The tunnels and Catacombs of Paris have served a large range of functions throughout history; the French Resistance hid from their Nazi Occupiers in the depths of the Catacombs, Victor Hugo’s Jean Valjean uses the tunnels to escape from the police and save the life of Marius, and some guy I met while I was studying abroad their named ‘Dave’ got arrested for drinking in them.  Yet, what of the fabled Mole People, who traditionally reside in modern folklore somewhere between freak mutant status and noble under-dwellers?

In case you are unfamiliar with the concept of Mole People (shame on you!), they are a ‘maybe they do exist maybe they don’t’ group of people who live in the tunnels beneath cities, most famously the Mole People of NYC (who do seem to actually exist).  These people are rumored to emerge only at night to gather food and drink, or occasionally to leave a baby on the surface world in the hopes of it leading a non-tunnel existence. Purportedly, these Mole People form ‘tribes’   of sorts, with their own distinct cultures and leaders.  The tunnels and Catacombs of Paris are said to be particularly well adept for Mole People; the Metro and RER would allow them to easily move about the city and Paris’s tunnel system is a labyrinth of mystery, extending all over the city with few openings and no lighting in the vast majority.  I assume the skeletons in the Catacombs are also fun to put clothes on and make into puppets.  It is also inferred that the rats are feasted upon by the Mole People (still beats eating at Arby’s).  In 2004 an underground cinema was discovered, leading many experts in the field of Mole People to think they might have more access to electricity than previously expected.  An unexplained skeleton of a monkey was also found in the tunnels, which could also possibly have associations to the Mole People.

Now, before you get any romantic ideas about abandoning your bourgeois lifestyle, replete with non-rat food options and Tetanus-free furniture, to join the Mole People, I will remind you that (if they exist) the Mole People are almost certainly nothing like the Phantom of the Opera.  When I was in high school my family visited Paris for a couple of days and my mom insisted that we go on the glamorous and famous sewer tour because art museums are for wussies.  On the tour I saw no signs of Mole People or candelabras, only feces.  If you expect to penetrate their secretive clan you will face more obstacles than simply the law.  But if you do manage to reach our underground brethren, please bid them welcome tidings from the surface world.

This is Misleading

This is more accurate

Digitally reliving the excitement of Fashion Week, from New York to London, Milan and to France, while remaining static in Ann Arbor, Michigan gives you a taste of fashion just big enough to make you salivate over the newest from Yves Saint Laurent while simultaneously face palming every time you see another Ugg-and- legging-Northface-rocking- Lily Pulitzer-planner using female on campus.  What’s worse, any attempt to ameliorate this disconnect by shopping at retailers such as Forever 21 and H&M only reinforces the idea of mass fashion production and an overall lack of creativity.  Try going to Saks Fifth Avenue or Bloomingdales and you either  pass out from sticker shock because the average price for most remotely unique items are about a gajillion dollars, or you suffer from a serious case of #firstworldproblems because the newest collection hasn’t even his retailers yet.

The Solution? Salvation Army, Spring 2013.

The Salvation Army is a treasure chest of strangely unique but wardrobe defining pieces that can be exclusively yours.  Multi-textural black leather pencil skirts, men’s ethnic garb turned into chicly loose tribal dresses, white wing tip kitten heels, and perfectly broken in jean shorts (jorts?), all on the budget of a few drinks at your local hipster coffee joint, are what make this a haven for the economically conscious style savvy. Yes, you will have to sift through the clothing and it may take time, but the reward of finding something so different from what anyone else can even attempt to buy is empowering.  The selection may not necessarily provide the same results as off-the-runway trends, but the overwhelming amount of extraordinarily strange clothing provides variety so large that it is so easy to incorporate and interpret a trend into what you find at the Salvation Army, at least in terms of color, silhouette, and pattern, while constructing it to be a part of your personal style.

The clothes themselves tell a story other than being pumped directly out a machine, which was programmed to create a very calculated piece of clothing that would satisfy the trendy needs of most consumers. Instead, you are left with a piece of clothing that had a life and a story with whoever donated the item.  Someone may have used that blouse to block the sun while travelling in Egypt, used that coat while they watched their daughter’s first soccer game, or done something really unsettling and dangerous in those shoes. As long as the pieces are washed thoroughly, the dirt and smell will leave, and what’s left is a piece that may have lived a life as long as you.

The elephant stomping around is that the Salvation Army is a strong Christian entity and is notoriously against anything related to homosexuality.  The organization claims to not discriminate anyone it serves, although it will not hire anyone that is homosexual.  It provides a resource to families internationally that are constrained to an extremely low price point, and are inflexible in their budget.   The organization also provides food and shelter for those in need. Although the organization has formally apologized on behalf of Maj. Andrew Craibe of the Salvation Army who stated that homosexuals “deserve to die,” the choice to boycott an organization that also provides great resources to the community is a decision that has to be made on an individual level.  Strong social views against sexual discrimination, such as my own, may be reason enough to not buy into what the Salvation Army does. However it is also important to realize that it’s likely that the values of many organizations may not align with our own. Whether it is in terms of religion or environmental policy, outsourcing jobs or sexual orientation, the likelihood that one’s beliefs are completely in line with an organization’s is rare. In the case of this organization, at least there are strong benefits to the other pillars of charity that they do believe in.

Shopping, or “thrifting” as most trend seeking individuals would call it, at the Salvation Army also provides environmental benefits by decreasing the demand for market-driven fashion trends at the mass retail level.   The clothing is reused and therefore serves a relatively environmentally friendly alternative to shopping at retailers who use new energy to create these products.

The decision to remain loyal to Forever, designer pieces, political views, or the Salvation Army is up to you.  However, the resource to truly unique pieces, and the excitement of finding something so uniquely your own, is unparallel.

Confession Time: There are some movies that I am attracted to and utterly in love with simply for their looks. Their art design. Their sets. Their costumes. Their makeup.

Some films serve as aesthetic eye candy and I love them for it.

And, given my historical preferences towards clothes, architecture, and grandiose color schemes, my favorite films are often period films. And honestly, because some films are so beautiful, I require multiple viewings to actually pay attention to the story, since my mind cannot let go of the beautiful images that waltz their way into my life and weave through my consciousness.

Some films on my list below have little to no character development or story, like Sophia Coppola’s Marie Antoinette where the titular character tries on clothes, parties with her friends, and eats trays and trays of delicious food that looks so opulent and so colorful, it looks as done up and fake as the Queen’s set of friends.

Other films on the list are loaded with story (see: The Importance of Being Earnest). The characters’ emotions are so effusive and weighted that they literally bleed into the character’s surroundings (e.g. in another one of my favorites, Tarsem Singh’s The Fall). However, regardless of their plot lines, the movies that comprise this list are perfect if you are ever in the mood to disengage your mental faculties and fully engage your scrumptious senses.

And honestly, when you have sets and costumes as luscious as these, who needs a story?

WARNING: Some of these films look good enough to eat (case in point: Marie Antoinette).

I often make fun of my action-packed, adrenaline-junkie dad, whose taste in film begins and ends with action movies that have no character development, but lots of pyrotechnic development (and destruction). However, upon further reflection, I realized that I have the exact same feelings towards beautiful films.

Top Five Beautiful Films to Satiate Your Visual Senses

1. Life is Beautiful
   The title makes the beauty of this film pretty self-explanatory. I love the set design of this film because it reminds me of a cobble-stoned Italian city street or a pink and green speckled flower stand that is brimming over with life.  Although the end is not the happiest, the characters are fully realized thanks to excellent art design that reverberates the story’s highs and lows through color.
2. The Importance of Being Earnest
   In the true spirit of its creator, Oscar Wilde (one of my greatest aesthetic inspirations) the art design of this film is like a decadent raspberry cheesecake. Washed in tones of orange, red, and pink, this film captures the trivial, yet beautiful pursuits of the Victorian aesthete.  Including lavender dresses with hydrangea hats, and delicious chocolate colored velvet jackets and
3. Marie Antoinette
   The shoes. The hair. The cupcakes. While there is little to no dialogue throughout the film, there is plenty to gaze and wonder at what a life would be like with no darkness, gravity, or contemplation. The film thrives on light, fluffy pastels that adorn everything from the gleaming wooden floors to the gold-inlaid ceiling.
4. Memoirs of a Geisha
   Based on the novel by Arthur Golden, this film oscillates between heavenly white tones, black swirling night scenes, and blood red romance and vengeance scenes that will sweep you away to the Japanese world of the geisha. Brief flickers of soft candle light also add to the film’s mystique and intriguing visuals.
5. The Duchess
   Granted, any film that has Keira Knightley in it is going to be beautiful, but this film is so breathtaking, you will find yourself reaching for the golden chandeliers and decadent English boxwoods that beckon you from the big screen. Knightley’s wigs alone, adorned with feathers, glitter, and cascading ribbons will almost make you topple over in eye-candy ecstasy.

So there you have it! If you’re craving some cinematic eye candy, look no further!  Although do keep your eyes peeled for an ‘Eye Candy Film List: Part 2’.