Coping III

Some are invited with feelings embedded 

Seething listless while lusting for the same

We tangle ourselves to help us quell

The fleshless emptiness of our bodies

Stirring endlessly in vain to find something 

Something that will mask the pain

I wonder how many mantras I’ll chant

Before my brain is heeled and you’re gone 

Yearning

I want to sit and contemplate the significance behind a movie 

Watch for detail and picture design 

Why they chose red hues and blue lights 

Over white 

I want to feel his touch caressing my back 

Lips on mine 

I want to play games

Get 5 in a row 

Reach 2048 

Stack towers run through temples break rocks 

Walk my dog 

Look at the sunset 

Travel the world 

Contemplate what has been 

It’s easier 

Than talking 

Than listening 

Than learning

It’s so much easier 

Coping couplets

 

I will write a poem without pain

Despite crying disdain for inflicting it’s stain

 

Or feeling its sting while afflicted by shame

Day by day seeping into a daze

 

My suffering is minimal in many ways

If one is worse I should be able 

 

To lift myself from this haze

I will write a poem without pain

 

Dancing lazily in the game

For I am not living this life in vain

Work/life

How I loathe thee let me count the ways

Making me twist and turn manipulated and phased

Silence, I’ll reward myself 

Stillness will provide some help

Insulated with useless conniption

Constantly contracting to your systems

One of these days I will conform 

Say goodbye to dreaming willingly condemning

Myself and my health to shame 

Wishing potently and lost 

So much that I forget my name

Living

Why are we afraid of sadness

We masquerade happiness because 

Sadness isn’t pretty isn’t satisfying 

We celebrate some kinds of suffering 

In violent films, horror, doom scrolling

The chemicals in our brain that react 

To fear and comedy are very similar 

If I tell myself to be happy will I be

If I am happy what am I telling myself?

 

Thoughts I shouldn’t say

We are all searching for ways to be happy 

In a world that fosters disappointment 

We are actors in our own suffering 

Silently playing the parts assigned to us

Choosing security over excitement 

Pain over passion

It’s not good for your mind to go to that place 

The further you go the harder it is to come out

The more you say the less you’ll wish to know

But life is a gift 

Because our bodies resist the urge to die