’t mine
to find
anymore.

Thanksgiving Poem

Every year on Thanksgiving, my great aunt would read a poem her father read to her called The Turkey Gobbler. In honor of that tradition, here is a poem of all of the things I am grateful for (and you should be grateful for!) at The University of Michigan.

Thanksgiving day comes but once a year
And always it is filled with cheer
Unless of course we do forget
To say our thanks to the people we’ve met
So tell your family and tell your friends
How happy you are that your love never ends
Then look to the west and HAIL the Big House
Pizza House feta bread could please a Michigan mouse
Say thanks to the profs and all the GSIs
Shake your advisor’s hand as you say your goodbyes
Make sure your colors always bleed maize and blue
And take a big sip of some Ann Arbor brew
Then head to the Diag and skip over the M
Say thanks to the squirrels as they scurry to the Den
Take a walk by the Huron
Meet your friends in the Ugli
Sneak some food out the dining halls
Quote JFK smugly
The law quad is perfect for some quality pictures
At Charley’s you’ll surely find some top notch mixtures
So gather your blue books and your number 2 pencils
The Union’s got you covered for fun UMix late night specials
Check the tea out at Wisdom
And down at Tea Haus
Try the coffee at Amer’s
And Espresso Royale
Be jolly at Pumpkin
For a nice stout or pale ale
Run around the Arb
And pet the dogs at finals
Paint the rock at night
Play your hipster rock vinyls
Do trivia at Brown Jug
Or maybe someplace else
Find some chalk at Mash
Hunt fairy doors
Look for elves
Work hard all day
Then play hard at night
Dance ’til the morning
Skeeps, Rick’s, and Necto dim the light
Have an egg on your Frita
Walk barefoot in the fountain
Find your painting at UMMA
Trek off to North like it’s a mountain
Grab a book at the Dude, or maybe at Dawn Treader
Literati has coffee
And typewriters with letters
Act chic in the Ross garden still sunny in winter
Toast mason jars at Dom’s when the sun is a squinter
Spend a dollar on Ground Cover and help someone out
But check out The Daily for news without doubt
Remember orientation as you don your cap and gown
Think of it gratefully and don’t you dare frown
Theres another thing you really must do
And if you don’t, this day you’ll rue
Take hold of your tassle and move it side to side
While you’re at it tell Schlissel he’s a really great guy
The last thing to do is maybe most important
Remember the block ][v][
And say hello victors
Do the right thing
Shout Harbaugh’s name
As we all come together to cheer for this thing we call
the game, the game, the game
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
Beat OSU!

Space in Asterios Polyp

Will Eisner famously used the term sequential art to describe comics. But isn’t film also sequential? Scott McCloud talks about how film is similar if you look at the film itself, and not when it is projected and played. Film is just a series of images, a comic in slow motion if you will. McCloud notes that the difference between comics and film is the way in which individual images are juxtaposed. The comic is far more voluntary than film is. You are forced to see frame after frame while watching film but with a comic, your eyes can wander. But more importantly, with film, the way in which the images are juxtaposed with one another is through time, the chronology of the images as they get projected onto the screen, one after the other. However, with comics, it is space that juxtaposes one panel with the next.

Did you ever wonder if there was a term for the tiny margin of empty space between panels? No? Well I am going to tell you anyways. It is called the gutter. Not the most appealing name for such an important aspect of comics.

But why am I telling you all this? Why am I stressing the importance of space in comics? Well that is because I ran into one this summer that utilized it in a way that I had never seen before.

Asterios Polyp is a comic written and drawn by David Mazzucchelli. Basically it is a coming of age story about a famed fifty-year-old architect named Asterios Polyp as he seeks self-discovery. To me, it is so very important that he is an architect. Now there are many things to talk about when considering this comic. It’s dense, both in its written content and its visuals. But I want to focus on one mechanic the comic uses over and over again.

At the beginning of each “chapter”, if you will, is not the name of a chapter, but a single  panel that is directly in the center of the page. What is so special about this panel is that, first of all, it is not sequential, and second, the content within the panel is itself isolated elements. Let me provide an example of when this is used.

The very first page, we see inside the lone panel, raindrops – individual raindrops. From this we can assume that it is either raining, or we are possibly looking at drops of water on a window. In a way, the specificity of the image itself is defeated by the fact that it resides in a panel that is isolated from any other visuals. But that is not entirely true, for you can never forget about the white space that surrounds the panel. May I remind you, when you only have one panel on a page, there is a lot of white space. But all that space is directionless and aimless. But Mazzucchelli provides direction in the next page.

We then turn the page over and we see two panels now. One shows the raincloud that is precipitating, then the next one shows that it is raining on a city. We get even more context on the next page where we see a lightning bolt crash to the city below from the rainclouds perspective. Basically, Mazzucchelli keeps zeroing in on the subject at hand, page by page, till we realize that the lightning bolt hit Asterios’ apartment causing it to catch on fire. In the span of six pages, we go from the isolated specificity of the raindrops to the contextual specificity stating that this is where Asterios Polyp lives.

What I think is so genius about the use of that very first panel is that it shows how space can operate at a fundamental level. An element can occupy one space in a vacuum but the next page expands our understanding of that very space by showing how even the most isolated of elements are a part of a greater picture, a greater space.

In the next chapter, Mazzucchelli uses this to show a well-groomed Asterios with a cigarette then proceeds to show the sad, unshaven, and wet face of Asterios right after his apartment caught fire. He uses this over and over again. How fitting for a story about an architect. One that can design all these empty buildings while he himself has nobody to share his space with.
Mazzucchelli uses it once to show a grid of apples that are all drawn differently, only to go to the next page to show various people that are drawn differently, with the narration saying, “What if reality (as perceived) were simply an extension of the self?” This is one of my favorites.

We are all a part of a shared space and whenever we consider something as an exception to this, it becomes inscrutable or more importantly, not what it actually is – completely mutable based upon our own interpretive means. Which, in itself, also alters what the image is talking about, over and over again. For as much as we may convince ourselves of one meaning, we recognize that an isolated image invites countless interpretations. We get lost within our own mind. But when we recognize that there are others within the space with us, we find direction and a sense that our solutions are taking us somewhere, not leaving us stuck in the cyclical nature of an isolated mind.

Fullmetal

The manga starts with Edward questioning what went wrong, calling out for his seemingly missing little brother, yelling that it wasn’t supposed to be like this, and we see that he is missing his left leg. A disembodied text says, “Teachings that do not speak of pain have no meaning…because humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return.”

This scene is the consequence of an action that we have yet to find out. But it is nonetheless gruesome and shocking and raises many questions. First time readers may be wondering about the part of a circle they see Edward’s hands resting on. What is going on?

Hiromu Arakawa, the creator of the manga series does not answer this right away. Instead, the very next panel you see is an objective view of an alleyway in a city, with again, a disembodied voice, but this time, it is preaching about the Sun God Leto and how through prayer and faith, salvation can be achieved. But how does worship compare to what was said on the very first page? It is puzzling to think about, when I have faith in a religion; I gain comfort, an existential shoulder to lean on. So by giving trust, I am allowed to…trust? Arakawa’s refusal to answer the questions raised by the first page right away also suggest that after the consequences depicted in the first page, everything has moved on, presumably, even Edward.
All actions have consequences – action and reaction. While reading Fullmetal Alchemist, it is hard to ignore this fundamental balance that exists in all universes, whether our own or one that is created through fiction. But can we relinquish said consequences? And if we can, how do we do so?

This is where the first volume, no, the first arc of Fullmetal Alchemist really shines. It is brilliantly efficient at creating the characters through which Arakawa will try to answer these questions.

Let’s look at Edward. After the first page, through the duration of the first arc, we get his motivations, history, ideology, his pride, his humor, everything. We find out that his brother, Alphonse, is indeed alive, but exists in an empty suit of armor, we see how much he hates being called short, and we see his skepticism for religion. Yet he states that he and his brother have paid the price for stepping on God’s domain. Edward is undoubtedly full of pride, which is further demonstrated in simple moments like when he introduces himself and Alphonse as being the famous Elric brothers while Alphonse just says that they are alchemists. Alphonse, being an empty suit of armor, is literally a disembodied voice but his is one that is slowly learning, and one that is not professing a self-declared truth.

The state of their bodies is revealed at such a genius moment – when they are fighting for the first time. Edward doesn’t go around showing everyone his prosthetic limbs. Nor does Alphonse take off his helmet and show everyone that there is nobody inside. Instead, only when a chimera lunges at Edward and tries to eat him, does he actually use the metal limb to defend himself.

At the end of the arc, Rose, a girl who was faithful to the Sun God, now finds herself directionless as Edward has revealed to people that the priest was a sham. Edward tells her, coldly, that she needs to move on, that she has a fine pair of legs so she should use them. These two brothers understand the consequences of their past actions. But more importantly, they have moved on.

Let me talk briefly about the next arc, which focuses on a mining town that is under the corrupt rule of a military officer. In the first arc, Edward and Alphonse dismantled a corrupt religious regime but now they must handle a different type of organization. But this is different, whereas the dismantling of the church of Leto caused many people to now exist in a directionless limbo, here, when the Elric brothers save the town, the power is returned back to the miners. It shows, that the Elric brothers truly do stand for justice but it also presents a situation where the results of their actions are perhaps more favorable. As we find out later in the series, the loss of the church of Leto causes that country to fall into war. Every action has consequences, even if you think your actions are just.

The second arc also reveals that the very military that Edward plans to join is corrupt as well. A plot point that is further explored in the last arc in the volume which showcases a train heist that is led by military deserters who have now resorted to terrorism in order to dismantle what they believe is a corrupt military body. It is also by the end of this arc that we are finally introduce to Roy Mustang, who ends the volume by literally creating an explosion out of thin air on the train platform, sending the charging terrorist leader flying away. He also introduces himself as the Flame Alchemist, telling the terrorist to never forget it. You can already tell that there may already be one too many huge egos in this story – cough cough, Edward.

This is only the first volume, so I say with confidence that Fullmetal Alchemist is easily one of the most efficient and complete stories that I have ever read. And when I say that, I am including all storytelling mediums.
I would like to draw more parallels to elements that appear later on in the manga, but I will bow out here so as not to spoil anything. Granted, this series and anime series (I am talking about Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood because that is much more faithful to the original manga series) has been out long enough for the whole spoiler warning rule to be null and void, I will still digress.

This is a manga that is smart, expertly told, filled with compelling characters, while being fun, and never forgetting that it is a manga. I cannot recommend this series enough to those who are still ignorant to the genius of Hiromu Arakawa.

Daily Story Slam and the Wistful Anecdote

Last Friday, the Michigan Daily hosted a ‘Story Slam.’ Students, both Daily writers and non-Daily students, submitted their poems, stories, and essays beforehand, and a dozen were able to share their pieces in front of a newsroom full of people. It was the first ever Daily Story Slam, but it was a definite success.

I’ve always loved hearing the random stories of people I barely know. There’s something fascinating about hearing a brief anecdote from a stranger that you’ll probably never really become friends with. It’s the same kind of fascination I get from reading the short ‘Humans of New York’ posts. Every stranger has a rich life of their own that I’ll never know about, but sometimes hearing just a little can make them feel real.

Most of my favorite stories at the Story Slam had a similar tone: wistful and light, with some laughs along the way, but with a strong emotional center. Sam, a guy I remembered from middle school, shared his story about not being traditionally masculine and sucking at sports, but it ended on a note of simple joy as his friend taught him to throw a football. Michael, a very short guy from the Daily, read an essay about how he’d never minded being short despite society’s insistence that it was a shameful thing. And Will shared a story about his late grandfather, who he’d always felt bad about never being close with. He eventually came to realize, though, that since he was close with his own father, he had more than enough paternal love in his life.

Also surprisingly heartwarming was the story of a girl who found out that her frequent friend with benefits, Alex, was gay. She’d brought Alex to the Story Slam, and as she read about him, it was hilarious to see him laughing and blushing. At the story’s conclusion, she walked back to their spot and hugged him tightly. It was so sweet.

There were serious stories. One girl, an editor of the Daily’s great Michigan in Color, shared some of the societal disadvantages being a black woman, and one guy shared a poem about the young black male’s fear of the police. These were strong, too, and in many ways, they’re the stories that are most important for society to hear. In fact, the story that won the prize at the end of the night was about a girl whose friend was killed in a car accident right after high school graduation.

My friend Matt leaned over to me and commented that it’d been his least favorite story of the night, and I agreed. There was something pretentious about how she began; she prefaced her story with a long intro explaining that it wasn’t going to make us laugh or teach us anything. It was real, and it happened to her, and it sucked, and she would never get over it. It was like the girl wanted to convey this image of herself as the blunt, honest girl who took no shit and didn’t try to milk simplistic lessons out of her own experiences. But really, as personal as the story was, what made it inherently ‘more honest’ than Derek’s rambling tale of accidentally being stabbed with an EpiPen?

I think that I might’ve still liked the story the least even if it hadn’t contained those off-putting elements, though. For me personally, no racially charged tirade, no tragic story of loss (as important as it may be) will carry the same simple power as the wistful anecdote, the story that lures you in with self-deprecating jokes and surprises you with its emotional candor. That’s what I came to Story Slam for, and I left more than satisfied.

Thanks.

You know when you want to thank someone, but you know that nothing that you can say can totally, wholly, and accurately represent the true appreciation and gratitude that you feel inside? It’s that darn dilemma that is similar to the feeling of love, where no matter what words come out, there are about a hundred more that you could pile on top…but you can’t because that would just be a little extreme.

Image via giphy.com

So what can you do?

I recently had an experience that was so much more meaningful to me than I had ever been expecting. As a runner-up for the Current Magazine’s 2015 Fiction and Poetry Contest, I was invited to read my poem live at the Arbor Brewing Company. I’ve done readings before, and as much as I love them, this one didn’t seem like it would be any different. I had been chosen as one out of 40 submissions to read, but on a Wednesday night? Who would come? My mom skipped a book club meeting to accompany me to the bar, and there I saw three of my friends, drenched in rain after the downpour, who had braved the weather and walked across campus to watch me read! They had cut a box out of their schedule that night, wrote in Sharpie “Go to Cammie’s reading,” they thought that this night was special enough to take an hour to not do homework, to not attend club meetings, to cheer for their friend, and that touched me more than they will ever know.

And then the surprise that hit me even more. When my bosses at University Towers (I’m the Community Assistant there) and co-worker walked through the door. I had told them I was performing that night, just making small talk during my shift. But they came, they clapped, they cheered, they celebrated the night with me. To think that they cared enough about me to support me in my achievements that they would spend two hours after a long day at work was unbelievably kind.

It was at that point that I realized that I had done something to be proud of. And for some silly reason, it took all of these wonderful people in my life to remind me to appreciate this success and congratulate myself.

The first thing I did to thank them was to write to each person individually and tell them, as graciously as I could, that I was honored to have them as a friend. Sometimes, to have a written down tangible historical note, rather than a simple vocally-transmitted message, really makes an impact. It’s always great to hear a compliment, but to receive a letter where someone took the time to sit down and think about all the ways that they love you is something that they will be able to hold on to for a very long time.

Image via blog.hiregy.com

So, that’s my advice if you’re looking for ways to show your appreciation for someone: write a thank you note (it doesn’t have to be for any particular occasion – just a “I’m thinking of you and you rock. Here’s why…” type of thing); support them back (if they have an event or show or award presentation, go cheer them on); find little ways of being kind to them (tell them good luck before their exam, ask them about their new house, send them a box of tissues and can of soup if they’re sick – the little things always add up).

Find little pockets of gratitude everywhere you can. You’ll find that you will be a much happier and satisfied person when you can appreciate even the things you don’t know how or who to thank.

Like seeing the first snow fall on red berries! Take a photo – capturing that moment is remembering the beauty, which in turn is a way of remembering to be grateful.

Photo credit: Cammie Finch

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone celebrating. Happy everything to everyone else and have something with cinnamon in it for me!

Write in the comments below: what’s something you’re thankful for?