The Books of Hatcher Library

Walk the stacks of Hatcher,

all the history it contains

Up and down the hallways, 

marvel at what remains

 

Centuries worth of books,

all sitting there in dust

Many of them never picked,

thankfully cannot rust

 

Their wordsmiths have come and gone,

the books as ever young

Their words sit upon these musty shelves,

their contents remain unsung

 

We talk and talk and hope one is listening,

to know that we exist

Like us, these books want to be heard,

it is our eyes that they have missed

 

Close your eyes and pick a book,

leave your texts unsent

The books are celebrating your arrival,

they appreciate the time spent

 

Read the book in an open field,

where flowers are so merry

Where the sun shines upon its spine,

where it isn’t a dark library

 

Walk the stacks of Hatcher

 when you have some time to spare

The books yearn to be opened, 

they wish to feel the sweet summer air

The Poetry Snapshot: Power of Words

Billion of words, glistening in a void.

Toronto, Canada 

All these words shine on their own,
but we string them together into
magnificent constellations to share stories.

Some words are powerful suns
that can bring light to a dark life-
or burn a life down to ashes.

Other words shoot out of us in the moment,
they fulfill spontaneous wishes or cause regret.

People never forget words.

At the end of the day, without fail,
words shine brilliantly
and remind people that we will
forever live under them.

 

An Autumn in University

in a flurry,

before anyone notices,

the leaves begin to fall 

crunch under the boots

perfect jumps to get them right under the sole,

for that satisfying crunch

sweaters in the morning that transform

 into tees by mid-day

silent classrooms of students taking exams

papers flipping, pencil scratches being made,

teachers walking down the aisles,

the tension could be cut with a knife

waiting for the time to finish, and also to keep on going,

for that one problem that seems unsolvable

but is on the brink of the mind,

almost teetering on the exit 

perhaps it will drip into the paper

perhaps not, either way

exams are forgotten as soon as they are handed in

can’t even remember a question a friend is asking about

 in the midst of 

going home and 

apple cider and 

donuts and 

hayrides,

nothing matters when you’re happy and the 

feeling of autumn

envelopes you in its embrace.

The Poetry Snapshot: strength is undefinable

Alpental, Washington

I’ve been told to stay strong.
not cry
be the rock
pull it together
and I’ve succeeded.
I’ve successfully built a wall around me,
locked up my emotions, and lost the key.

All this time I thought someone else
would have a spare,
so I’ve been looking for myself in others.
But when has a locked door
stopped a prisoner from escaping.
Perhaps, I need to bring down these walls
with the same strength that built them.
Because there is nothing weak about
vulnerability.

 

This poem was inspired by a recent opportunity that allowed me to let my guard down and share a personal story to the public. After years of thinking that my strength came from internalizing my story, I realized that sharing it and allowing it to be a beacon of hope for others was my real display of strength. Strength is not limited to the constraints set by the media that showcases our lives filtered and perfected, and a culture of always putting on a happy face. Breaking through those constraints and embracing the authenticity of being vulnerable, accepting mistakes, and needing help is also a display of strength.  

The Poem That’s Getting Me Through Midterms

In the heat of midterm season, I’m thinking about Elizabeth Bishop’s poem One Art. As I procrastinate and study and go to events and feel the pulse of life racing madly everyday, I think about how I can’t get yesterday back, or the day before that, or today will pass and so will tomorrow. The passage of time feels like a kind of destruction, a loss, a sacrifice that I must helplessly participate in. And Bishop’s poem encapsulates this anxiety so eloquently and ironically in a poem; she writes:

The art of losing isn’t hard to master;
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster.

Lose something every day. Accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn’t hard to master.

It sneaks up on you, and it seems very profound in the beginning– initially, I thought the poem what about the burdens of materialism, or the issues with attaching yourself to human or tangible things (“door keys”, your “mother’s watch”, “three loved houses”). However, the poem progressively becomes more obsessive, spiraling into a chaotic frenzy of losing everything, of owning and loving and finding meaning in nothing:

Then practice losing farther, losing faster:
places, and names, and where it was you meant
to travel. None of these will bring disaster.

I lost my mother’s watch. And look! my last, or
next-to-last, of three loved houses went.
The art of losing isn’t hard to master.

I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,
some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn’t a disaster.

To me, it becomes something of an existentialist plea for meaning– this author is saying, to some degree, whether she knows it or not, Nothing matters. And everything is fine, because nothing matters. And finally, she drops the huge bomb at us in the end, the absolute sarcastic remark that seems to be hiding a deep inner turmoil:

—Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
I love) I shan’t have lied. It’s evident
the art of losing’s not too hard to master
though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.

But this last paragraph reveals her true feelings. Bishop cares about what happens.

The poet can’t really fully will herself to believe that nothing matters because if she did, she wouldn’t be feeling anything– but she does feel something. It doesn’t matter that she uses a “joking voice, a gesture” she loves, or that she painfully admonishes herself to “(Write it!)”– screw that! She cares about what happens, and even if everything in her life is lost, if everything and everyone that she loves is destroyed, she is silently, quietly counteracting that by creating this poem— something she can control. I cannot help but feel like there is particular double weight to the word “art” here– something that helps her lose and destroy, perhaps, but more importantly, helps her create.

In the midst of academic frenzy and the crazy on-goings of everyday life, I’m sometimes forced to forfeit and run on autopilot– wake up, do the stuff, scrabble to bed to get my seven hours, and repeat. But I care about what happens, I put love and passion into the work that I do, and that’s what matters.

This poem is a shout into the void, as all poems are, but beautiful– a declaration that I was here. I existed. And I matter. And perhaps that’s something we need to remember this time of year.

 

(Read Bishop’s incredible poem here: https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/47536/one-art)

The Comfort of Public Readings

Last Friday, my friend Karen invited me to an open mic night for anyone who wanted to share their writing—poetry, fiction, creative nonfiction, or even songs. Karen’s the editor-in-chief of Xylem, an independent, student-run literary magazine on campus, so some of the staff shared their work, but most of the readers were just people in the audience who decided to share.

Almost every reading I’ve been invited to I’ve gone to, but it’s a weird thing, because I don’t really love them. Okay, to be specific, I don’t love listening to people read. I’m not always the best auditory learner—my mind drifts, and I end up thinking about whatever’s going on in my life, in the same way your mind wanders during a particularly boring lecture. It makes it harder that I’m not super good at understanding poetry; sometimes I can work out the meaning (either the dramatic narrative or the emotional symbolism) if I sit down and concentrate hard and reread the poem a few times, but it’s almost impossible for me to figure it out when it’s being read aloud.

Even if I could carefully pay attention to every single person reading, I’m very bad at telling when poetry is actually good. Every student reading I go to, I hear poems that I sense are pretty good, since there are some decent images and cool words being used, but I have no idea what they actually mean. I know the point of poetry isn’t to figure out what it all ‘means,’ per se, but it still can be frustrating when you feel like you’re not getting much out of a poem aside from the sense that it sounds kind of interesting.

There were some stories and poems I really liked on Friday, when I was able to fully engage. One girl shared a ‘letter to all the guys she kissed,’ which involved a lot of wordplay with numbers. It was pretty hilarious, and well-read, and everyone was laughing with every line she read. One guy sheepishly read a short piece about the couch he owns, with all its mysterious and questionable stains—also very funny.

I thought a lot that night about why I continue to go to events like these when I’m only fitfully entertained and engaged in the reading itself. Well, for one, I go for my friends, like Karen. I want to support them, to hear them read their writing or see what they’ve dedicated their time to outside of class.

But I go mostly for the community. When I sat there in that room—the cozy back room on the second floor of Crazy Wisdom Bookstore and Tearoom—I felt, momentarily, at peace. It came at the end of a long week dealing with the results of Tuesday’s presidential election, and for a moment I wanted to just stop talking and thinking about it all and just sit and be with people who I felt understood me—even if I didn’t actually know most of them. One essay mentioned the election, but most of the pieces were about other things. When you’re dealing with what we all dealt with this week, poems about regular old teenage heartbreak are downright comfort food.

Even when an open mic night doesn’t come in the middle of a politically cataclysmic week, though, it provides comfort. There’s something about looking around and seeing English majors you vaguely know—that girl who talked a little too much in my Shakespeare class, that girl whose writing I was always jealous of in my creative writing class, those five people I recognize from The Michigan Daily. Even the people you don’t recognize can make you feel at home; some of the students sharing their work were STEM majors, and there was something endearing about seeing them timidly prefacing their reading: “I’ve never done this before,” or “I haven’t really looked this over yet,” or “Sorry, I’m kind of nervous.”

I looked out the window while one guy read, noticing the lights of the Ann Arbor News building across the street, the cars flitting by on the street below. I wondered if I’d have a similar, but larger-scale view a year from now, maybe living in New York and going to a reading like this one, with more people I didn’t know but who felt like my people. I wondered if I’d go to any Trump-related protests in Manhattan, if I’d have a group of liberal, revolutionary-type friends like me who wrote poetry and drank tea in cable knit sweaters and clapped and cheered for one another, even when the poems weren’t that good.

Maybe it was too romantic of an idea. Maybe we could all use a little romance right now.

 

Check out Xylem Literary Magazine here. The above photo was taken from Xylem’s Facebook page.