How to Study Like a Pro

Monday is the last day of classes and we all know what that means—finals time. Like any good little student, I’ve perfected my finals studying schedule. I’m a senior, so be warned. This method is not for everyone.

First, I look at everything I have to do. I write every assignment in my planner and make sure to include due dates and a realistic timeline of how long each final assignment will take me to do. Keep in mind the word “realistic” here. There’s nothing worse than pretending it’ll take you three hours to write a paper knowing full well it’ll take you more like six once you fall into that dark hole of the Internet.

Second, write down the dates and times of your final exams in your planner, on your phone calendar, on your hand, whatever works best for you to remember to be there. This is an important step as not taking your exam generally leads to a very poor grade in the class.

Third, and this is my favorite part of my finals study schedule, choose which television show to start unnecessarily binge watching until it becomes really late and semi-stressful to do your work. I usually choose a show that has been on my list for a while or is easy to finish so that once I’m done I won’t have any distractions from my schoolwork. Most of the time this even works.

This year I decided to focus on the Marvel Universe, so I took a dive into Hell’s Kitchen and followed around everyone’s favorite PI, Jessica Jones. The amount of stress it caused me to actually sit there and watch probably didn’t help relieve any of my finals anxiety, but it sure was a hell of a show, and I am in no way upset I spent 10 hours watching it. (See, 10 hours. Totally manageable.)

For those of you who don’t know, Jessica Jones is one of those Netflix original series that makes you glad Netflix started making television instead of just streaming it. It’s really that good. I loved the story. The characters, like almost all superheroes and super villains, are interesting and exciting, lovable and despicable. Krysten Ritter plays Jessica, a truly strong female lead that you can’t help but despise a little bit while you root for her. David Tennant (I know, Doctor Who fans rejoice) is an excellently evil purple-loving Kilgrave who makes you kind of sick to your stomach and at least a little sorry for the way humanity can sometimes act, even in fictional stories. Together, they make one of the best match ups I’ve ever seen in a good versus bad story, and I had the hardest time every time I had to shut my computer before it was over.

You may think, how does this help me pass my exams? Well, the TV watching really doesn’t. It just makes you take a break and relax a little bit at a particularly stressful time in the semester. So I admit it, there is some actual studying in my finals study schedule. Once I’ve finished binge watching my show, I actually get down to business and study it up until finals are over. Maybe I’m just lucky, but so far this schedule has worked well for me. I can’t actually suggest putting off all of your homework and studying until after you watch endless hours of television, but I can tell you that Jessica Jones is a great television show. If you haven’t started it yet, it just might be the perfect addition to your finals study schedule. Tell yourself you’ll use it as a break if you have to. Whatever you need to convince yourself Netflix is not the enemy, because it’s not. It’s just a method to slow down, that’s all.

To those of you who opened this to actually learn some good study methods, I’m sorry if this isn’t what you wanted to read. However, I really have done very well on my examinations and papers over the past three years, and I think taking some time for yourself is a really good thing. If you don’t want to watch Jessica Jones I understand. (Not really. It’s so good you really just should.) But please, do something to break up your studying so you don’t try to jam everything from the last semester into your brain all at once. Who knows, you might actually learn something that way, and even enjoy these last couple days of classes and exams.

The Comprehensive Guide to Avoiding Awkward Conversations With People From High School

The semester is coming to an end, which means many of us are about to make the trek back to our pre-Ann Arbor home, wherever that may be. While a fair number of us are probably looking forward to hanging out with our pets (Smokey Joe, I’m coming for you), we are probably not looking forward to the possible awkward encounters with any number of kids we went to high school with. Whether they went to a school in-state, Michigan State, or are one of the kids who never left your hometown, chances are they are one of the last people you want to awkwardly ask about life and plans for the future.

So while this might be too little too late for some of you (I know Thanksgiving break may have put you in a few tight spots already), here is my guide to avoiding those awkward convos with people you don’t really want to see:

1. Always have an exit strategy. Whether you’re at the bar or walking the aisles at Target (my worst enemy this time of year), always be aware of your surroundings and have a path of least resistance in case you need to make a quick out. Be careful not to back yourself into a corner, though, because you never know who might be around the next bend.

2. Avoid eye-contact. If you can plausibly deny that you even saw Kurt from your sophomore Advanced Comp. class, you do not have to say hi to him.  The glory of smartphones these days is that you can pretend that you got a really interesting text, or better yet, pretend you’re on the phone with your over-bearing mother. Hell, actually call her if you need to, just get out of there!

3. Avoid the old high-school haunts. Yes, the 24-hour diner in your town was cool when you were 18, and yes it will be nostalgic to sit there at 1am on a Tuesday night, but guess what? Everyone else thought it was cool then and everyone else will have the exact same idea as you – if they ever even left, that is.  You will not be the only one to get home, text your old friend group, and throw on an old football sweatshirt. You will also not be the only one to suffer through conversations about MICHIGAN STATE FOOTBALL (if you are from out-of-state, count your blessings that you can avoid this), and some wounds just need time to heal. You’d be better off meeting at the Public Library.

4. Shave your head. This will throw people off. They’ve never seen your bone-structure so clearly or the shape of your skull before, and they will be confused enough for you to accomplish both #1 and #2. If you’ve been rocking the shaved head since freshman year of high school….well, it looks like you just might want to invest in a nice wig.

5. Plastic surgery. Yes, this is quite the investment, but the return might be HUGE depending on how long into the future you plan on making visits home. You will never have to worry about being recognized for the rest of forever, so long as you keep your new face off of your facebook news feed.

6. Start speaking to them in a different language. This will throw them off-kilter so much that they might just turn around and walk away from you, no questions asked. Even Spanish – chances are they don’t remember much from the last Spanish class they took freshman year of college.  If you happen upon a Spanish major? Simply butcher your speech so much that they won’t know how to respond and will hopefully just awkwardly float away. You’ll lose less dignity this way. Trust me.

7. Get into a car, drive to a body of water in the middle of nowhere, take a boat to a jagged little island, and wait in the single little cabin for Hagrid to come and rescue you and take you to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. This is a Hail Mary, but sometimes all you gotta do is believe.

8. LAST RESORT: Imbibe in the spirits of the choice (as long as you’re legal, of course!!!) and hopefully you just won’t remember anything the next day.

Monsieur Ferguson

I find that the interview, as a format, is absurd. This absurdity becomes highly visible when watching late night. There are only two hosts that have actually made me laugh, Conan O’Brien and Craig Ferguson. The former makes me laugh only when he does his absurd goofball/slapstick physical comedy by swinging his head around in violent motions. But the later, made me laugh for the entire duration of his show. Unfortunately, the only way to see the marvel, that was the Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, is through YouTube now (because he stepped down from the show earlier this year). I will not talk about James Corden because I cannot, because I haven’t seen the show since Craig left.

But what made the show so special for me is just how absurd it was, to the point where it didn’t feel like a show per say. But rather, it felt like I was tuning in to someone just messing around in front of a camera. The way he did his opening monologue, the existence of Geoff and Secretariat, and the way he did his e-mails and tweets – it was all so ridiculous. One small moment of absurdity that I could never get enough of, was when he threw a log into the fake fire.

During his time as the host of the show, he deconstructed each element of the late night format, from discarding pre-interviews and the need to fill the conversation with forced laughter or needless plugs about projects. Oh, he also swore the most out of all the late night hosts, but probably the best thing about that was the way he censored swears (you will see in the video).

But although first time viewers may think that this show is absurd and only absurd, upon further viewing they may be pleasantly surprised to see just how smooth of a talker Craig is – a personality that exudes the rat pack confidence (Like actually, watch any of his interviews with female guests. I’m straight and even I’m turned on.).

Sorry for the lackluster tribute, but I need to get back to my classwork. So I will just…

 

Weekend Watch – “The Color Wheel”

Movies don’t really hit me very hard typically, which might sound weird coming from a person who adores movies. It’s not that I don’t feel emotions while watching them; I tear up pretty frequently when I’m in the middle of a movie, or watching an emotional episode of a TV show. But usually, once a movie ends, it drifts from my mind. Even the movies that I love.

It’s only been half an hour since I watched “The Color Wheel,” but the fact that I can’t stop thinking about it is unusual. The last time I experienced it, in fact, was watching “Listen Up Philip,” one of Alex Ross Perry’s other two movies (I’m not counting “Impolex,” which is relatively unseen, the one movie I’m not super interested in watching of his). But as I stood up after “The Color Wheel” ended, I felt like I was leaving my bedroom in a daze. I went downstairs and talked to my roommates, but whenever we were talking, there was this nagging in the back of my mind, this background rumination about the movie.

It’s really hard to ignore what happens at the end of “The Color Wheel.” Really, really hard. Writing this shortly after it ended, it’s pretty much the only thing I can think about. And, I mean, you can’t really blame someone for that. It’s an unusual ending, to say the least. But what’s most brilliant about the ending is that it’s not out of nowhere. The rest of the movie foreshadows it pretty heavily. I knew the twist beforehand, which is maybe why I picked up so much on the weird foreshadowing, but I don’t think that really diminished from the effect (though I do wonder how I would’ve reacted going into this cold).

Let’s start at the beginning, though. Colin (Perry himself) and JR (co-writer Carlen Altman) play a brother and sister in a very stereotypical-sounding indie comedy plot. They don’t get along very well, but Colin is the only one JR has left; she’s failed in her professional life, neglecting to find a job in broadcasting, and she’s failed in her personal life, breaking up with her pretentious professor boyfriend. So they have a fun sibling road trip where they bond and get over their differences.

Summing up the plot (prior to the ‘twist’ at the end, at least) tells next to nothing about the movie, though, because it’s so filtered through Alex Ross Perry’s uniquely strange style. I don’t even know how to describe it. It doesn’t have the same weird narrator as “Listen Up Philip,” but maybe it’s the beautifully grainy black-and-white cinematography. Maybe it’s the acting styles; Perry and Altman have kind of weird and unnatural line readings, and in any mainstream movie (like “Trainwreck” or something) it would come across as extremely stilted, but it just works here. And, like, it’s not genuinely terrible acting; they each have some flat readings, but they’re capable of doing really specific things well, like Altman’s mumbling imitations of Colin that are so perfectly sisterly. And their dynamic is so genuine and recognizable that they’re doing something right. Despite all of that, though, I’m not sure what makes this feel so specifically like an Alex Ross Perry movie (and how I’m able to conclude that after having only seen one of his). All I know is that he makes every other indie auteur seem unimaginative by comparison.

Having a really strong script also helps ameliorate the sketchy acting. I mean, I was laughing almost constantly, and this isn’t the kind of movie that I would expect that from (though I laughed pretty consistently at “Listen Up Philip,” too). The jokes often feel improvised, though the movie was 0% improvised; the dynamic between Perry and Altman is just so strong and the scenes have clearly been meticulously rehearsed, so everything feels natural, despite the unnatural delivery.

I expect the polarizing aspect of the movie comes from that undeniably weird ending. It’s no use hiding it any longer: the movie ends with Colin and JR, the biological brother and sister, having sex.

I honestly didn’t know how to feel while watching it. It was uncomfortable, and shocking, of course, especially the way the kiss/sex itself is shot, with the camera extremely tight on their faces, so that’s all you can see. You’re forced to experience it with them.

But it’s also weirdly natural. There have been so many scenes of strange sexual tension throughout the movie, something that undoubtedly would’ve puzzled me if I went in without knowing where it was all heading. There’s the scene when Colin buttons up JR’s shirt, mimicking “zip up my dress” scenes from countless rom-coms. There’s the fact that the motel owner makes them kiss to prove that they’re not faking being brother and sister. There’s JR walking in on Colin making out with his old childhood crush and freely interrupting it without apologizing or stepping out to leave them be. There’s the overall dynamic of playful antagonism that fits with the brother-sister relationship but which also feels oddly at home in a budding romantic relationship.

Even aside from the apparent sexual tension that has been simmering throughout the movie, though, there’s the emotional weight of it. It feels genuinely cathartic, in a way, because each of them has discovered that the other is the only person who will truly understand them. I doubt that in real life JR would find no one who’d actually be sympathetic to her lack of professional and personal success, but still, in the context of the movie, it’s fair that JR would feel like Colin is the only one who’s there for her.

To be honest, I wasn’t grossed out by Colin and JR having sex. That’s probably at least partly because incest is such an abstract concept for me, something that is so unusual and distanced from my reality that I can’t even imagine it and comprehend the inherent creepiness of it. You know how sometimes the most disgusting, gratuitous violence doesn’t have the most impact because it’s so far from your reality, whereas seeing someone stub their toe or get a paper cut can immediately trigger a visceral reaction? That’s kind of how I feel about incest.

Watching two siblings having sex didn’t gross me out, but that’s also because of how the scene progresses. If, after the party, Colin and JR simply got a hotel room and immediately started kissing and stripping each other’s clothes off, I’d be pretty perplexed, because even though there was sexual tension throughout the film, it would just feel wrong there. The reason it works is because of that glorious single-take shot where they lie down on the couch and just talk. It’s so natural. It’s so well-written. And you can feel it building towards this inevitable conclusion, equal parts horrifying and beautiful. You can feel it when the camera gets closer, zeroing in on their faces, only briefly panning to show her hand resting near his. You can feel it as her story goes on too long—her fantasy about Colin as a professor having a student with a crush on him drags out to almost ridiculous length, and it’s clear there is something else going on here than a woman happily imagining her brother having a successful life. There’s no way to describe the emotional impact of the scene without seeing it for yourself, but as I watched it, my heart started speeding up, then, oddly, it slowed down. The movie made me feel like this was how it was supposed to be.

Alex Ross Perry is the kind of writer-director who I absolutely love to find, because I can unconditionally say that I adore everything I’ve seen from him. I’ve only seen two movies, and he only has three notable movies overall, but just from those two, I think I’ve found an artist whose work embodies all the cinematic traits that I love and challenges me to discover new ones. I’m just glad he’s only 31 years old. I hope I’ll be watching him for years to come.

No Other Art Forum Does What Video Games Do

Video Games, unlike all other art forms, deny you access to the art form when you are bad at it. The below sketch certainly made me stop and think about it for a second.  (Warning! There are some crass terms/imagery in the video.)

I like video games but I am generally very bad at them unless it’s something like Simms where you just live the life of a person and the goals of the game are what the player decides.  Art does not deny the viewer in the same way video games do. Games in general produce this frustration for many. Dancing adequately for an album to continue or understanding a books metaphors is not necessary to finish or enjoy the content.

To me there is no doubting video games as art. I do wonder if the idea that gaming is the only art form that blocks certain people from joining it is true. People often talk about easter eggs and homages in content that others might not understand or notice. While a book may not spontaneously shut down on someone who can’t list the main themes, a particular reader might not fully appreciating a work because they lack the skill to think deeply about the content.

Perhaps this exclusion might be something that helps define art in comparison to crafty endeavors. Art not only needs a particular amount of skill to create it also needs a particular amount of skill to be understood. There are so many people who scoff at various modernist pieces and say that they could have made a piece or that it isn’t art. In a way there scorn might be something that helps define what art is.

This is not to say that all art is of the same quality and needs deep thinking to be understood but that many art styles may exclude viewers in the same way that video games do in a less obvious way.

Caroling, Caroling…

When I told my co-workers that my Friday night plans included dressing up like a robot and singing Christmas carols to Midnight Madness shoppers, I got a lot of blank stares. Nevertheless, there I went a-roboting.

#botchoir #onwardrobots

Botchoir – a night I look forward to every year – is what we call the holiday occasion when volunteers of 826michigan and the Liberty Street Robot Supply and Repair Shop come together, don festive handmade droidal costumes, and sing robotic versions of holiday carols outside the store to drum up traffic during downtown Ann Arbor’s Midnight Madness. Robots in attendance included: Muffin Tin Robot, Jingle Bot, Bat Bot, Scoutbot, Eye-Robot, and Boom Bot. Favorite tunes of the night? Binary Carol of the Bells, Silent Byte, We Wish You a Merry Botmas, I Have a Little Robot (*Dreidel Dreidel*), Rudolph the Red-Nosed Robot, and Frosty the Robot.

Here’s how it works: On the hour, every hour from 7-10, we bundled up in coats and tin foil boxes and stepped outside with our song books. The BotChoir Master called out a song, and we searched our file memory for the song, calling out “loading,” “buffering,” to signal DON’T START YET, “network connectivity problems” or “error” if we really were struggling to find the page, and “upload complete” when we were all ready. This was true performance art! A crowd had gathered in front of the shop. 101, the Master calls out. And we began. The crowd enlarged as curious people were entranced by the silver shimmer of singing robot heads, and crossed the street to get a better look.

Other than a brief stint of choir in sixth grade, most of my singing comes in the form of private solos, in the car, in the shower, in my room, or in my head. But there’s something so joyful about getting together with a group of people and giving the gift of song to others. I sincerely think that singing with other people enhances your own voice. Maybe “goodness” of voice comes from a certain amount of confidence within. Maybe it was the cold that disguised the true sounds of our voice. But, in that moment, it wasn’t about how “good” the singing was. The songs were purely a vessel for happiness. We danced about, our cheeks sore from smiling, our throats scratchy from singing so loudly. Packs of young teenagers roaming the downtown scene danced by, high-fiving the volunteer wearing the Darth Vader helmet. Couples sang along to familiar tunes. In this little sidewalk spot, we made a pocket of peace and togetherness. A place where humans and robots from all walks of earth could stand together, and experience joy and comfort.

By far, the best part of the night was workshopping Mariah Carey’s “All I Want For Christmas is You” so it read as an ode to Star Wars instead, “All I Want For Christmas is r2d2.” Those robots will cease at nothing to take over all of Christmas. 🙂

Here’s a brief sample of our editing work:

I don’t want a Hutt for Christmas/There is just one thing I need, and I/Don’t care about the presents/on the planet Tattooine/I don’t need to lose my power/Way out there in hyperspace/Obi Wan won’t make me happy/With the Force on Christmas Day/I just want you for my own/More than you could ever know/Make my wish come true/All I want for Christmas is R2. 

Want to learn Binary of the Bells? (Sing to the tune of Carol of the Bells)

101 101 101 101

101 101 101 101

100 100 100 101

000 11 000 11

101 101 101 101

I hope you all get a chance to sing your heart out with friends/families/fellow robots and help spread some cheer. You never know whose day you’ll make just a little bit better.