Something Traditional! Here are my sketches for Lias, both original mode, supermode, and unhinged supermode. You can see me figuring out their hair, bolide logo, and “fat tie” in the first picture. The second pic has me figuring out his supermode outfit, with the black markings and corset-thing. As well as what the unhinged, monster version should look like, all stretched out and dark.
Stay away!
If you’re with the car I’m not gonna ticket it, so I guess you just wanna wait here?
Kelsey Museum of Archaeology, 4:00PM, 3/13/2025
a dangerous thought is the deadliest parasite–once a thought is born, there is no way to kill it; you must live with it, nurture it, grapple with the fact that it came from your own conscience. i used to think the act of forgetting would erase these thoughts from existence, like a child who covers his face in hide-and-seek and declares himself the winner. despite everything, i still believe it’s true: when the time comes, my words will be turned into dust, a trajectory parallel to an event horizon. my last breath will be my first on the other side, a complete unknown, a land where flowers bloom crystals and spiders spin sentences into silk.
I will say, frozen peas, eating them frozen, I don’t know what it is but it just makes it taste better.
West Medical Center, 4:00PM. 2/25/2025
what a terrible curse it is to wield logic in the face of love! to fall back on probability, the ifs and the buts, is to live a fearful life. trust the hand of fate and walk through the veil with confidence. the absolutes overrule the ambivalence: you sit there, petals falling–love me, love me not, love me–each one the product of a hundred bad decisions. tell me, who was there at your lowest? the light and the darkness, in that order. when the sun sets do not forget the pull of the moon on the tides, on the stars, on your soul.
You have to come with me to my physics exam tomorrow… you’re luck, you’re very good luck.
Chem Building, 11:00PM, 3/12/2025
a scent later and i am back in your room and watching the cartoons on the television. a breath later and i am watching your chest rise and fall as you sleep–gentle and graceful, the way a lily leans into sunlight–wanting nothing more than to burrow into the crook of your arm. the water does not heat, the window is missing a tile, the stairs creak in their sleep–this is a misfortune that we must endure. the reward? with your lips on mine, you convince me that luck is a zero-sum game.
Text: “Some might even call me a reverse necromancer!”
Thought bubble: “…A murderer?”
Apologies for the lack of content recently, exams are killing me right now and im just facing artblock in general. But we’re back with skippy and mur and their regularly schedules shenanigans!
Stand Each step that weighs down a soul should be weighed down with happiness and each fall filled with tears of laughter. Get up. Use the 13 muscles of a smile instead of the 47 of a frown. - Sappy
hi everyone (•̀ᴗ•́)و ̑̑ my name is dai / 戴丽 (they/TA) and welcome to my series! i was previously an arts, ink. columnist as a freshman, and have just returned to arts, ink as a (much more experienced) senior. my new series will basically act as a web diary, embodying my weekly wandering thoughts through sketches and ramblings in the hopes that anyone can relate (or at the very least, spark some reflection in a reader or two). i hope that i will keep myself accountable in sitting down and reflecting every week here!
this week’s diary sketch (◡̈ ):
this week’s diary entry（˶′◡‵˶）:
in this week’s entry, i wanted to talk about confidence and self-perception. like many people, i grew up kind of “ugly”, though i didn’t really know it. i finished middle school and most of high school with very little awareness and even less dating experience. it was only when i started college, eager to dive head-first into an exciting pool of new experiences, that i started exploring dating apps, going on blind dates (that always failed), and getting with random strangers on Necto Friday nights. looking back, i was both insecure and brazen in my confidence.
now, as a senior, i feel like i’ve finally developed a stronger sense of self, something achieved only through a painful process of letting go of what used to feel right. i like to think i’ve gained individuality, maturity, and confidence. naturally, that’s come with greater self-awareness of myself and my body. in fact, until a few months ago, i dont think i even really knew what my face or body looked like.
but what’s strange is that now that i’ve gained this awareness, i’ve become more controlling and anxious of myself. even when i’m alone, i find myself constantly evaluating myself from an outside perspective. somewhere during this process of self-discovery, i’ve become more anxious. despite the fact that i’m perceived as more “desirable” than before, i can’t do a lot of the things i did freshman year, like going on blind dates. the idea of putting myself out there gives me a sense of uneasiness, the type that makes you feel like your throat is closing up.
recently, i had a chat with a friend about this. it was past midnight, and we were sitting under the warm, dim kitchen light in my apartment. she quoted Margaret Atwood at me: “you are a woman with a man inside watching a woman. you are your own voyeur.” she had prefaced it with, “i’m sure you already know this quote…” (i nodded yeah, even though i hadn’t). even as someone who’s queer, who does not identify as a woman or seek out men romantically, i find myself relating a lot to that quote. particularly when I present femininely, i catch myself watching from an outside perspective—and in doing so, reaching for some feminine beauty standard, especially in clubbing or dating contexts.
my friend continued by arguing about how sexualization and objectification aren’t the same thing. people are used to being the “subject” in their thoughts. but when they are forced to view themselves from an outside perspective, you suddenly become the object, creating that feeling of uncomfortableness and dissonance with yourself. this sense of objectification is not limited to sexual contexts, but also racial or cultural ones where someone may be depersonalized due to their race or other aspects of their identity.
W.E.B. Dubois has written about the idea of double consciousness, which describes how black Americans experience a “peculiar sensation” of always looking at themselves through the eyes of others, particularly white society, who views them through a lens of racism and marginalization. don’t get me wrong, my experience and privilege as a light-skinned east Asian is very different to that of black Americans. yet, i’ve always related to the feeling of “two-ness” that Dubois described. even as a young child, i was hyperaware of my race and how i was being viewed as a girl and an Asian. because of this, i’ve always felt a conflict between my internal identity as an individual and the external perception of that identity. in response, i would actively counteract the way I believed I was being racially and femininely perceived through my behavior and dress. finding out who i am and which people i want to surround myself by has been incredibly helpful, but i still find myself feeling this way at times.
my own feelings of uncomfortability rises from being perceived in ways that i know differ from my internal identity. the more aware i become of my body and other’s perceptions of me, the more i can cater myself into something stylish, interesting, and charming. at the same time, i become more anxious about my image and feel less like myself.
i wonder if anyone feels something similar. is the real answer not to engage in “self-improvement”, but “self-neutrality”? to yourself and body? how do i be both self-aware and comfortable with external perception? does having a “glow up” really mean you’ve gained confidence or self-acceptance? i don’t know, but i hope this made anyone who reads this reflect. sorry for the excessively long first post, see you next week!
-dai
⊹ ₊ ⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ପ(๑•ᴗ•๑)ଓ ♡˚₊‧⁺ ₊ ⊹
weekly recommendations!!
Sunset over the salt flats of HKC 2901 c coinciding with the rise of its sister planet over the southern mountain ranges. Much of the land is barren on 2901c, sparsely broken by jagged peaks and scrub lands, but the desolation belies a bounty of natural resources. Here, a cargo maglev races across the mirror-like surface, chasing the last glimmer of light.
