Capturing Campus: Panic

TW: Mild gore

Panic

It starts with a s u r g e

not like a seizure’s electrical storm

but a thickening of your skull

soupy membranes turned slick and wiry 

veins puffed up and tangled

Entrapped in your mind

the heat pounds heavy and gross

filling your ears with thoughts

taking no form, no substance

unintelligible thoughts of the present and future

And exposure 

a naked vulnerability as eyes find you

where all senses and sense of peace have eroded

and you question whether peace ever was

or was it always anticipation?

of a quiet that won’t last

But you beg for one that lasts

you stupidly, ridiculously beg for one that lasts

for a tranquil touch you swore you used to know

Was it seconds ago or longer

so familiar and so far

with tainted bones 

a brain stained and comprehending

that a dull poison 

will still kill you 

Capturing Campus: Homebody

Homebody

The copper hinges on the backyard door groan when it rains

pipes thundering like a dejected one man drumline

the clothes line snapped last month

just before the sink ran dry

but the wallpaper got wet somehow

and the ceiling weeps every morning

It sags like peeled flesh

with mold like hair growing 

or maybe I’m imagining the fuzz in the fridge

that’s not frigid anymore

and I wonder if that’s why they call fridges fridges

or if chairs always had three legs instead of four

but that can’t be right because the kitchen table has two 

and my bed squeaks because it’s lonely

I’ll grease the hinges next time it rains

Wolverine Stew: Travel Log

There was always going to be a list

First wandering far past downtown to

A bus stop where once I walked westward with

Mud-caked boots and a rain-soaked umbrella

And two friends, all doing our best to flee

The Hash Bash haze awaiting us

And at that point I made a goal

To cover every cardinal direction

And see how far I could wander

East had long been done, a loop

That sent me past the first flowers,

Mannequins, ant colonies, and mourning doves

Of a spring with five false starts

But one always welcome all the same

Travelling together, time spent speculating

About what makes a “good” scary

And in between my trips I stopped

For a moment amidst tabletop memories

Or going through the graveyard, daisies blooming

Or an overlook of Shakespearean summers

Or a last time wandering the Arb for me

And the first for another

Before I made my way north, by bus, by foot

Into that setting sun with turkeys in the trees

Deer in the dark, raccoons by the road

Each a reminder of my final walks

As I took in the same stars

And finally, I decided to

Replace that chance to

Take a southward route

With a carnival, one more roll of dice

And a “see you later” to

Friends I go through the witchlight with

Because I’ll be back to finish my goal

Of four ways to wander

And start a few more trails anew

After all, I remember the paths

And the ones I walked them with

Industrious Illustrating #63 – Looking to Summer

Hello everyone! I ended up not updating for two weeks because of final projects and exams eating up all my energy and time when I wasn’t making new art. But I’m back with one more post before the end of the school year!

Speaking of which, one of my class projects this past semester was illustrating new educational materials for the UMich Natural History Museum. I ended up designing a new step-by-step infographic for using their slides and microscopes. Here’s a sample of what one of my microscope illustrations looked like:

The other artwork I’ve been making recently has mostly been fanwork and commission work since that’s what people pay me to make (and I also enjoy making). I do want to work on more original design work, especially after getting my portfolio reviewed by a mentor and realizing that my design work has a long way to go if I ever want to get work in the double or triple-A video game industries, but I’ll likely have to do that later in the summer after I’m done with my internship. In the meantime, I’ll be selling at several fan conventions this summer — Anime Park this weekend, then Motor City Comic Con (the Spring show) and Colossalcon’s Otaku Craft Fair later this month, and the Otaku Detroit Summer Bash as well as Tekko in mid July!

I’m still not totally certain, but I’m leaning toward not continuing this blog next year. I’ve taken on a lot of responsibilities (especially in the last year) that I have to juggle on top of an increasingly demanding upperclassman schedule. While maintaining this column has been nice for tracking my progress as an artist over the years, sharing it with the wider world, and getting a small amount of compensation for my time, I’ve finally gotten enough traction with getting into conventions and cultivating a dedicated customer base that I’d rather focus more on my art and chronicle my development in less time-consuming ways. But I’ll at least for sure continue to be Digipaint’s event planning admin next year, and I’ll also continue to work on myself as an artist and small business owner. It’s surreal that I’m only a year away from graduating college now, but there’s no way that I could’ve stayed in undergrad forever.

Anyway, I’ll go back to resting and recuperating from all the hard work I’ve done so far this year, and I’ll either see you guys again in the fall or if we ever chat at an in-person event! (Or, a third option, if you figure out what my art social media accounts are and follow my art journey there…) Have a great summer!

Wolverine Stew: Same Stars

This begins with a question

How to thread a handful of years

Through a thousand words

And at first, I went for that

Sunset over Palmer Field

Over the classes where I learned about

Bioluminescence and serpent hoards

And what to do when a screw’s

Let loose through the fan of your laptop

(Which is mostly panic, by the way)

But I couldn’t quite catch the wisps of

Orange giving way to the night

So down I walked past

Two theatres, tonight with no moon,

Halls formed from paper monsters

From which celebration echoes

A courtyard of black-feather leaves

Where first this all began

Where I found a world of

Strange music and a good few

Kind words of encouragement to

Try this all out in the first place

And I kept on going

Stumbling upon the

Pothole pock-marked path

Taken in a parade of maize and blue

Trying to keep the cold at bay

I ended up before the stadium

A family necessity when our weekend came

Where I realized that the screams of a crowd

Are quite contagious

And I smile with the static

Still singing in my ears

But this isn’t quite it

So I wander a little more

And the sky darkens in

The sweet scent of shadowy lilacs

As I turn my attention upward

And there it is

How do I write a goodbye?

How could it hold

Every last thank you for the

Laughter I was let into?

I think of every

Walk with a friend spent trying to

Rot each other’s brains when

They became too full of phantoms

Every evening spent shouting at dice

Made of benevolent stones and troll skulls

With the friendliest chaos one can conjure together

Every post-it note needed to make a

Smile that stood in a window for a semester

And maybe one more that stays a little longer

Every mask I carefully made

As I joined in the revelries of

The one night each year I start to come back

From the ghost I can make of myself

Every strum and song and

Wild of words hustling towards happier trails

Every moment before the lights dimmed

And showed their rising beams of dust

Because each scene was built beforehand

And sung of afterward, the words a flash

Across a screen we all crowded around

Scenes made of plastic trees and hot glue gun thyrsi

Pinprick green constellations and roses, real and parchment

And all the days spent

Going from forests to films

To markets to midnight vaults

To arcades and on across Ann Arbor

Always with those I will be

Grateful to call my friends

All of that

How does goodbye hold all of that?

Well, it doesn’t

So instead, I’ll thread a hopeful “see you later”

Through the thousand words above

And look to the streetlight

That we’ll pretend is a sunrise for now

Because no matter what

For all those memories and people

That a goodbye could never hold

I’m under the same stars as you

Wolverine Stew: Moon Over Michigan

I know it isn’t full yet

Missing that faint yellow glow

That let’s you see the craters and

Haunted wonder at its silent ascent

But this has been eight months

In the making, a note from the first

Evening spent walking out from a

New room where I could watch the stars

And you never know quite when the clouds,

When the cold, will return, so now

I stretch my arms out and let the

Waxing moon shine down on me

Trace the Big Dipper I can find in that

Space the lamps don’t quite reach

Think of those last few scenes of

Dragons, monochrome zombies, and laughter

60s celebrations and musical mockeries of Apollo

At two theatres I remember

Through stored ticket stubs

And see how the marquee and the moon

Mix together tonight