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Blank pages are powerful. A blank word processing document, for instance, instills a very different feeling (anxiety, the pressure of things to be done) than does a blank page in a journal or a sketchbook (pristine, awaiting undefined possibilities).  The physicality of paper, of a well-bound stack of fresh paper, has always held an undefinable attraction. It’s the same thing, I suspect, that makes us continue to love physical books despite the practicality of e-readers. We love them because they (in the words of a professor today) “look like books, smell like books, (ruffles pages) like books.”

Somehow, I’ve always harboured a sort of hoarding tendency towards blank journals, notebooks, and more especially so if they were hardcover or boasted unlined pages. I’d be afraid to use the pages, be afraid of besmirching them with things that didn’t actually merit being transferred to nice paper. (I’ve been trying to get over that- I recently splurged on a oddslot Moleskine, very nice indeed, and have been forcing myself to write in it, in pen.) And so every now and then in a fit of determination I’d try my hand at gathering together my own blank pages into little booklets.

Bookbinding turns out to be an art that satisfies such cravings. Rather than a purely methodical process of production, it’s a skilled craft, a flexible craft. There are proper tools, materials, techniques, and I am yet an outsider. But with plain cartridge paper, some cardboard, a bit of glue, and very rudimentary sewing abilities, anyone might be able to gather paper into a bound form, a tangible block of pages, something that you yourself have created, and can now use, and which no-one else has.

Those with more skill can, of course, turn out books that are not only things we’d like to grasp in our own sweaty paws, but that are things to feast one’s eyes upon. And if you’re feeling a bit adventurous, there is a wonderful collection of DIY books here, complete with instructions, collected from users all over the web.

As a Student Docent for UMMA, I have found that there are far too many exciting elements of the museum that are unbeknownst to the student public. Primarily, the DialogTable is among the greatest of hidden gems that the museum holds.

The table is only one of four of its kind, and by using a “pinch” method (you pinch your fingers above the table to signify the image that you want to learn about) you welcome endless learning possibilities. Attached to the images are further information about the object as well as, for certain works, videos that allow for further exploration and evaluation. While at the table one can create their own pool of works, bringing together items of particular interest that immediately gets saved to UMMA’s website, allowing the viewer to curate their own personal collection of favorite works.

The table also allows for “tags,” using key words and phrases to connect different objects together. While the museum groups objects by location of origin and time of creation, the DialogTable allows the viewer to create thematic ties between the works that are far more complex and personalized than a geographic region. For example, a viewer may feel that there is a strong female narrative being woven through various works and can then tag each work with “female”. By doing so, future viewers can see these same links, opening their minds to new and different interpretations.

The purpose of viewing art is undoubtedly personal. Some people go into a museum to lose themselves in their thoughts – allowing endless rumination on not only the art but also life. Museums, in such a way, can act as a great escape. However, there is also vast exploration and intellectual investigation that can be done at a cultural institution with collections as pertinent as those at UMMA. The DialogTable allows those who visitors who want a deeper experience from the museum to not merely explore the collection, but to think creatively and analytically about how the different works at the museum connect, differ and build off one another.

Few fashion trends during the French Revolutionary period were able to create the same reaction as la coiffure à la Titus, a haircut that evoked both amusement and outrage.  Its extreme shortness was purposefully masculine, having been appropriated from an earlier male fashion trend meant to imitate ancient Roman busts.   It was also a style that was considered incredibly natural, standing in contrast to the highly powdered and structured wigs of the ancien regime.  Women who cropped their hair in such a way were aggressively targeted in pamphlets, cultural journals, fashion prints, caricatures, books, and at least one play.  This condemnation was, as one might expect, an overwhelmingly male exercise, with one contemporary critic going as far as to say that the women who wore the Titus were “disfigured.”  Regardless of the deprecation, many prominent women wore the blatantly masculine hairstyle well into the first decade of the 19^th Century, continually amending it to fit changing definitions of femininity.

In 1804 the author of the Toilette des dames ou Encyclopédie de la beauté railed against the Coiffure à la Titus, questioning why women would forsake what was universally regarded as their most beautiful feature and opt instead for bare heads.  This was something typically associated with punishment or shame.  Women’s decision to sacrifice an accepted sign of femininity begged an association with cross-dressing. According to critic Rothe de Nugent in his 1809 Anti-Titus pamphlet, one of the principle aspects of revulsion found in the female Titus was the conflation between male hair and female dress, as though a Roman emperor’s head were on the body of a female.  Worries over cross-dressing, long standing in Western culture, signaled that male authority could be overtaken simply by a woman’s supposition that she was not confined to gendered clothing.  This criticism followed in the tradition as le monde renversé.  Le monde renversé was a common theme created in 16^th century children’s books meant to illustrate basic societal norms and morals through a carnivalesque inversion of hierarchies. One such image shows a woman about to go on a hunt while the husband stays at home with the children. These publications did not generally show cross-dressing, instead the emphasis was on the

reversal of one’s purpose in society, which was made entirely readable through appearance and costume by the time of the French Revolution. This print of the king combing out the queen’s hair bears clear thematic influence from le monde renversé. It not only makes Louis XVI a servant to Marie-Antoinette and a pawn in her own political desires but that her hair had become equal to and interchangeable with the crown, as indicated by the caption “Coeffure pour Couronne”.  Regarding the verdict for Marie Antoinette’s guilt, historian Lynn Hunt wrote “the revelation of the Queen’s true motives and feelings came [above all] from the ability of the people to ‘read’ her body.”  Or, at least, the belief that her body could be read.

The implication of Le Monde Renversé, and bear it in mind that these were meant to be taught from an early age, was that when a human pulls a cart instead of the mule, the world goes crazy.  When children punish their parents, the world goes crazy.  When a woman assumes the visual presence of a man, the world goes crazy. Le Monde Renversé has its origins in medieval carnival culture, where institutions like government and religion were suspended and social roles were inverted, including gender roles.  What made the coiffure à la Titus a problematic image was that it was not on carnival day; it penetrated everyday life.  Ultimately, the coiffure à la Titus failed to establish itself as a style that could be separated from its highly charged connotations of gender dynamics.  Continual compromises with ideals of femininity robbed it of its once shocking starkness, though criticism followed the Titus to the very end.

I think writing is good for an artist. I think language is a great way to communicate ideas about a piece, make difficult work more accessible, and is vital in a relationship between art and the world. It seems rather simple, but it might not be as apparent to people actually involved in artistic work. For instance, to me, time spent writing words is time I could spend doing any number of other things that would relate more explicitly to the craft I’m going to school for. But I’m going through a bit of an artistic crisis where I know neither my medium nor my method, so all of these ideas are getting a bit more jumbled that I had intended. And now I am here writing. And I think I’ve come to one of the best benefits of writing-clarifying ideas for both the world and myself. In a way, I think I need to write a manifesto for myself, as my way of introducing my artistic self to the world and to myself. Its something that numerous people have told me to do, so I think I’m gonna do it. And I think I’m going to use this public forum to do so, and hopefully the results are interesting! But first, I feel like I should share a bit of myself and explain this artistic ‘crisis’ of sorts.

When I was a senior in high school, I went to have a lesson with the wonderful Evan Chambers, the professor I’m studying under now. At the start of the lesson (which was filled with such an enormous amount of incredible advice that I was overwhelmed and have now forgotten most of it) he paused for a minute or two. He was looking over my scores and he turned to me, looked me in the eye, and said “Yes. I think you should be a composer.” I was…well I was very surprised. I had no idea that such a decision was weighing on those few glances at my poorly written music. I was flattered, of course. But I was also very, very surprised. But then I knew that I could be a composer, I knew that I could call myself that.

But now I don’t know what that word means anymore. Or if it applies to me anymore.

I am a composer, yes. I spend time every week writing music. I spend time in rehearsals with musicians that are playing my music and I spend time working with my colleagues in the creation of new music. But more and more I’m writing music that doesn’t fit in with what ‘music’ is. More and more I’m drawn to alternative forms of musical expression or maybe artistic expression.

Recently I’ve been drawn to music that doesn’t follow a linear structure, that finds new ways of thinking about time or architecture, that incorporates spoken word or written word, that explores visualization, or that explores the highly personal and the entirely specific. My work has shifted in a new direction that is not putting notes on a page, but instead working with text, movement, and the oddslot visual. It might not even be music anymore. And so I’ve been drawn to performance. You could call it performance art, alternative theatre, or maybe even dance, but I still like to think of it as music.

Art has exploded in terms of definition and scope in the last century, and I consider myself a proud follower of the avant-garde, the radical, and the new. And it is within that that I am creating my work. But there is so much to define when nothing is definable, so I’d like to take some time on this blog to explore this and explore my own personal ideas when it comes to art. Dear reader, you may not agree with me, and that is okay. I don’t want you to. I want you to push me and I want you to push yourself.

I’m excited to see where this leads me. I hope you are too.

On whole, the movement to diversity in corporate, educational, political, and institutional bodies has increased immensely in the past few decades. After all, we have elected our first black president for a second term in the land of the free, let a Chinese-American basket ball player run headlines for months, and decreased the contempt toward affirmative action.

And yet, why is it that discrimination against those of other races is integrated into the way people perceive others, despite their overt openness and even push toward cultural diversity?

In a recent Chinese-speaking practice session with a native Chinese speaker from Taiwan, studying literature in the school of education, I realized the inherent judgment I held from the moment I met her.  I had so quickly stereotyped her as a socially incompetent, not so smart, small awkward Asian female; a profile that I have tried so hard my whole life to separate from.  She was quiet, had broken English, and led to me to the room with another white female where I assumed would be a perfectly nice, and slightly awkward, hour and a half.

However once the gate was open to her native language of mandarin, with idioms she could use ad sarcasm at her disposal, her personality bloomed. She was so personable, funny, outgoing, and intelligent.   She was well travelled, participated in philanthropic education events in countries I had only dreamed of, and was studying classical Chinese literature at a Masters level. I loved her company and completely forgot the preconceived notions I had about her “social incompetence.” If anything, I was the one who was inept and unable to communicate. While I tried to show my slightly extroverted personality, explaining what I meant in detail and color became increasingly difficult. Frustrated, I began to withdraw from the conversation for fear of embarrassment that I couldn’t express myself properly.  I became quieter, until

finally I seemed unintelligent and unable to communicate properly, awkward because I didn’t know how to properly enter the conversation, and instead focused on the piece of paper in front of me.  This retroversion to a much quieter state is against my natural state, and was caused by a mere language barrier.

Too often do we judge others intelligence and personality types because of language barriers.   Regardless of what true personality types may be, barriers to expression and embarrassment from them result in awkward encounters where people leave themselves vulnerable to judgment, and then withdraw entirely from uncomfortable social situations.  As a result, cultural groups form so that they can relate and be their true selves, and express themselves in the way they most comfortable. This results in a cyclical pattern where similar and comfortable people find each other, avoid those that are “awkward” based on preconceived and invalidated notions, and form further judgment of others because of cultural seclusion.

With regard to my personal observation, minority persons who defy their cultural stereotypes are the most critical of their less culturally integrated counterparts, and actually denounce those who haven’t adapted to American Culture.   It’s the perception of being accepted as a “true American,” without any of the negative connotations that come with the stereotypes that are rewarded and reinforce the built-in discrimination today.

While we want those of other cultures in our work environments and admitted to our schools, I think it’s time for us to push further, open our social circles, and discover the true personalities of those who we may have judged and passed on.  We need to eliminate the integrated modern-day racism that we don’t even recognize, and allow ourselves to break the next frontier in racial equality.  Discomfort may arrive and we may not be used to cultural differences or interacting with people who don’t understand the latest Girls reference you made, but it is the discomfort and push outside of a comfort zone that leads to improvement and change.    The discrepancy between what many so strongly believe in, social and racial equality, and how they act, unintended racial discrimination, is something that I don’t believe I stand alone in.   However, through recognition and resolve we can change the way we think, and make many new friends.