aSoSS 18 | Disbelief

Bro just asked me if I’ve ever tried putting ice cream on a cookie. As if I’m not a fatass!

Mosher-Jordan Dining Hall, 7:30PM, 1/31/2024

before it came crashing down you once said we all end up in the same place. like life is a stomach and we are forced to churn. water can flow down the wrong pipe // seeds can sprout in lungs // i could give in or give way or give up and would that be so bad? spin the wheel of fortune, grab a wedge of sunlight, shrink down into the abyss that follows. this is nice, you think, a noiseless descent into the vault of memory. no bad angles, just perfect planes. when biting into an animal cracker, aim straight for the heart.

You live in a house? Like a mailbox and a driveway and a backyard and everything?

Yeah.

What is this? What kind of sorcery is this?

Hot Topic, 2:00PM, 1/14/2024

to make the argument about human necessity is to implicate man as an accessory. downfall is self-assembled, like a robot. ants among giants, ogres among angels–elected because they could reach the heavens, and scolded because they would not leave. a beanstalk, chopped down, falling to the earth like the fallen logs that lined the fence to the elementary school. i taste the odor of gas and smell the chainsaw’s teeth and i know another one has fallen.

–and yet i walked up to the house, past the rubble, between the beams that lifted the structure into the sky. i lived, i lived–

I get drinks by asking for a water cup.

Okay, well I’m nice and I pay for my drinks, plus I have the Panera Sip Club…

I’m sorry that you have morals.

Glen/Catherine Outbound, 12:00PM, 1/27/2024

it is always easier to talk about something that is lost. even easier when the object is subjective, when there are strains of doubt that can seep into the pavement, tearing up the stairs and the highways and the purgatories that lie beyond. have you lost your mind? your wits? your morals? a quantum experiment, schrodinger’s reply, yes and no shattered against a backdrop of an infinite outcomes. flip one of the switches, true-to-false, and you will survive, won’t you? change all of them–a novel binary, encoded in the scraps of your imagination–and you loop to the person you once were.