“When I’d speak of artistry you would roll your eyes skyward, when I’d speak of spirituality you label me absurd.”
Over the past weekend, I took a very short visit home. It was relaxing to be with my family – they’re my favorite thing about being home – and nice to have a break from all the stress that comes along with being at school. On my short plane ride home, I had an inexplicable and strong hopeful feeling that has followed me for the few days since.
“When I spoke of impossibility you would frown and shake your head,”
It is a feeling that isn’t new to me, but the sudden realization of the countless possibilities and opportunities that the coming weeks, months, and years can and will bring hit me for the first time in what felt like a long time. It’s a feeling that I associate with “feeling like myself,” because generally speaking, I am an optimist, and constantly having less-than-hopeful thoughts leaves me feeling unrecognizable to myself.
“If I had stayed much longer I’d have surely imploded.”
I am not sure what prompted this return to excited optimism. Maybe I just needed a mental reset, maybe I needed to be away from my college life in order to appreciate it, maybe I needed to listen to more of the music that makes me feel understood (for example any song by Alanis Morissette), maybe I needed some time on my own while traveling. Maybe (definitely) it’s due to my therapy working. I am well aware that therapy works and helps me a lot. Like most things, bettering myself takes time, and, unfortunately, I am generally not good at being patient when it comes to my own life.
“Unprodigal Daughter and I’m heading for the west, disenchanted daughter and this plane cannot fly fast enough,”
While this current good feeling leaves me paranoid that it won’t last forever (spoiler alert: no feelings last forever, which is a blessing and a curse), it is nice to have this renewed sense of purpose and energy while it lasts. It’s nice to know that I’m going to continue to work on feeling this way more often. It’s even nicer to know that, regardless of how long it may last this time, this feeling is never gone forever, and in the times when I am not feeling like my usual positive self, I just need to hang in there and be patient until I am.
“Unencumbered daughter hit the ground running at last!”
Listen to Unprodigal Daughter here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oEbWQxgDpOA
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