Tomi Ungerer and his Sketchbook

img_1232“The mind, body, and society of men seem fragile containers for violent, centrifugal forces.” This is from the preface, written by Jonathan Miller, to The Underground Sketchbook of Tomi Ungerer. As Miller notes, it is in depicting this force that Ungerer seems to find such artistic potency. The book features drawings of people falling apart or being manipulated by loved ones as if they are but objects. Heads can be screwed off, bodies can be used as vacuums, lamps, yarn for a scarf in the shape of a face, or stitched together with a sewing machine. In these bits of mechanized violence, the inflictor, the aggressor, the woman, the man, all of them have faces empty of any real emotion – they hold the faces of blank indifference much like the manipulated object of a person that lies, sits, stands, beside them.


As Miller states, these drawings may be the result of Tomi Ungerer being a, “derivative of sixty years of modern mechanized warfare. He is the artistic offspring of Passchendaele, Stalingrad, Auschwitz, and Algeria.” But Ungerer is doing more than just pr oducing satire on violence. Instead, the way he depicts these forms of violence suggests something else. This is a parody of the body image. We love our bodies, but to inflict pain to what we hold so dear, is to have absolute power over it. This may take the form of a sadist or a masochist, but either way, the horror is that people are capable of such violence, and have already, for centuries, committed such actions of selfish power.


This was the first drawing I saw from the book. I loved it. I loved the line work, how it was able to capture the form of the man, his crooked shoulders, his hunched back, and his contemplative gaze, all with minimal line work. But before I even full realized the form of the drawing, I recognized the one bold black figure in the entirety of the drawing – the bomb and its lit fuse. There appears to be no rush to get rid of the explosive, instead, the man seems to be ready to die. He appears to be stroking the bomb, like a dear object. He holds it with care, as one might hold a wine glass in an incredibly pretentious way. There is no regret – only willingness.

I must admit, I can find no way to spin all of this in a positive light. Perhaps reading Ungerer’s work on children’s books might be the best course to retrieve some optimism. Or perhaps walk away from Ungerer all together. But I’d suggest that that is not the way. I cannot tell you that I relate to where Ungerer is coming from. I’ve never experience war, never been in close proximity, I’ve only gained faint images from the stories my grandpa told me. Even those are not graphic by any means. Perhaps the most haunting bit of war cinema I’ve seen was the John Huston documentary Let There Be Light. However, even that film, with images of soldiers back from the war, physically intact yet mentally broken, will never allow me to get into their headspace fully. So in this particular situation, looking at these drawings by Ungerer, why do I find myself returning to these drawings?

When a child purposely steps on an ant, they may be indifferent to the ant’s pain; however, there is something besides indifference that is present – playfulness. Ungerer is filled to the brim with a playful vigor in the face of horror. It makes me think, whether or not playfulness is that far removed from indifference, or even, being unaware.
However, perhaps there is a victory that can be discovered, in treading the lines of indifferent violence, and finding humor in it. After all, comedy is formed out of tragedy. We just need, to dive into the grave, and emerge with a bone to chew on.

 

How Peter Jackson cost me my job in New Zealand and other topics non-relevant to human existence.

“Are you crazy? You could have been killed.”, Lee said. She was like my mum, just without the nice bits. She yelled at me but then didn’t give me ice cream to make up for it. She judged me but then wasn’t proud of me ever – or at least I felt that way.
“I’m not going to let my employees be killed just because they are a couple of bloody battlers.”
Oh yeah, and she was Australian which made everything she said sound cute rather than the tone she was going for – in this case threatening.
“I’m being serious! This is no laughing matter! I will fire you if that’s what it takes to protect you from your own baboonery.”
What upset her so much, you ask? Good question. I will take you back in time and tell you the whole story, which eventually led to my dismissal from my first real job. But since it’s quite long, I’m not going to tell it to you all at once but rather piece by piece. Every week I’ll give you one more chunk of the story and believe you me, it’s worth hanging around for.

So how did I loose that job? And what kind of job was it to begin with? Well, lean back and enjoy hearing about my  misery, because if there’s anything I’ve learned in the past months, it is that there is no topic people like to read about more, than other peoples’ misery. Don’t feel bad about that, it’s human. Let’s dive right in:

So it all started back home in Germany when I watched “The Lord of the Rings”. What a great movie! And since it is basically a ten hour tourism commercial for New Zealand, I was dead set on flying over to Kiwi Island and exploring all the places where the movies had been filmed, overlooking vast landscapes Legolas had once overlooked and sitting on trees until they started carrying me around. Isn’t that a great idea? Well let me give you the answer: No!

Don’t get me wrong, New Zealand is a magnificent country and I didn’t regret spending one year of my life there at all, but to go there to check out LOTR places… Might be slightly disappointing. You might now expect the main issue to be, that the places weren’t as cool in reality as they seemed to be in the movies, or something like that. But that’s not the reason for my disappointment. The places looked great from afar but I couldn’t actually get close. It seemed like the entire movie series had been shot on private property.  Many places I couldn’t get into even if I was willing to pay money for it.

Some places on the other hand did take my money and a lot of it, too. How much? Let’s just say the prices weren’t as low as everything else in this place. Get it? No? Ok, what about this one: I wouldn’t have paid this much for a first, second and third breakfast combined. Still nothing? I just wish my wallet would have been as big as their feet but less hairy. I’m sure you know by now where my really bad puns (can you even call that puns) are going: I paid $50 to be chased through the masses of tourists in Hobbiton, by a tour guide so old, he could have been part of Elrond’s Council for all I know. When I saw a boy who was about as wide as he was short, sitting in a wheelbarrow for a picture, next to a pumpkin which looked alarmingly like him, I thought to myself that the Hobbits would have hated this. Strangers coming to their shire and taking pictures, talking, being noisy and annoying… That was not the Hobbit way of doing things and it wasn’t the Marius way either. My visit to Hobbiton did result in a couple of decent pictures, though:

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Long story short: I didn’t purposely go to other LOTR places after this unfortunate incident, but I did see a few along the very long way still ahead of me. And since we received a complimentary drink at the Green Dragon, Hobbiton wasn’t such a waste of money after all.

All of this happened within the first week of having my new job, my first job, a job I would only have for a few more weeks… A job that had surprisingly much in common with Harry Potter, but more on that next week.

I feel like I drifted off topic a bit. Guys, I think I might do that occasionally while telling you this story, I hope you won’t mind.

See you next week and remember to be the weirdest you can possibly be.

 

PS: Weird people are cool and, by the way, my name is Marius, I’m a German communication major, bla bla bla… nobody cares about this stuff anyway. Cya!

A New Man and a Crispy Realization

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On September 30th, Bon Iver released his newest album 22, A Million. Upon first reading the title, I didn’t understand it. What does the number-word combination mean? At first glance, why should I understand it? When you meet someone for the first time, are you supposed to know anything about him or her? Well, no. That’s the beauty of getting to know someone! I have never met Bon Iver singer-songwriter Justin Vernon and maybe I never will, but slowly I may get to know what Justin Vernon sounds like.

His friend Trever explains that the “22” represents the recurring symbol of the number 2. Growing up, he has seen this number continuously appear on signs, jersey numbers, and other patterns. Justin identifies with 2 as the duality he feels between himself and “A Million” people with whom he shares the world: the many people he will never know. Justin Vernon is just one of “A Million” people with his own individual sound. Read more at http://boniver.org/bio

We all have a collection of sounds for our life. Each day has a new sound. If you have a routine, then this song repeats like a chorus. When something shakes the repetition, a new verse begins. It’s difficult to learn the words of these unique lines as opposed to the chorus. Change is hard. But these verses contain the most spectacular messages hidden within the change in sound. The lines are in the song for a reason just like things in your life happen for a reason.

Bon Iver’s previous albums deliver a sense of reflection like the beautiful For Emma, Forever Ago he wrote as a recluse near his home town, Eau Claire, as a means of coping with longing and lost love. Compared to these previous albums, he creates more of optimistic tone in 22, A Million. The unique layering of sounds makes you peel apart each element of the song and think. Usually his songs let you wind down like unraveling the tension between two strands of tightly intertwined rope, but this album lets you wind down, then sends you into a new direction of thought like those singular fibers of a strand of rope becoming independent of each other and modified into a new shape. This journey of thought is one that you may take alone. The use of echoing vocals creates a sense of isolation, but not in a negative way. It’s as though you have rebuilt yourself from trouble in your life and have finally turned the corner into a direction of prosperity, into a new direction of thought. On Bon Iver’s album For Emma: Forever Ago, there is a song called “Re: Stacks.” This is one of my favorites particularly because of the honesty in one line when he says, “This is not the sound of a new man or crispy realization; it’s the sound of the unlocking and the lift away.”

Now it’s been a while since the For Emma: Forever Ago album. 22, A Million sounds like the transition to a new man and a crispy realization.

 

The Freeing Nature of Halloween

I’m not a super outgoing person. Unless I’m with people I’m really comfortable around, it’s hard for me to open up and make a lot of jokes and take risks with what I say; sometimes I worry that I’m a funny person, but that my humor only comes across to really close friends. That’s why Halloween is a special time of year for me. Ironically, it’s the one time where I can show what I’m really like. By being someone else, I can be myself. (Hashtag deep.)

I’ve always aimed for costumes that are, if not hilarious, at least noticeable. I still remember my sixth grade math teacher laughing hysterically at my old lady costume, and a lady in the neighborhood mistaking me for a girl after dressing as a nun one year. Last year, I was Jack Skellington, which involved enlisting my roommate Marnie to cover my face in makeup.

But my crowning achievement was, and probably always will be, my sophomore year of college, when I dressed up as a wacky wavy inflatable arm-flailing tube man, one of those big obnoxious things they put outside of car dealerships to attract customers. I meant to create the costume myself with only some suggestions from my crafty mom, but she ended up doing most of the work, and it got stressful for her, and I felt terrible. But I like to think the payoff was worth it, as I attracted a lot of attention.

That’s why Halloween is so nice for me. I have an excuse to make a spectacle out of myself, which I’m usually too nervous to do. On the weekend of Halloween, I can go to a party, talk to strangers about our costumes, and move on without any real fear of what they think of me. That weekend sophomore year, I took so many pictures with random strangers, and some of them have to have ended up on Facebook. I dream of finding them one day.

This year, I thought about what I could be for a whole month leading up to Halloween. Last year, there was no chance my costume would live up to the standard set the previous year, so I’d picked Jack Skellington, going for impressive in a different way: through makeup. Generally, Halloween in college isn’t treated very seriously; people mostly put on a half-assed costume and go drink somewhere. There’s certainly a charm to that, but I’ve always found it fun to go all out in college. It defies expectations.

But this year, I couldn’t really think of anything impressive. I think I’m just going to end up going as Steve from Blue’s Clues, since my friend has a handy green striped shirt, and I have the same general characteristics as Steve (white, skinny, short brown hair). No makeup, no hastily assembled materials. Hey, at least it’ll be cheap, but I’m still a little sad I’m not going all out with something spectacular for my last Halloween in college.

Oh well. I still have my 20s.

Fresh(man) off the Boat

Image Courtesy of the Office of New Student Programs

I arrived in Michigan excited, curious, and half-asleep. I was an explorer in a strange, foreign land, which the natives called Detroit Metropolitan Airport. I knew where I was headed, I had committed to the University of Michigan for months, yet, this was my first time in the state. It created a peculiar state of unknowing that I had never felt before. It was a feeling that I did not take much time to reflect on. I was too busy corralling two wayward suitcases. And so the grandest adventure of my life thus far began, not with a bang, but with a half-stifled yawn as I walked past a closed McDonald’s.

Over the next few weeks, I began to learn more about my new home. One of the most quintessential experiences of the out-of-state student, is the “weather talk”. I had never experienced more than two feet of snow, much less a true blizzard. Every time, I asked, I saw the same reaction. A slight widening of the eyes, a hesitation that was just a little bit too long, and finally, a nervous, forced giggle. “Of course, you’ll be fine”, reassuringly said, but not with any hint of true belief. I supposed that it was only the natural course of events, the circle of life. I would freeze in the winter storm and be reborn in the fickle sunshine of the spring. I swore to myself that I would become a true Michigander (Michiganian? Michiganite?). Soon, I, too, would be able to nod my head cynically and wisely assure a wide-eyed, unworldly freshman, that they were going to survive with most of their fingers and toes intact. I was ready to be the student on the cover of every college brochure; strolling down the sidewalk, smiling, confident in their destination.

Unfortunately, life is constantly taking turns, not unlike a squirrel distracted by a nut. I woke up one day and it was midterms already. Fall was in full blossom. Colors had crept up the leaves like a slow disease. It was all a bad dream, moving in quick flashes. One moment, I was studying at midnight. The next, I was staring down at the test writing down my U-M ID number. I didn’t even know when I had memorized it. And then, it was over and graded and done, and I was left wondering if I had experienced college at all. If college was supposed to be place of monumental change, then it must have passed me by.

Yet, as I walked back to my room, I realized I had. I experienced the freedom of waking up without parents. I got the opportunity to study where I wanted, when I wanted. I ate more chocolate chip cookies than I can count, jaywalked, and fed a squirrel. As a freshman, I wanted dramatic change. I wanted to be the winter storm, blasting through the door, entirely new. I got the small stuff instead, as imperceptible as the reddening of the autumn leaves, until it is all around you, swirling in the wind.

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At the Matthaei Botanical Gardens

We Begin in Onett

We begin in, “Onett, a small town in Eagleland.” At the outskirts of town, there is a home, inside there is a boy sleeping and then the world shakes, and our hero, Ness, wakes up in the middle of the night. Outside, there are cops standing around doing nothing except prevent you from getting to the meteorite that landed on a cliff to the north of town. Since the adults prevent you from checking it out, you, naturally, go back home and go to sleep. Then, later that night, furious knocking wakes you up. It is your neighbor, Pokey – his younger brother has gone missing. The two of you, and your dog tags along as well, you and Pokey go exploring. The cops are gone; instead, wild brown dogs, green snakes, and cool crows with sunglasses replace them. They attack you, and all you can do is defend yourself with a cracked bat. Eventually, you get to the unguarded meteorite and it is here you finally meet an alien – its name is Buzz Buzz and it is a bee.

He tells you a prophecy…that you are the chosen one…blah blah…but wait, he’s a bee? So is he an alien or what? Well Buzz Buzz joins your group, and as you head back, a Starman beams down from the sky and engages you in battle. This isn’t a crow, a snake, a dog, this is a metallic looking alien with his tentacle-like arms resting on his hips, exuding confidence as if he is just going to tear your child body apart by just standing there, or even worse, send you through some galactic head-trip by shooting astral objects as you, forcing you through some Kubrikian stargate, leaving you as some star child floating through space saying, “WTF?”. But you have Buzz Buzz remember? Buzz Buzz protects your entire party with a shield and you win, easily. You’re untouchable; this game is going to be a breeze. So you go home, again, for the third time in one night, and what does your mom do? She freaks out about the bee and smacks it and kills Buzz Buzz.

I realize I haven’t even told you what I’m talking about yet. What I’ve essentially just summarized is the beginning of the game called Earthbound. It was a game that was released, coincidentally, the year I was born, 1994. However, I never played it when I was a child, I only played it just recently, in college, when I should have been doing other more productive things. Being a cult classic, this game already has numerous articles and videos dedicated to analyzing its perplexing oddities and absorbing story all over the Internet. People talk about the boss at the very end, they talk about the colors, the story, the odd enemies like a crazy looking duck or a floating Dali clock, they talk about how vagina symbolism, fetus symbolism, and on and on and on. So what can I say about a game that I never grew up with?

I can tell you that this experience was by no means unproductive. I firmly believe, that I am the most productive when I don’t feel like I’m working. Essentially, when others believe I’m wasting time, doing nothing, I’m actually doing far more than I’d be if I were working on some essay that I had zero interest in. This game was a piece of art and I’d love to analyze if it weren’t for the fact that it hadn’t been analyzed to oblivion by now. So harking back on the comment about others judging me about playing games during college, in a similar light, I’m not exactly in a position to be analyzing Earthbound with any real integrity. In reality, those who grew up with it, who played it when they were young, and revisited the timeless game when they were older, those are the people that can truly understand what the game is about. To some, or to many, it’s a game about growing up, about seeing a world that is the meeting point between childhood and adulthood, to see a world that isn’t all nice and filled with friendly caricatures, instead, it is occupied by cultists, brutish police officers, apocalyptic alien threats, and abstract embodiments of everything evil in the world. All you have is a bat and some friends – three to be exact.

Am I a gamer? Given that I’ve played games more than once in my life, yes, I’d say I’m a gamer. But am I an expert on the gaming world? Definitely not. But I can recognize that Earthbound is a game that certainly goes against the grain. It is at the peak of its deconstructive powers when it brushes up against storytelling clichés or video game tropes for it revels in dialing up the absurdity meter regularly, taking each step into the unknown, the strange, with a sure idea of where it is going. But that is the thing, isn’t it, the player is the one that is confused, not the game. The world is just the world – it doesn’t know it is weird, only you do. But as you play the game, the strange becomes the normal and you understand the logic that was at first foreign. In other words, the game felt accessible to me because it never thought that it was strange. It never wavered in its identity; it was more stable than me.

This game hasn’t changed my life drastically, unlike some dedicated fans claim (which I must say, had I played it as a child, would be very understandable). But it made me care about it, unlike some Jane Austen novel I had to read or something. I was upset, but at the same time, laughing, when Buzz Buzz met an untimely death. I was horrified when I finally saw what the Giygas looked like. I gave a shit about a world that doesn’t seem weird at all anymore. This is more than just growing up as a child. Even today, I don’t care about everything. How can I? The world is expansive and I don’t understand 99% of it. But when you get naturally immersed in something new and you start to understand, it is one of the greatest feelings in the world.