The River Man
at the riverside
I saw arches of rocks
which told the water where to flow
about the pattern, I asked the girl beside me
she said a river man picked up heavy stones, guiding the water downstream
she asked, and he answered with tired eyes
“leaving a mark before I go”
Hello, and welcome back to Captured Moments! I decided to document the last day of classes, April 23.
9:30-10:30
I started off my day with a final in my Theory 140 Aural Skills Class. The final consisted of material such as the seven diminished chords and two diminished chords. It also included half diminished chords which only appears in a minor mode. I found these chords very interesting to learn about and when I combine all of them together, it produces a compelling sound.
12:30-1:30
I then went to my final sight-reading class. I learned a lot throughout the semester, and I passed the class! The hardest part of this class, for me, was learning how to read four voice Bach pieces. It might look easy at first, but I have to strategize on which hand takes which voice, adding on to the complexity.
3-4
I went to my last French class on central campus, in which I reviewed for my final.
4:30
Finally, I went back to the Music Building to practice for my final performance. As I walked by the pond, I saw baby ducklings! I incorporated this image onto my playing by producing beautiful sounds.
See you next week!
This is Lias, formally known as Yim before I changed their name because ‘Hima’ and ‘Yim’ sounded too similar. Lias is a fae-dragon with a third eye and facial markings that resemble sliced Pallasite meteorites (look them up, they’re beautiful). Originally, they were just going to be a flat pallasite-inspired pattern slapped onto Lias’s skin. Then, I was struck by inspiration. What if Lias instead had a series of translucent nictating membranes layered over each other that resembled pallasite patterns? That’s infinitely more eldritch, body-horror-esque, and interesting to think of!
Here are my test patterns. I settled for a base layer of yellow that looks like it’s glowing from within. Then, I worked backward and started with the outer layer of dark brown. Then an inner layer of silver, then orange. I wanted to get that intricate veiny feel, and I went from careful layering of lines and crisscrosses to just scribbles. I think all experiments look good at a distance, but up close you can see the sloppiness of the scribbles versions.
Overall, I think the middle test on the top image looks the best. It’s the one where I drew all the lines carefully. It’s also the most time-consuming to draw. Going forwards, I think I only need to make the outer layer carefully drawn, and go looser with the inner layers. I’ll need to keep in mind to not make the lines too thick or numerous, to really get that base layer glow across.
“Self-protection was in times of true danger,”
This week, I gave a speech in front of my sorority. One of our traditions is to let seniors speak about their experiences and reflect on their time at Michigan and in our chapter, and, being a senior, I decided to give a speech this year. When writing it, I looked back on all the special moments that I’ve had with the close friends I’ve made throughout my four years at the University of Michigan. Writing it in my bedroom and reading it in front of the chapter both made me very emotional. The friends that I’ve made here are special and irreplaceable. Even though I graduate in less than two weeks, I cannot imagine my life without being surrounded by these wonderful people.
“Your best defense to mistrust and be wary,”
Before going to college, I didn’t know I would be able to find such an amazing group of friends. I’ve always been pretty extroverted, but in high school I struggled with being vulnerable around my friends and was scared to open up, lean on them for emotional support, or seem to show them any sort of weakness. Upon getting to the University of Michigan, I started to realize that I would only form lasting, genuine friendships if I was able to show my friends all sides of myself – even the parts of me I was initially scared to show them. Slowly but surely, I was able to practice vulnerability. Now, as a senior, my friends are my second family. It’s a privilege to live among best friends who never judge me, who are there for me even when I’m not feeling like my usual, bubbly self, and who love me for exactly who I am.
“Surrendering, a feat of unequaled measure,”
Turns out, being vulnerable and honest with my friends has its perks – I trust them wholeheartedly and don’t have to worry about them leaving me behind or turning their backs on me in the future. I will forever be grateful that I was able to open up, because I now realize that the types of relationships I have and value would not be possible if I never showed vulnerability. College has been a time of incredible personal growth, but it has also connected me with some of the most special and treasured people I have ever known. Even though I am sad to leave Ann Arbor after graduation, I know that these bonds will stay with me forever.
“And I’m thrilled to let you in.”
Listen to Surrendering by Alanis Morissette here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S1JmZHHkqME
I know it isn’t full yet
Missing that faint yellow glow
That let’s you see the craters and
Haunted wonder at its silent ascent
But this has been eight months
In the making, a note from the first
Evening spent walking out from a
New room where I could watch the stars
And you never know quite when the clouds,
When the cold, will return, so now
I stretch my arms out and let the
Waxing moon shine down on me
Trace the Big Dipper I can find in that
Space the lamps don’t quite reach
Think of those last few scenes of
Dragons, monochrome zombies, and laughter
60s celebrations and musical mockeries of Apollo
At two theatres I remember
Through stored ticket stubs
And see how the marquee and the moon
Mix together tonight
[referring to how late she woke up] I can only have one bad day so I have to be on top of it today.
Well, I’m young and stupid, so I’ve got more time to waste.
BMV, 6:30PM, 2/28/2024
two voices, mine and yours.
—and why should i? you’re chasing your dreams while i’m chasing my tail, spinning in circles, dizzy from embarrassment. too proud to look you in the eye. it was always a game, wasn’t it? get off the playground. swing and miss, face-up, the sky salting the wound with its mosaic of stars–
my alarm rings. every morning i notice how there is only one voice, how it only speaks when spoken to. i don’t know who wins; i never do. if a thought had a mouth, would it scream?
I need melatonin to sleep. If I don’t take melatonin, I get nightmares.
Mosher-Jordan Dining Hall, 6:30PM, 3/29/2024
i am greeted by the clothes deforming like plastic in the sun, an uncanny valley of furniture molded around the faces, your face, no face at all. i unbutton my shirt and count eight scars splayed across my chest, as if a creature had climbed the ladder of my ribcage from the inside and latched on to my heart. i feel the irregular beats now, a warning that my pulse does not pump alone. i make my breakfast in silence and look at the window. i see a single spider sitting in its fractured web, watching. waiting.
I’ve made so many mistakes since having him… he’s five months old and doesn’t like to sleep, which means I don’t get to sleep either.
AADL Downtown, 12:00PM, 4/20/2024
it seems humans are born with the innate sense of death. sometimes i equate the resistance to sleep as the resistance to death and i wonder whether a child would make the connection as well. we cannot recast reality in our sleep; we cannot extract truth from our visions. our dreams lie with the size of a single breath. perhaps death pays a visit every night and pulls against the thread of the universe. pick a card, pick a side, pick your brain. the dice clatter against the floor, but when i open my eyes there is nothing there. we are all alone in the night, sleeping among the silence and the spiderwebs.
