I die a little each day
I breathe in and out even when I cannot
bear
the silence
I think of you often
I think of us sometimes
mostly in the dark
The day feels too delicate
to suffocate beneath the weight
of your going
You’ve gone
I sometimes think
you’ll come back to me
flowers in hand
a smile on your face
and everything will be okay
Until then, I’ll die a little each day
Gallena! The runaway Fae-Dragon to Fantasy Iceland!
Her inspiration was the Golden Siren from the Jibaro episode of Love, Death, and Robots. I saw it, and I couldn’t stop thinking about her. I wanted to create someone that was inspired by but not copying the siren. I think I did well.
I tried to distance myself from the LDR design by upping the space motifs. She’s from the same space court that Lias is from. I plan to give that court a 60s vibe because that was the space race era. I gave her a sheath dress made of small layered satellite panels, because many satellites are covered in gold sheets for solar protection.
The hair and horns were a challenge to. The LDR siren had a 20s bob cut, and I envisioned Gallena with one for a long time. She’s supposed to have short hair to contrast with Balder’s locks. I settled on getting rid of the bangs, making it wavy, and sweeping it to the side. The horns had many concepts, as shown on the page. She was intended to have a continuous crown growing in a circle from her head. I realized it was a hassle to draw and plan, so I broke the crown into segments instead. I like the decision; she looks much more punk and spiky.
I don’t think any TV sold within the past six years has had any sort of DVD player in it…
Traverwood Library, 6:30PM, 9/11/2024
[an excerpt, or a cry for help]
there is small comfort in the whole truth, but there is no comfort in a half-truth, because your honesty is shielded by your shame. just because you can tell a story doesn’t mean it deserves to be heard. are you not shameful? we are growing old, novelty ripped out and replaced by convenience. perhaps i will write today, because there is also a small comfort in a whole lie, a brazenness mistaken for bravery. an undiagnosed feeling squirms in my stomach. it takes a lot of half-truths, a summation of sins and sorrows, to approach the mirror, speak the words–
You can drive for two or three days in Texas and not leave the state.
Yeah, it’s one of the biggest states.
Alaska is even bigger… look at that. Too big.
Pierpont Commons, 2:00PM, 10/31/2024
—it’s nothing, really, and it’s true, because nothingness–emptiness–inflames the mind and plagues the soul. i lick the envelope; it is empty for now, though it will carry the weight of a novel in its folds. i think of emily dickinson and susan gilbert, tongue and glue, attraction misattributed like an incorrect citation. the quote wasn’t theirs, did you know? it was written by carolyn forché. you are beaming. of course i knew, but i tell you otherwise because this is your moment, your gold nugget that you sifted from the crevices of memory. how would forché put it? tenderness is in the hands? that means–
But that’s just the way that I have to communicate with some of my relatives, just to let them know that hey, I’m still here!
Ann Arbor Thrift Shop, 1:00PM, 11/18/2024
–the heart is the toughest part of the body, though not for good reason. graphite needles puncture skin, drawing blood from vein to inkwell. you’re stationary–letters leaking, fingers bleeding, arms wound like a clock: forever crooked, never on time. the wire, peaked with clothespins, is slack and sagging. to allow for miracles, you say, even though you don’t believe in them. i believe in you, though. what does that make me?
to the right, the maxilla quivers. to the left, the mandible spins, closing the gap. hot breath, pulsing gums, the proof of life staring at you–do we make our own miracles?–as you stare back at the scythe, at the split decision–
midnight strikes. the gator’s mouth snaps shut. the clothesline pulls taut and the pins are falling, falling, gone.
“Patience is a virtue” -Me (probably)
Is it just time going fast or do I not have my glasses on, cuz everything sure is a blur right now. Hour after hour I go to class, I do work; I get out of class, I do work; I go to sleep, I dream of work. Everything flashes by in a haze and I continue to work. Call me Sisyphus because this boulder just keeps rolling down!
Although everything happens so fast around me, my spare time has been filled with doodling on Photoshop with my laptop trackpad (my new best friend!). Lulls in lectures and commutes on buses have regained a sense of whimsy and color when I’m able to fill it with goofy little stars and apples. It’s been almost meditative this week: pulling up a blank canvas and going with what my heart tells me. Recently, I’ve dedicated these doodles to becoming new icons for my desktop (shout out to the Gargoyle for being my first muse). The doodles on the page are my shiny new folders that live amongst the picture of a double rainbow over my camp’s shimmering Half Moon lake. Through drawing these doodles, and drawing with my trackpad in general, I’ve found myself to grow a new form of patience and mindfulness with art-making. It brings me back to my early days of digital art when I could only use my trackpad to make various drawings of colorful My Little Pony characters. Nowadays I have a plethora of resources that would make my 11 year old brain pop! Trackpad drawing has brought me back to my roots, while also forcing me to learn how to draw again in a kind of way. There’s a certain kind of method and resilience needed to constantly press undo and redraw the same line over and over again until it reaches its best potential. There’s also a kind of acceptance that is required to come to terms with when something doesn’t come out exactly how you envisioned but it still doesn’t look bad. It’s similar to printmaking in that way, the apple of my eye lately, to where you learn to roll with the punches and how to take something both simple and meticulous to new heights through experimentation in tandem with trial and error. I feel more connected to my creative process in my trackpad doodling and more aware of what I’m making, how I’m doing it, and how I can play with ideas of shape and form. These doodles are simple, yes, but they bring out a joy in doodling that I’ve been missing lately. I encourage everyone to pull up their drawing program of choice, stretch your fingers, and play around with making fun little characters and creatures. Even if it looks like a hot mess of lines and color, keep playing around with it! Find what works, find what absolutely doesn’t work, and enjoy the process as you do so. Exploration, experimentation, and process are so important to art making, and also life living, so try it out and see what joy it sparks in you.
To take into our next week:
Ins: Simple syrup, my bright orange hoodie, copper and brass, little dogs, limes, tomatoes, bunny slippers, reaching out.
Outs: Timezones, cracked heels, freezing rain, the crust on a milk jug, the smell of room temp coffee, hit snooze a little tooooo long, sleeping with only one pillow.
Enjoy the last full week until break (as much as one is physically able) and appreciate that trackpad!
Text: “It’s so nice to feel wanted!!!”
Panel 2 poster text: “Wanted, $1,000,000”
Introducing a new character! Their name is Zippy, and they’re more of a rambunctious, sporty type of character. A bit delusional as well, as seen in this weeks comic.
