The Footsteps That Came Before Me

So this summer I had the amazing pleasure of leaving the country for the first time and going to England, where I got to study for five weeks at Oxford University, one of the oldest universities in the world. I haven’t gotten to talk much about my experiences there, since I made a blog but never kept up with it (oops), but I’d like to share something that I started thinking about when I came back to the University of Michigan.

It’s weird, because when I got to Oxford, I knew the history behind it, that there were thousands upon thousands of people that had walked the exact same pathways I did, that lived and breathed Oxford. It seemed like every day I learned something new; President Clinton once smoked weed at the Turf, Lewis Carroll taught here. There’s obviously something magical about walking in the footsteps of those who came before you (although, no, I didn’t smoke weed at the Turf – I just got a pint of cider, as per usual).

I’ve thought about this more, too, as the semester has gone on and I’ve been studying the works of James Joyce, who will forever be imprinted in Irish literary history. I had the chance to go to Dublin – there were some other people that wanted to go too – but I instead chose Paris. And even there, I found the quintessential tourist stop for an English major: Shakespeare and Company, the amazing bookstore that you just have to see to believe.

I found out in my Joyce class that Ulysses, his famous epic, was actually first published through Shakespeare and Company, and I had walked those halls, and I had taken a picture of the mural they have on the wall with James Joyce, proud on the wall. Joyce had gone to Paris and written in Paris a number of times – you could say I made that same pilgrimage.

But as I think about these things, about how these great writers have come before me, how I merely spent not even half my summer at this famed university whereas they devoted themselves to it – I don’t necessarily feel special. Sure, I loved it beyond all measure; this year marks the 100 year anniversary of the publishing of Alice in Wonderland. And it’s astounding that I even got accepted, much less had the money to go over there and spend five weeks essentially frolicking across Europe.

But I didn’t feel particularly magical. I know there are people who spend their time trekking across Dublin to find the spots Joyce mentions in Ulysses, or they go overseas to write because that’s what T.S. Eliot did. But nothing’s going to change if I write my novel here or if I write my novel in Paris, emulating some famous author. He’s not going to come back to life and help me revise those 300 pages, or give me inspiration for my next book.

I don’t mean to be too didactic, but I realized that following art isn’t what makes you any better – it’s doing your own art. By having my own experiences in Europe, I define who I am as me, not as someone else. Of course, that doesn’t mean I won’t go back to Paris and perhaps write there (because I loved Paris. I loved it). But I’ll do it because it’s what I want to do – not because Joyce did it a century earlier.

And if there’s any true moral of the story it’s this: travel, get outside your box, go somewhere. It’s totally worth it.

Wolverine Halloween Creativity

Halloween at the University of Michigan. My favorite time of year. Houses are hopping with cliché Halloween playlists and frats are pulling out the big guns with dry-ice drinks (for anyone 21 and over) and spooky spider webs. Everyone’s on their A-game, excited to show off their more creative sides. And let me tell you, the Wolverines are bursting with creativity. No matter who you are, an athlete, engineer, psychologist, or writing major; you’re probably doing everything you can to one-up your classmate for the best, most creative and inspired Halloween costume for the big night, I mean week, of scares.

One way I like to admire Halloween on campus is to stop by Ragstock, the neighborhood place to go for all things costume related. This year, I needed to grab some last-minute essentials for my costume, so I had the perfect excuse to go. While there, I had the chance to see what Michigan students would be wearing this year. Of course, there were the traditional sexy cops and spaced out hippies, but I was more interested in the people hanging out in the “make-your-own-costume” section. There, I found students gathering vests and boots and face paint galore, not to mention fake blood and teeth, anything metallic, and pirate hook hands. I got excited and started paying attention to all of the potential costumes I would be seeing this weekend.

First, I saw a faux fur vest. At the same moment, someone else saw it and shouted, “it’s perfect for my Macklemore costume!” Then, in line I saw someone else checking out with that very same vest. Another Macklemore? I thought. But I was wrong. This person was buying the vest for his couples costume, and I don’t mean a tribute to Macklemore and Ryan Lewis. In fact, he didn’t need the vest for himself at all. Instead, he was picking it up for his friend. They were going as Parks and Recreation‘s popular duo Jean-Ralphio and Mona-Lisa Saperstein, which, if you ask me, is an absolutely perfect and creative use of a faux fur vest.

Next, I saw someone carrying around a big curly wig from the more psychedelic section of the store, but no fringe or bellbottoms. Turns out, this student was going to be the late, great Bob Ross, the iconic PBS painter we all know and love for his small obsession with trees. What a unique way to use a wig! Another girl picked up a gold body suit and exclaimed, “I’m going to be C3PO!” Someone else grabbed some fake blood and explained to her friend how it would turn her shark leggings into a shark attack.

All of these were great ideas, and I left with the distinct feeling that I needed to find a way to make my costume, an ode to Cleopatra, a little more creative. With this thought in my mind, I found myself listening to every Halloween costume idea I heard around campus. These ideas were largely pun-inspired and equally creative, and I loved every one of them. One girl used a dress slip and taped Freudian terms on it to transform herself into a Freudian slip. Another girl found a hard-hat and jumpsuit and wore a shot glass necklace and earrings to be a “miner in possession.” Someone else was going to go with his significant other as robbers who were “partners in crime.”

Thousands of Halloween costume ideas have been publicized online on places like Buzzfeed and Pinterest, and I know I could look at those for some extravagant and creative costumes, but that doesn’t really matter to me. I don’t really care what those people are wearing this year. Instead, I love to take a stroll through the Diag, stumble into Ragstock, or hit up a costume party. That way, I can appreciate the brilliant minds of my peers, the people I surround myself with every day. They are some truly creative people.

Happy pretending, Wolverines!

Eu Não Quero Voltar Sozinho

A few years ago I stumbled upon a little foreign short film called “Eu Não Quero Voltar Sozinho,” which is Portuguese for “I Don’t Want To Go Back Alone.” It is a coming-of-age story about a young blind man named Leonardo, and is a beautifully done piece about young love. Rather than explain the entire premise and ruin the ending, I’m putting the film here for our readers’ enjoyment:

The story of Leonardo and Gabriel is a story of love and identity that I couldn’t help being captivated by from the moment I saw it. What I love about this film is that, though it has it’s problems, it takes an important step towards greater representation of identities in films. It’s the first story I’ve seen about a young gay man discovering his sexuality who’s lived experience is also influenced by his ability status. Disability is very rarely portrayed in popular culture unless it is a defining characteristic, and to have a blind main character in a film where the focus is not his blindness is really cool. It’s important to point out, however, that this film didn’t go so far as to include a blind actor as the main character, Leonardo, which is a shortfall in representation that is often seen in films today.

If you saw this film and craved more of the story of Leonardo and Gabriel, you are not alone. The film was so popular following it’s release that a full length film based on the original story was created by the director, Daniel Ribeiro. “Eu Não Quero Voltar Sozinho” (The Way He Looks) was released in 2014 and has been nominated for a plethora of independent and LGBT awards, 13 of which it has won. While I cannot in good conscience link video sharing sites for you to watch the film on, I can leave the trailer here for you and inform you that it is in fact available on many sites and suggest that you watch it however you see fit.

Kot’s LA

I am not sure if this is a view shared by many, but season two of True Detective was quite disappointing. Nic Pizzolatto tried to do too many things in the allotted runtime of a season whose story won’t continue in a future season.

But the world provides remedies for disappointment quite quickly, and often, in places that are not too distant from the original fizzled out artistic project.

In this case, I found a comic series from Image that does LA more justice than Pizzolatto did. The comic is called Wolf. Ales Kot, the writer, who is only 29 years old, is already being considered the Grant Morrison of his generation, writes it. This is huge praise, equivalent to some young novelist being compared to Hemmingway in his debut. This is perhaps founded on the fact that Kot has never been one to shy away from psychedelic material whilst exploring resounding philosophical themes and often avoided discussions – like racism. Also, his list of influences include: Raymond Chandler, Dashiell Hammett, James Ellroy, HP Lovecraft, Neil Gaiman, Joan Didion, David Lynch and Joni Mitchell. Makes sense.

Yet, right now, comics that produce first issues like Brian K. Vaughn’s Saga or Rick Remender’s Tokyo Ghost, issues that both hit the ground running, are having the most success. On the other hand, Kot starts his work with an almost disorienting lack of direction. So many concepts are explored in the first issue that it can alienate the reader.

Now here is why I compared Wolf to the second season of True Detective. They are both set in LA and they are both crime noir. That is it. But Wolf approaches the world of LA in a far more enjoyable way.

The story starts with a man in a straightjacket on fire looking at the city while singing Hellhound on My Trail. I won’t say any more to avoid spoilers. Only this, the world he creates is this muted city that lets the reader feel the bubbling machinations in an LA that is, in this fictional reality, filled not only with people, but with myths as well.

I suggest, if you are up for a heady and incredibly interesting comic book read, check out the Czech-born writers newest project, Wolf. Also, take a look at his older stuff, like Material and The Surface.

To NaNoWriMo or Not To NaNoWriMo

The season of NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) is almost upon us. What is NaNoWriMo? It’s a non-profit organization that sets up an annual challenge where starting November 1, participants begin working towards the goal of writing a 50,000-word novel by 11:59 PM on November 30. And sadly, I will not be throwing my gauntlet into the ring.

I took part last year and looked forward to it every night – to get back to the story that was coming to life, film-like, on the computer screen in front of me. I explored the life of three children, growing up in post-Hiroshima Japan, one of the most realist stories I’ve written in quite a while. I found myself caring about these characters more and more, found myself wanting to hear their voices, their fears, to take part in their adventures rather then venture out into the greater world of Ann Arbor and classes and homework.

As senior year in the English and Creative Writing departments draws its cloak over me, I find myself writing so much already that I couldn’t possibly work on a 50,000-word novel right now. I admire all college-age Nano-ers who can find the balance between classes and this writing challenge. But, if Nano-ing is not in your near future, do not fret. It can often be a very brave thing to know your limits and know when to say ‘no.’ The good thing about Nano is that it’s like an annual holiday. It comes every year. If you’re not participating this year, then next year perhaps! No one even has to know if you participate or not. It’s like a secret with yourself. (Though, there is an incredible online community of Nano-ers who are available for support, for ideas, for writing gatherings, etc, for those who enjoy that kind of groupie-ness.)

There has been recent backlash from ignoramuses who think that NaNoWriMo is meant for people to write 50,000 word first-drafts and send it to agents on Dec. 1. This is by no means the purpose of NaNoWriMo. It’s a challenge, a chance to push yourself to write the story that has been cooped in your head, no matter how bad or hyperbolic or boring or flouncy or cheesy or cliche or wonderful the writing. It’s a chance for you to get in touch with your creativity stores, to think through your own beliefs and opinions about society, and project them onto characters who are forced to make decisions and heck, maybe even fight a few ninjas or two. I can’t imagine criticizing anything that encourages storytelling. No matter if you have written a Pulitzer or if you write car manuals, everyone deserves the chance to participate in this challenge.

If you’re lucky, you’ll walk away from NaNo with a “The End” as your words numbered 49,999 and 50,000. But, don’t think of this as “your end.” This is just a draft. The real writing, the revision, hasn’t even begun. And if you want, it doesn’t have to begin. You can write it and on December 1, come out from your writing cave and return to normal life. But, if you believe in your novel, you can make it stronger and keep working on it. To quote Da Vinci, “art is never finished, only abandoned.” But, something abandoned, doesn’t have to stay abandoned. Nor does it only have to be worked on during the month of November. That means that my story, about the three Japanese children, need not fear! I plan to pick it up again and continue the adventuring…just maybe after college settles down.

From one Nano-er to the next, I give this bit of advice to all of you brave writers who I will be living vicariously through this November:

Don’t delete anything. Even if you can’t stand to look at it, just highlight it in black and keep writing. (It creates this cool “blackout poetry” feel to your piece.)

If possible, log in the words while you have the time.  Try and get ahead in the first few days, which will give you flexibility as life and reality catches up to you later on in November.

-Make sure to give yourself breaks. Get up, take a walk, go to a museum, do yoga, paint your toenails, learn how to do headstands. Shake up your brainwaves so the ideas have room to breathe.

-Back up your work. Press Save a lot, become best friends with flash drives. Also, you can save to that whimsical of all things, the all-hailed Cloud.

Take risks. No one else has to see this writing if you don’t want them to. Be daring. Be silly. Add a dragon or two. Write scandalously. Mix the two and include the most scandalous of dragons.

Let yourself be surprised. 

To all my friends who are Nano-ing this year, I wave flags of encouragement and wish you happy writing and delicious snacks that don’t sticky up your fingers so much that prevent you from typing and I hope that you find yourself on the other side of the month, pleasantly surprised with the strength and courage and productivity that you achieved in just 30 autumnal days.

Write on, folks, write on!

Musical Masturbation

Masturbation is a topic that is often avoided in society. Even as discussions about sex are becoming more common and more acceptable, masturbation is still something that people are very uncomfortable talking about. Art becomes a great venue to be able to discuss this topic as it forces us to confront it when witnessed. Pop art is especially powerful as it is much harder to ignore. Pop music forces us to discuss uncomfortable topics because popular music pervades our entire culture. While music is a lot freer with the topic of masturbation, it is still rare and we can see trends of discussion of masturbation and sex in music and relate them to societal changes.

Off the top of my head, I can list four songs that were culturally pervasive and about masturbation. These are “She Bop” by Cyndi Lauper, “Blister in the Sun” by the Violent Femmes, “I Touch Myself” by the Divinyls, and “Feeling Myself” by Nikki Minaj featuring Beyonce (all Linked below). Already we can see a trend with the songs. Three of them ( “She Bop”, “Blister in the Sun”, and “I Touch Myself”) occurring within 8 years of each other and two of them ( “She Bop” and “Blister in the Sun”) coming out within the same year. Why do we see this concentration of masturbation songs in this time period? We can assume this comes from the culture in which they were made. “She Bop” and “Blister in the Sun” came right near the end of the sexual revolution that started in the 60’s. The sexual revolution obviously caused the discussions of sex and masturbation to become more common and less disparaged. So while the conversation of masturbation was still mostly restricted, the sexual revolution signaled to musical artists that they could initiate the conversation without severe repercussions.

“I Touch Myself”, on the other hand, comes after the end of the revolution. This makes sense, but leads us to a question: If the sexual revolution already happened, why didn’t songs about masturbation become more popular? “I Touch Myself” is one of the only culturally pervasive songs about masturbation that came out in the 90’s. We can explain this through the evolution of the music industry in the 90’s. The industry started to see advantage of marketing to large groups of people, mostly teens and preteens. From this new revelation, the music industry greatly shifted to being mostly controlled by “kid-safe” boybands and female megastars. These new artists needed to be family friendly so that they could be marketed to the largest group of consumers possible. Therefore, slowly, sex and masturbation fell out of the discussion of music and was only allowed through allusions and carefully constructed metaphors. Luckily, this ended, the death marked by the heavy popularity of hip hop (where no topic of discussion is off limits) and the want of 90’s sensations to move to more serious music, like Justin Timberlake’s “SexyBack” (also linked below).

Now where does “Feeling Myself” come into play? Well it is of my belief that we are in a new sexual revolution. Discussions about sex and masturbation are now more open than ever. We can see this reflected in the music as well. Discussions of sex in music has exploded since recovering from the sanitization of the 90’s. While the topic of masturbation within lyrics hasn’t recovered as quickly, it is clearly coming back. “Feeling Myself” is especially important as it links masturbation to personal pride and self-fulfillment, unlike “Blister in the Sun” where it is shamed for being an addiction. I believe “Feeling Myself” is the first in a long line of personally sexually liberating hit songs.

She Bop” by Cyndi Lauper

Blister in the Sun” by the Violent Femmes

“I Touch Myself” by the Divinyls

“Feeling Myself” by Nicki Minaj ft. Beyonce

“SexyBack” by Justin Timberlake ft. Timbaland