Tag: photo

Evolving Emotions: Never Quite Right

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A strange place

The table isn’t quite situated

On the once whole tiling

Proper is the word

 

The smell that once greeted me

Feels out of place

Inside my lungs, it is a stranger

 

What has become of

The inhabitants

Which I thought I knew?

 

Nothing could’ve prepared

My mind, my body

For this upheaval 

 

Guttural

Inconceivable

Quaking

 

In the now fractured life

I stubbornly live

My arms crave a rope

My feet, solid ground 

Unsatisfied is the word

 

This bizarre, unsatisfying abode

Which I once called home

Is now alien

With a peculiar look

And paint laced with difference 

 

Will things return

To the gaps in my head?

 

Will I find peace

And solace in the disruption?

 

Nothing will take its original form

The form has shifted

The feeling has shifted 

 

My perception has crossed

Into a foreign land

 

Unbeknownst to me

This is only the beginning 

 

Evolving Emotions: Counterfeit Consciousness

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Smiling faces inundate my view

Their cheer attempts to breach my brain

Hammering away at the worry

The fears

The anxiety

To no avail

 

Laughter fills the air

These lungs of mine force

The artificial happiness sweeps from my breath

Choking on insincerity

 

The sight of fresh and falling snow

Brings enthusiasm to the limbs

Mine mimic

In an awkward sort of way

 

Inside a bubble

Apart from others

Left with the thoughts

That consume me

Waking and sleeping

Smiling and laughing

 

I’m crying now

Real

Raw

Instinctual

 

Yet the worries never cease

The jerking movements

The false air

The smeared smile

 

Faking in the pursuit

Of realness

Indeed.

 

Evolving Emotions: Thankful

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The comfort in knowing

All is well

And will be well

 

The security felt

When a sound

Divulges its character

 

The overwhelming joy that

Echoes through the room

At a ridiculous story

 

The calm you keep

Close to the chest

Knowing your needs are met

 

The common conversations

That you simply

Must absorb in your mind

 

The familiar scent

Of a home

So loved

 

you get in the car

your glance rips

from familiarity

each mile

unnaturally separating

 

The love

The struggle

The pain

The growth

The peace

 

The memories you crafted fade

As the path ahead expands

You know you must

Commence

 

You tremble

But trek onwards

Hoping for greatness

Cautioned towards aversiveness

 

No easier to swallow

The tears well up

As you are reminded of what you had

 

Friends

Remembrances

Home

Family

 

Even so,

Being apart

Shows how well off

You were

And still are

 

They have given you this gift

To separate from the world they made

 

And form a new one.

 

Evolving Emotions: Last Glow

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I saw the stars this morning

The sun had not yet climbed the shingled roofs

Nor surmounted the plumes of smoke

Produced by the slumbering city

 

Each a fleck of twinkling perfection

My eyes gleamed alongside them

In a vast gift

A sight to behold

 

These gems of the sky are deceptive

They hide their torment

The destruction that defines their state

They are dead and dying.

 

That which is beautiful

Is temporary

Breathe in the expanse

The comforting peace

This quiet morning

 

For it is not forever

Although we wish it to be

There will be a last

Air leaves the lungs

Carrying the soul in its glow

 

These precious stars shine

Despite their fate

Despite their circumstance

 

Do not grieve

Let the feeling linger

Let the light bathe you

 

Do not taint it with sadness

For it happened

It was wonderful

 

I saw the stars this morning

And it was wonderful.

This was taken on a camping trip with friends a few years ago. It was a moment of pure joy.

Evolving Emotions: Forevermore

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I feel your presence beside me

On the frigid, unforgiving Earth

On the lonely wooden park bench

On the gentle bed we shared

 

I hear your voice 

In the corridor you passed

In the kitchen you cherished

In the doorway to our home

 

I smell you in all that is beautiful

A hint of lavender in someone’s hair

A box of oranges sold at the market

A loaf of bread I find at the bakery

 

I surmise that I’ve see you

Maybe?

Maybe not. 

Perhaps it is madness

 

It’s hard to discern

The wishes and whims

The truth and sacred lies

 

Perhaps, I witness what I was too blind to see yesterday

No matter

 

Alas,

We are apart

But soon

We will feel each other’s warmth

In a plane unlike this one

 

My joy

My love

My apparition forevermore