The First of Many Love Poems We should make love in a bed of ticklish holly and narcissus; that way our child will be joyful -ly lacking your lack of self-esteem. I wish you could see how I see you, especially with my rosy forget-me- not tinted irises. That way you’ll know our time together has & will always grow eternally, though our bodies age annually. - Sappy
Is a flower still a flower if it can’t bloom? If you are that seed sown with doubt & feel that you don’t belong, perhaps you’re a rose in a tulip garden. & if you can’t bloom as they bud with frustration, know that when the tulips wither, you alone will stand tall. - Sappy
Ruler
your posture needs
bone cracking
joint yanking
vertebrate tugging
fixing
nobody will take you
your words
seriously
without a ruler
against your spine
become a tower
burn the bridge
extend your praise to the heavens
for height and highness
stretch past self-obsession
and paused glances
breathe
in the world you call yours
Content warning: Suicide
Dying Ritual
Put on shoes—your best ones–or regular ones; tie them tight for white toes and pink ankles; start walking; walk with purpose, on a time crunch to nowhere; cross the street; watch for cars; don’t trip; remember not to trip; not tripping is important; round the corner at the stop sign; there’s a bird on a wire; don’t stare because that would be rude; keep walking; another turn; do you remember where you’re going; reach the gate; bend your spine; duck beneath; don’t let a car snag your side; up the elevator; press down; top floor; wait a moment; think of nothing in particular; wait some more; the doors shutter open; step onto the roof; find the courage; take a step; remember your shoes are tied; take another step; look at a bird, which could be the old one but isn’t; take a large step; how would one know if it is the same bird; take a larger one; step step step onto the ledge; is anybody watching; watch the bird that hasn’t budged; move an inch, a couple more; how many centimeters is an inch; the wind is cold; breathe a breath; make it good; don’t go slowly; say a prayer; don’t go slowly; don’t look down; but do; should you look down; is that what people do; look down and fall—or don’t; you’ll see it through tomorrow.
PMS Pardon my speech. As a poor, malfunctioning soul, pleasantries might not suffice as I pacify this major s*** of a time. Pre-menstrual symptoms popularly include munchies-- pizza and milk-chocolate-coated strawberries. Problematically, my sanity is progressively missing, so please my satiations and perhaps I might sincerely produce my pretty smile. - Sappy
Content warning: Obsessive compulsive behavior, gore
Washing Ritual
Close the door; lock it for privacy; check again, for privacy; remember to breathe; turn the faucet; let the water pour pour pour into the basin; watch the steam build up; pump the soap; press down one, two, three; like a cloud; scrub the palms and the wrists; the palms again; get the fingers: three, four, five; the frog webs or minor syndactyly—it must be one of the two: three, four, five; dig in the groves and under the fingernails that don’t have dirt under them but maybe they do, they always could: one, two, three, four, five; move to the left hand; one, two, three, four, five; one, two, three, four, five; one, two, three, four—the water should be scalding, just enough to blister, but not enough to regret; scrub hard, scrub very hard; scrape at the holes and the raw patches; rub away the fine lines, the creases, the folds in the flesh; keep going; the blisters will go away in an hour or two—maybe three; another pump: one, two, three; again—the right hand; the left hand; keep going; don’t stop; it burns because it’s working
