The New That’s What She Said

Ah, the sexual innuendo. Comedy at it’s best. Simultaneously low-hanging fruit and a playground for elaboration and weird twists and turns. Just this past Friday ComCo ended their improv show with some downright dirty “I like my men like I like my…” jokes – not only a refreshing departure from jokes about women (been there, done that), but a great way to compare men to clocks. Those dongs though.

The best token innuendo to carry around in your pocket in recent years has been the well-renowned and oft-overused “that’s what she said,” the catchphrase of one Michael Scott, manager of Dunder Mifflin’s Scranton office. I would give you some examples of this timing-reliant joke, but it might be better to show you one of the best scenes in which it is used:

Though the fad of the “that’s what she said” has passed, it is still one of the classic meme’s of our generation, and a safety net to fall back on when in a war of wit and out of retorts.  As generally happens, though, there is a new kid in town, thanks to a very special detective from Brooklyn Nine-Nine.

Detective Jake Peralta will never pass up the opportunity to turn a relatively innocent comment into a slight about one’s sex life, and as a result has developed a pair of spectacular comebacks. “That’s the name of your sex tape” and “That was your nickname in high school” might seem innocuous enough on first glance, but timed right and land hard. Here are a few examples of titles/nicknames, because there isn’t a good montage online:

“Kind, sober, and fully dressed.”
“It’s not your fault, I was terrible.”
“I’m terrible at this, when can we stop.”
“But seriously, what is taking so long?”
“I’m sorry about tonight!”
“It was slightly less unbearable with you.”
“Not even going to touch that.”

These jokes haven’t quite caught on yet, but I imagine that their day is right around the corner. In a country where we turn everything into sex, we might as well enjoy ourselves while we do it, which is why I carry these two quips around with me, waiting for just the right moment to pull them out. Until they set their roots in pop culture, I know I will get more than a few confused looks, but it’s worth the last laugh.

Now, about the Aristocrats…