I will write a poem without pain
Despite crying disdain for inflicting it’s stain
Or feeling its sting while afflicted by shame
Day by day seeping into a daze
My suffering is minimal in many ways
If one is worse I should be able
To lift myself from this haze
I will write a poem without pain
Dancing lazily in the game
For I am not living this life in vain
I have songs in my head
That remind me of dark nights
Watching the street lights dance
Feeling safe enough to fall asleep
“Your face will be the reason I smile”
Warmth in the cold
On a long drive back home
-After Maxwell
I held you tightly so you covered my eyes
Blindside me from the sight of your voice
Lips moving softly as I tremble at their sound
I wanted you
Wrapped your head in my arms held it to my stomach
Cried while watching you smile-
We are posed
Here standing in levels
But I am still underneath you
Pulsing to the breath of your touch
Loudly to the sound of your name
Is naming me small diminishing my power
Am I wrong to be flattered
You’ve done nothing
I don’t think
You don’t deserve scrutiny or skepticism but
I’m searching for someone in me to tell me if myself is with you
If when we speak we are on the same page
If the lines of possibilities that scroll through my head
Match anything that lies in yours
Why must the numbness set in?
Amidst the bountiful wreaths
The warm greetings
And a fireplace to match
Creeping into my mind
Infiltrating my thoughts
Manipulating my chest
Bleeding from my mouth
The eyes dull
The limbs lose concentration
The body stills
A blankness overwhelms
Focus settles
On the gleaming whiteness
Of the open air
Crispness envelops
The winter scene
Of snowy scapes
And a body on its surface
An icy chill works its way into the soul
There is no struggle
No escape
The bitter cold sets in
Solidifying the monstrous mind within
No matter.
Why?
As the children make angels in the snow,
The families rejoice in melodious activity,
And the merriment of all relaxes the world,
Am I here
On this Earth
Without a joy in my heart?
No matter.
