Falling from Floating
have you ever had a dream
lasting only a second
waking in a cold sweat
wide-eyed panic
falling into something
letting go, just existing
in a moment
the feeling, so terrifying
you’re woken
by a mind, rigid
refusing to loosen
the comfortable grip
that keeps you grounded
not floating
and you can’t help but wonder
would you have fallen
if you weren’t afraid
Narcissus circa 2024
I loved someone
so deceptively tangible
so close, almost touching
our breath intermingling
between pauses and thought
I try to survive
the pain in my chest
the aching empty cavity
I loved someone
so deeply
so closely
it killed me
Please reach out if you or someone you know is in immediate danger or experiencing suicidal thoughts. You are not alone.
911
988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline
CAPS After Hours Urgent Support: 734-764-8312
UM Psychiatric Emergency Services: 734.996.4747
UM Sexual Assault Prevention and Awareness: 734.936.3333
Department of Public Safety and Security: 734.763.1131
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1.800.273.TALK (1.800.273.8255)
The Trevor Lifeline: 1.866.488.7386
Crisis Text Line: 741741
I am yours and we are dancing
we levitate on Neptune
across its frozen oceans
dancing beneath stars
that burst into jewels
clinging to your dress, twirling,
forming moons from nothing
and comets at your fingertips
you glide along the sky
so beautiful I find myself
adrift in your orbit
that pulls me whichever way
you will it
and I will find Saturn
to gift you his rings
but you deserve much more
and I will give you everything
because you give me love
like cosmic fireworks
In the garden
I searched for a flower
that reminded me of you
aster
begonias
carnations
chrysanthemums
cosmos
dahlias
daisies
hydrangeas
irises
lavender
lilacs
lilies
lotus
marigolds
orchids
peonies
poppies
roses
sunflowers
tulips
zinnias
but none were quite right
because I remember you said
you don’t like flowers
Beautiful
smoke stacking into stairs
billowing between the sun and the earth
star-bound and suffocating
with burning in the backs of throats
and tears in the eyes
not from memory or sunken phrases
but from particulates
and particular toxins
that stack so subtly
borrowing blue air
in an innocent display
that isn’t so innocent
the longer you linger
in the space between the sun and the earth
compelled to watch
the world dissolve
your body erode
in the beauty of it all
Friday on State
images of old America
glitter in Hollywood
rock bands roiling
and German beer (not so German anymore)
with patriotism and Ann Arbor trees
bright green walls, newly renovated
plants at the window (could be fake)
boba and straw in hesitant hands
your friend tells you it isn’t very good
but insists you drink it anyway
and anyway isn’t so bad, right?
