Month: December 2018

At Kuala Lumpur International Airport, I said my goodbyes to my parents, my 2 sisters plus the adorable boy toddler version of me. The genuine tears were shed for my siblings, for the hilarious moments we shared doing silly things. I was eager to go back to Ann Arbor. Being home was okay but I needed to go back to my other home. After 2 months of catching up with friends and family, I was ready to return to Ann Arbor to be left alone. I knew my family would miss me, terribly so, but I needed the distance for me to process everything that happened over summer break. No more nosy questions from nosy relatives, no more ‘so when are you going to find a partner’, no more ‘you need to do abcdefg before you graduate’.  No more unsolicited opinions from relatives who dispense it like they have the whole picture. Farewell nosy questions and unsolicited opinions. Farewell, indeed.

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss eating superbly delicious food (cooked by those very same nosy family members, such irony) whilst trying to come up with creative ways to answer those questions. Most of the time I just pretended to be rather oblivious, to their amusement. I’m glad I fairly amused them because it was an otherwise experience for me.

Touch down. Caught up with my local friends. Conversations ensued and time flew by. We are now approaching winter break. A lot of my local friends here miss home a lot yet they only need to travel an hour away to get to home. If I wanted to fly back home, I needed to spend at least $1000 and spend 30 hours in between airports and aeroplanes (notice the British spelling) so I only go home when absolutely essential. I am most amused by the question “Oh no poor you, you can’t go home!?”, gasped my local friends. In fact, I do miss home but for now, this distance is necessary, necessary for me to question my place in the larger picture of my entire family. Do I want to live with them after graduating?  To what degree am I responsible for my siblings? These are all important questions, with no direct answer. They don’t need answers. But I need time.

The power of distance is underestimated. Most of the time, distance in movies is portrayed in negative connotations. Little do we know distance can give us the space we need to breathe, to consider our place within our circles. I needed to physically remove myself from the discomfort I sensed. There were too many things going on at home, too many luggages unloaded upon me at once, and I wasn’t given time to unpack it slowly. Being in Ann Arbor studying gave me the chance to resume my anonymity from family and friends in Malaysia. Anonymity; central to healing, untangling complicated problems without being in the problematic space itself. No one to ask you why you’re doing what you’re doing, no one keeping tabs. Distance and time (hopefully) are on my side.

Relevant song: “Save Myself” by Ed Sheeran

I gave all my oxygen to people that could breathe
I gave away my money and now we don’t even speak
I drove miles and miles, but would you do the same for me?
Oh, honestly?
Offered off my shoulder just for you to cry upon
Gave you constant shelter and a bed to keep you warm
They gave me the heartache and in return I gave a song
It goes on and on

(Image credits: Google Images)

“If you are grateful for where you are, then you have to respect the road that got you there.” A friend showed this quote to me, and I don’t have the original reference.

Especially in college, the majority of us feel like we are wandering through life, mapping out where we want to go, but this journey often seems aimless. We may riddle our thoughts with what ifs and I should haves which only harbor uncertainties about our choices. We worry that changes to our past would have been led us to something that “feels right.” This is dangerous thinking, mostly futile actually…since there is nothing you can do to change the past. They are also a little foolish because you are at the University of Michigan! Whatever road you took got you HERE! That’s something to be grateful for. Instead of second guessing, remember where you are. Dismiss regret and move forward. You learned something on your road, so take that knowledge to your next destination.

If you listen to pop music, you’ve probably heard of King Princess. The 19 year old pop artist, born Mikaela Straus, has skyrocketed to celebrity within the past year. Her fans adore her for her lyrical and deep songs featuring themes of love, queerness, and identity. She grew up in the studio in Brooklyn, learning music from her sound engineer dad, and now lives in LA. King Princess signed with Mark Ronson’s Zelig Records as his first artist on the Columbia imprint label.

King Princess herself is known for being transparent, which is rare among famous people–she is straightforward in terms of her gay sexuality and being genderqueer, thus calling to attention the importance of representation. Although she only has a handful of songs, they are carefully crafted, crooning melodic odes to love and loneliness in the modern era. King Princess’ musical talent is shown through instrumental elements, as well as her eccentric eye. Clare Gillen directs her music videos, each with a particular unique theme.

“1950” was the first single that boomed among top charts. In it, King Princess pays tribute to LGBTQ people throughout history who have had to hide their sexualities and self-expression. Most recently, she has released “Pussy is God,” a straightforwardly explicit anthem celebrating female anatomy. There are no hidden gimmicks or double meanings; the song co-written with her girlfriend, actress Amandla Stenberg, expresses love for their partner’s beauty in a funky tune.

King Princess represents a new generation of pop artists: those unafraid to be completely themselves and speak up for what they believe in. She has already garnered millions of fans and will continue to do so, hopefully inspiring young people everywhere to be authentic to themselves and unabashedly honest.