Reminder

jbaz Leave a comment

“If you are grateful for where you are, then you have to respect the road that got you there.” A friend showed this quote to me, and I don’t have the original reference.

Especially in college, the majority of us feel like we are wandering through life, mapping out where we want to go, but this journey often seems aimless. We may riddle our thoughts with what ifs and I should haves which only harbor uncertainties about our choices. We worry that changes to our past would have been led us to something that “feels right.” This is dangerous thinking, mostly futile actually…since there is nothing you can do to change the past. They are also a little foolish because you are at the University of Michigan! Whatever road you took got you HERE! That’s something to be grateful for. Instead of second guessing, remember where you are. Dismiss regret and move forward. You learned something on your road, so take that knowledge to your next destination.

King Princess: The New Era of Music

vle Leave a comment

Image result for king princess

If you listen to pop music, you’ve probably heard of King Princess. The 19 year old pop artist, born Mikaela Straus, has skyrocketed to celebrity within the past year. Her fans adore her for her lyrical and deep songs featuring themes of love, queerness, and identity. She grew up in the studio in Brooklyn, learning music from her sound engineer dad, and now lives in LA. King Princess signed with Mark Ronson’s Zelig Records as his first artist on the Columbia imprint label.

King Princess herself is known for being transparent, which is rare among famous people–she is straightforward in terms of her gay sexuality and being genderqueer, thus calling to attention the importance of representation. Although she only has a handful of songs, they are carefully crafted, crooning melodic odes to love and loneliness in the modern era. King Princess’ musical talent is shown through instrumental elements, as well as her eccentric eye. Clare Gillen directs her music videos, each with a particular unique theme.

“1950” was the first single that boomed among top charts. In it, King Princess pays tribute to LGBTQ people throughout history who have had to hide their sexualities and self-expression. Most recently, she has released “Pussy is God,” a straightforwardly explicit anthem celebrating female anatomy. There are no hidden gimmicks or double meanings; the song co-written with her girlfriend, actress Amandla Stenberg, expresses love for their partner’s beauty in a funky tune.

King Princess represents a new generation of pop artists: those unafraid to be completely themselves and speak up for what they believe in. She has already garnered millions of fans and will continue to do so, hopefully inspiring young people everywhere to be authentic to themselves and unabashedly honest.

Take a Break for Art During Finals

Elizabeth S Leave a comment

Final exams. The dreadful words are enough to send college students everywhere into a state of distress. While in high school, the period between Thanksgiving and Christmas often meant holiday decorations, festive food, and snow days. In college, however, this period of time is typically chaotic, with the end of classes yielding a pile of final essays, tests, and projects. With sleep deprivation and increasing stress, you may be left feeling overwhelmed. During a time that can be physically, emotionally, and mentally taxing, it’s important to remember to take care of yourself. One way to do so? Take a break for art. Here are a few ideas for managing college life pressures:

  1. Listen to some of your favorite music.

Music can have a huge impact on your mood and emotions. Upbeat music can set an energetic and positive tone, while music with a slower tempo can be calming and used for relaxation. Plan periodic breaks when studying and take a few moments to listen to your favorite tunes to destress.

  1. Write a thank you note.

Focusing on thoughts of gratitude can help put you in a positive mindset, and writing a card or letter is an excellent way to express appreciation for someone’s help. Thank a friend or parent for their support throughout the semester. Maybe even thank a professor who has had an impact on you (though consider the best time to give it to them).

  1. Draw or paint a picture.

Regardless of how “good” or “bad” you may be, drawing and painting can be good ways to reduce stress. Drawing and painting hold some of the benefits of meditation, and when you’re finished being engrossed in your art, you might have a more focused mindset to tackle your schoolwork or other problems.

  1. Jot down your thoughts, stresses, or ideas.

Consider taking a pen to paper in documenting goals, daily events, or feelings. If you feel guilty about taking time away from studying, make a list of what needs to be accomplished and use it as a to-do list.

  1. Color.

While the adult coloring book trend seems to have dwindled in the past few years, coloring is still a great relaxation activity. Coloring involves both logic and creativity. It can provide a distraction from stress and be a form of meditation for some people.

  1. Rearrange or clean your room.

Tired of your usual environment? Consider rearranging some furniture, getting rid of old things, or adding new decorations (with permission from your roommate, of course). Put up positive affirmations, photos, or artwork to contribute to a comfortable atmosphere. Cleaning can be a way take your mind off of schoolwork while still being productive, while rearranging can appeal to your more creative side.

  1. Play around with playdough.

Grab some clay from the store or make your own playdough for an emotional outlet. The squishy, malleable dough is a highly sensory medium that can be used for unleashing tension. For additional stress relief, you can add essential oils for some aromatherapy.

These are just some of many simple endeavors that could provide relaxation during a very stressful time. Whether it’s artistic or not, consider taking a break from studying once in awhile to recoup and destress.

The Christmas Rom Com

Jordan Brown 1 Comment

During the holiday season it seems like the only things on television are Christmas related.  Every other channel is running a Christmas movie marathon with all of the classics like Elf, Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer, and Home Alone.  There are so many Christmas movies that there are genres within the genre of Christmas movie. One of the most popular genre is Christmas rom coms.

Christmas rom coms are very similar to normal rom coms.  With a plot consisting of two people meeting, waiting a while to get together, a big twist and they break up, and then a big gesture at the end so they end up together.  But Christmas rom coms have their own set of tropes that are different from other rom coms throughout the year. An example of this is that in order for them to be together they both have to be really into Christmas, and if one of them is not they will learn to love it by the end of the movie.  Snowstorms keeping someone in a small town in another classic trope that makes the two main characters stay together and then fall in love.

Some classic Christmas rom coms are “Love Actually”, “The Holiday”, and “Four Christmases”.  All of these movies are constantly playing on TV. The most popular of the three is “Love Actually”.  The movie is different from other rom coms because it follows more than one couple throughout the movie, it has 4 different story lines instead of just one.  But each storyline still follows that same general arc as a typical Christmas rom com.

Netflix has been making more rom coms in the past year, and this includes Christmas rom coms.  The most popular Netflix rom com is called “The Christmas Prince” and it follows one of the typical rom com stories of a normal girl falling in love with a man who turns out to be a prince.  “The Christmas Prince” was such a big hit on Netflix that they have now made a sequel this year. Other Christmas rom coms on Netflix are “The Princess Switch” starring Vanessa Hudgens, and “Christmas Inheritance”.  These are only movies that are made by Netflix, you can also watch other Christmas rom coms on Netflix as well.

Christmas rom coms is a feel good movie genre that is meant to put people in the holiday spirit.  Everyone in all of the movies are extremely kind and they always give to others, something that not everyone does in the real world.

Stop Romanticizing Mr. Darcy From Pride & Prejudice

Fareah Fysudeen 4 Comments

Pride and Prejudice is perhaps one of the most beloved period pieces in pop culture today (see: Pride and Prejudice Zombies) and its main male character and brooding, mysterious, and misunderstood hero, Mr. Darcy, held as the seminole romantic interest in literature. I love this book and movie for many reasons and think it’s perhaps one of the greatest contributions to the English literary canon, but I can’t say that any of them is due to any possible romantic swooning caused by Mr. Darcy. I don’t think he’s a very swoon-worthy romantic hero at all. Mr. Darcy is flawed, still arrogant, and prideful, though his love for Elizabeth outweighs his faults in the end. Here are a few reasons why Mr. Darcy is not swoon-worthy:

There are many instances in which he is not only perceived by Elizabeth as being disagreeable, but actually seems to be quite an insolent and insensitive person. Darcy first comes off as being pompous when Mr. Bingley asks him to dance and suggests Elizabeth as being suitable, to which Darcy responds, “She is tolerable, but not handsome enough to tempt me”– which, of course suggests that he thinks of himself highly enough to deserve a woman of some elevated standard of beauty. This remark takes place within earshot of Elizabeth– a fact which I’m sure Darcy is fully aware of, because he had to physically turn around, meet her eye, and then exclaim it. This makes the encounter all the more provocative, as it suggests that Darcy was in a high enough standing that he didn’t care if Elizabeth heard him insult her or not. This whole situation takes place before the characters really even know each other and without fully developed motivations toward one another; thus, this is good indication that this is Darcy at his purest state: insensitive, and privileged enough to not have to hide it.

When Darcy does slowly develop feelings for Elizabeth, he is ashamed of himself and even disbelieving in his sinking so low. He justifies himself poorly: “Could you expect me to rejoice in the inferiority of your connections?—to congratulate myself on the hope of relations, whose condition in life is so decidedly beneath my own?” What a hero! For loving her despite her decided inferiority! For admiring her without withholding his offense to her family and connections! Darcy, in this part of the book, is still quite fixed in seeing Elizabeth as being far beneath him; his pride is not so much decreased by his love for Elizabeth so much as it does coexist with it.

By the end of the book, Darcy is no different. There is no indication of his perspectives on class actually shifting. Darcy himself changes very little– it is only our perception of Darcy which changes, making it seem as though he has had a dramatic character arc. In reality, it is our initial biases which have been proven wrong (and by “our”, I mean both Elizabeth and the audience). This is perhaps the brilliance of the novel as a whole– without ever fully changing Mr. Darcy, Austen creates the illusion of change by entirely altering our perception of his character.

Despite all these flaws, I do find Darcy to be a compelling and exciting character– I just don’t think he’s quite as romantic as we cut him out to be. It’s important to recognize that he came from an extremely classicist society and retained his pride in his social station throughout the entire book. He has some very promising qualities– he loves those that are close to him, is extremely loyal, helps his friends at the drop of a hat. But to romanticize him, I think, is a gross misinterpretation of the book.

Low Key Networking

sarahshu Leave a comment

There isn’t an actual academic term for ‘low key networking’. I just coined it myself.

Self-coined-definition of Low Key Networking: forming connections between people; getting them to have an inclination of hanging out with you whilst maintaining a certain amount of respectable or friendly distance; friends/acquaintances feel comfortable in indulging you with their wishes/memories/troubles to you; (this definition can be expanded upon)

This isn’t a how-to. Its more of an explanation for how certain people make friends/connections easily. Its a slow, effortful journey that eventually becomes almost effortless and comes with ease. The most essential part of it is being genuine and sincere in getting to know people, be it friends, colleagues or family.

  1. It starts with the small talk: any friendship begins with the awkward moments you spend grabbing drinks, talking about the weather and how finals are lurking around and such. Personally, I think small talks are fine as long as you selectively small talk with some people (especially new acquaintances) and to understand the balance of small talk and serious talks.
  2. Ask them about their lives: this works like a charm every time. If you’re not much of a small talker you can do this and just listen. People love talking about themselves. Comment on something you noticed about them, from what you’ve noticed they like to the stickers on their laptops. People genuinely like it when you notice something that may not be obvious at first glance. They also take an interest in you afterwards, and they may unconsciously bookmark you in their minds. This is important for later, when you need help and you know you can lean on these connections when you need help/advice you may not have expertise on.
  3. Be sincere: no one likes superficial friends. People can tell when you want something from them, especially if its a favor, money or gains to a position of power. When people do this to me, I straight up ask if they want something from me, because I dislike seeing them trying to see them trying to convince me, or ‘win’ me over if you will. I’d rather help them out sincerely if I sense that they need help. As for close friends, I’m always there for them. I also never disclose my circle of close friends to new friends, in case they think they may be able to gain connections from being close to me. In short, people value unconditional genuine friendships in which both gain deeper connections from hanging out with each other.
  4. Small favors: Ask for small favors from people you want to get closer to. Or do them small favors. This can be from grabbing coffee or helping out with homework. Even handing out a pen when they don’t have one works. Don’t try to over-do it though, because you may come off as trying to impress them just to gain something. Reiteration: be genuine, not fake.
  5. Balance attention: this is tricky but if you’re at big events and a lot of people are trying to talk to you, you have to know how to personally attend to all of them whilst not ignoring others. This skill is something that needs a lot of practice.
  6. Be sincere: Do. Not. Be. Fake. (trust me some people don’t get this memo)
  7. Know yourself: not everyone is intuitive in networking. Understand how you can gain personal connections by knowing what kind of person you are. This is another problem most people encounter, since they don’t understand themselves really well, they do not know how they can improve the way they present themselves, by utilizing their strengths and improving on weaknesses. Thus, they come off as trying too hard or pretending to be something they are not.

My personal take: Gaining friends is easy. However, maintaining a somewhat deep relationship with new-ish friends is harder and requires a decent amount of effort. Rule of thumb is however to be always sincere because people repel from you once they feel like you’re trying too hard. Again, there are no hard or fast rules in general, everything about making friends and networking is intuitive and understanding the aura, vibes and atmosphere you get from the space.

A great read on a relevant topic: “The Tipping Point” by Malcolm Gladwell, find the term ‘Connector’. A connector generally means a person/friend/acquaintance you know who connects you to various other people, an essential person in our social circle(s). Connectors know a lot of people and they genuinely maintain these friendships as well as introduce people to others in their social circle. I self-identify as a partial connector, I only connect people if I deem it mutually beneficial for both of them.

(Image credits: Wall Street Journal)