Une Douce Resignation

When baby birds are a certain age, their mother shoves them out of the nest. In the Bible, after God created the universe and the life that inhabits it, He rested and let it be. Creation follows this pattern: investment and resignation.

In every art discipline, there is a point where the artist needs to separate herself from the piece; to resign and take a break. After hours, days, and perhaps years of devotion to a project, the creator has given everything to their work and there is nothing left to give. Most novelists, musicians, and videographers reach a point in their projects where they are finished. Despite these efforts, they may still feel that the work is incomplete. They notice microscopic errors at a macroscopic level. But the project needs to be done. Countless hours and years may be drained from the artist if they continue with their piece—changing their minds and nitpicking at their work until nothing remains. Artists who don’t heed and press past the point of completion are unhealthy, both for themselves and their creation.

When a creator clings to her work, she betrays herself. She found joy in the conception, but then devoted herself with the burden of construction—sacrificing great time and energy to bring her work to life. When she has given all that she has to give, it is time for her project to move on. To cling onto it will stifle its growth—the blanket that kept it warm becoming a cage to suffocate it. Holding on will make waste of the efforts she has invested. The clingy artists is both the creator and destructor. To avoid the latter, one must resign.

But letting go is bittersweet. It is difficult to resign from one’s passion—the pit in which the artist has poured her heart. But it is necessary, and in letting go, a certain feeling rises. The French call it “une douce resignation.” Sweet resignation.

After one’s heart is poured out, there is nothing left to give. Although this draining may appear to leave one empty, the feeling that remains is anything but. It is a sweet feeling; a satisfaction in completion and accomplishment. Everything in your power has been done, and what follows is out of your control. Your ship, decades in the making, needs to be tested on the waters. It may float, or it may sink. But either outcome is better than keeping it on the shore and wondering what could have been. In resignation is relief.

Shove your birds out of the nest and take a rest. I’m sure they’ll fly.

Mid-Fall Reflections

So I have a problem. It’s not a particularly big or important problem. It’s just a problem. But it’s affecting me in a pretty big way.

Today, Wednesday (or early Thursday morning, depending on how quickly I get this done…oops), is my posting day for arts, ink. I love this blog. I love it to death. I sometimes wonder how I got on the blog and how the idea to let me write about arts in whatever way I want is somewhat questionable, but overall, I think it’s great.

So all day, I’ve been thinking about this blog, thinking about what I want to write about. First, it was a conversation with a new co-worker of mine, and how it ties into how I experience art, specifically theatre. But then I read the news about A Series of Unfortunate Events, how Netflix is making it into an original TV series. I also read about the pervasiveness of sex on broadcast television, and how shows nowadays are pushing the boundaries. Last week was my first creative writing workshop, maybe I can talk about that?

You see, I have the opposite of writer’s block at the moment. There’s just so much to talk about and only one day a week to do it. News comes out every day about art, especially popular media like the TV shows we watch weekly. I can barely keep up. And that’s excluding the influence of my classes, how we talked about T.S. Eliot today and his poetry and how his later poems shifted into something that countered his earlier ideas and standards for poetry, and how no one who wasn’t already established as a brilliant poet (like T.S. Eliot) could ever publish the Four Quartets as their first poem.

All of this, everything combined, it makes me wonder…am I getting repetitive in my blogs? Lather, rinse, repeat. Movies, theatres, TV shows, writing.

I;m willing to chalk it up to the amazing experience I;m having at this University, how here I’m overexposed to art, and I can get my quick fix like a junkie looking for his next high as easily as I can walk down to the CC and get a passport. I’m just wondering if any of my fellow Inksters feel the same way, like they talk about the same things over and over again in a cycle, desperately trying to find artistic meaning in the forms available to us as burgeoning writers, engineers, business women, lawyers, nutritionists. Are there really no new stories to tell, in nonfiction as well as fiction?

Dan Hernandez: Genesis

Some of you may have noticed that there is a new exhibition opened in the East Quad Gallery. The exhibition is called Genesis, and features the paintings by the artist Dan Hernandez. I went to the exhibition opening two weeks ago, but did not have enough time to scrutinize the works and think about the message the artist tries to convey. Today, the artist visited my drawing class and gave us a lecture. He talked about video games, classical and religious paintings, and how these two seemingly unrelated elements inspired him to create his current artworks.

His paintings, according to the artist, owe a great deal to the video games in the 1980s and the 1990s. Passionate about both the history of art and video games, he observes many connections and shared visual languages between the two. For example, early video games depict the space in a flat manner, which echoes the lack of pictorial space in many ancient Egyptian hieroglyphics. Nonetheless, there are hints about the spatial relationship—fighting games often have a small stage at the very bottom of the screen and simple backdrop, a trait that is also found in early Pompeiian friezes. Just like Egyptian manuscripts, video games usually simplify the figures or buildings as straightforward symbols. The picture frames of both are often divided into multiple tiers to render different scenarios/stages. Additionally, the scrolling narrative that is observed in Trajan’s column and many medieval Asian handscrolls, is also found in video games like Super Mario Brothers. Remember the Sistine Chapel ceiling—how each section depicts a scene from a larger scenario. The same happens in video games: the space sometimes breaks into different sections, and one needs to reach a certain level to enter certain spaces, but once you unlock the space, it becomes a part of the larger narrative.

The artist incorporates these parallels between the masterworks in the art history and the video games into his own works. He draws his inspiration from the religious scene of annunciation, borrows the renowned composition and represents the virgin and the angel as the characters in the video game, Street Fighter.  He also explores the resemblance between the façade of Gothic cathedrals and the spaceship in Galaga, and creates his Flying Cathedrals series. He finds the halos of the saints in the choir similar to the repetition of identical coins in the Super Mario Brothers, and visualizes this idea in his paintings as well.

The lecture was really interesting and inspiring. So, definitely stop by the gallery to check out this exhibition sometime. For more works by Dan Hernandez, please visit http://www.danhernandez.org/Art/Home.html

frogger egyptian hieroglyphics super mario pompeii frieze galaga Dan Hernandez

Writer’s Block: A sudden loss of willpower

As a humanities and screenwriting student, I’m currently overwhelmed with a series of writing deadlines. Sometimes a good idea only gets you so far until the inertia kicks in and the inspiration stops flowing. Writer’s block provides a stiff barrier to inspiration and simultaneously sequesters self doubt into the writer. Writer’s block isn’t limited to writing. Any creative act reaches a dull point, a point where the ideas stop flowing and the artist isn’t sure how to proceed. As I am currently battling writer’s block in order to complete my creative assignments for the term, I thought it would be fun to share some thoughts I’ve had about this universal problem, and some strategies and philosophies I have developed to combat it.

To begin, I’d like to quote something a friend recently told me. Writer’s block isn’t a loss of inspiration, rather, it is a loss of willpower. How can you be uninspired when you have a whole lifetime of experiences, and an entire world to engage with? Inspiration is always waiting around the corner, but sometimes, taking those extra steps forward become daunting. So the next question to ask is, what causes us to lose our willpower? And what can we do to get it back?

I think the biggest thing that holds us back from our creative pursuits is fear. Fear of not being good enough. Fear that the words I write on the page are flawed, that whatever I produce will not live up to the literary giants that I inspired me to follow in their footsteps. This fear is paralyzing. It is also, ultimately, quite foolish. No one got it right the first time. Many established authors say they weren’t proud of a draft they produced until the tenth rewrite. What does this tell us? Imperfection should not be feared or avoided, but instead accepted as inevitable. Because only through a wholehearted embrace of the imperfections in our work can we gain clarity, understand the flaws in our vision, and enhance our artistic shortcomings in order to become perfectly, uniquely imperfect.

I believe this mindset is essential to overcoming writer’s block. Knowing that I’m going to mess up takes alleviates the pressure to always be at the top of my game. I don’t wait for inspiration to find me, I find inspiration through uncompromising, persistent work. And I remember that first and foremost, I’m doing this because I enjoy it, not because there’s any pressure to be great. So I write every day for a couple of hours, I have a time of day I like best (for me, it’s either late night or early morning), designated spots to work at (my room, full of inspiring posters), and sometimes, a writing buddy – someone to stop me from packing up early when I feel like quitting early.

On a day when I don’t feel like writing, I trick myself into doing it anyway. I read over something I’ve already written or drawn, planning to revise rather than create. But revising is just another part of the creative process, and this inevitably leads to a couple of hours of work. So, the point is, don’t check out. Don’t give up. And most importantly, don’t be afraid to fail. Everyone fails. Everyone writes something bad. Writing something bad is the first step to writing something good.

Murakami, part 1

The first Murakami novel I read was Kafka on the Shore. It was unlike anything I’d read before, and to my 9th-grade mind it was bogglingly fresh. I wasn’t quite sure I liked it, I wasn’t quite sure what I felt about it. The book, like so many of Murakami’s works, falls under the genre of magical realism, juxtaposing fantastical elements with the narrative. The plot (the central plot) follows a Japanese boy Kafka through a journey and traces the people he meets along the way.

I should probably insert a disclaimer here that I’m not a diehard, religious Murakami fanatic—I enjoy his works, I keep up with his new ones, but I have yet to read every single novel he’s published so far. And to be completely honest, his memoir What I Talk About When I Talk About Running was far from my liking. But Murakami’s writing has a strange way of drawing me back in time and time again, and I have yet to tire of it.

Over the summer I picked up a copy of Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage as soon as it came out, and I loved it—I agreed with many of the reviews that mentioned how this may be his best work of date. Of the ones I’ve read so far, Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki isn’t the most colorful (pun absolutely intended) of Murakami’s novels, but the subtlety in the way he utilizes all the tropes he’s known for makes the book succeed. And let’s face it, Murakami is famous for having tropes—so famous that the New York Times made a ‘Murakami Bingo’ when the new book came out.

Right now I’m working on After Dark with the Bingo board in hand, crossing off these elements whenever they appear. I don’t know where the story will lead, but that makes it even better.

To be continued.

That Time of the Year

There is something about the sun going down so early – around this time of the year – that makes all the pressures of unfinished assignments all the more feverish. This eventuality of shorter days never crosses my mind until I finally notice that I have already fallen into a tired and somber attitude.
How easy it is to be ignorantly believing that everything is together and then quickly disintegrating into blah blah attitudes that bear no weight to anything, and in that absence of anything concrete, how disparate everything can be should you not tie each task, emotion, or thought with something that has weight and a semblance of togetherness.
By no means am I saying I sit with hopeless emptiness on my couch in my apartment as I write this blog post. No, this isn’t meant to sound depressing at all. The only reason why I remain happy is because I have to be. Also, listening to Feist’s Mushaboom helps a lot, but not really at the same time. Sometimes, if the moment is just not right, a song as happy as that makes me more tired and sad than I was before.
Another thing that helps, is writing, as much as I can. And when I am not typing or writing longhand on sheets of paper that I find strewn across my desk or in my little black notebook, I am thinking about writing. However, more broadly speaking, I keep thinking about English as an art form.
I guess what I am trying to say, is that keeping my mind occupied is a greater force to fend off the lulls of energy during this time of the year in comparison to delusional fantasies of happiness that are brought on by listening to Mushaboom.
In fear of this article becoming needlessly and annoyingly pretentious, because I am sincerely lacking material today for this blog post, I will cut this article short. I would rather not blab on about nonsense. For God’s sake, parts of this post are already nonsense.
Maybe I should just switch up my song choice, because I can’t be thinking about writing all the time, I got other stuff on my mind too.
Maybe I will listen to the It Ain’t Me Baby or some song by Haim or maybe…oh oh! I got it! Changes by Bowie.