P.S. I Lo…

A love letter is one of the best pieces of paper you’ll ever hold in your hand. It’s more personal than a clothing accessory, more enduring than an edible sweet or a five-second Snapchat, more secret than a wink and a cheery clink. These written declarations of affection have been touching hearts since Ancient Egypt. But times indeed have changed – keyboards have replaced quills, and ‘thee’ got thrown out for ‘u’. The love letter now teeters on the cliff of extinction. If I could, I would make a campaign badge: SAVE THE LOVE LETTER! Help protect this rare species this Valentine’s Day by penning one of your very own to anyone you want to share your words with: whether it’s your best friend, your grandma, your SO, or your neighbor. A letter says that you’ve taken the time to think and write thoughtfully and reflectively on your love for this being that you share the planet and your life with. And who doesn’t love getting mail??

Not sure where to start? Here are some tips to write the most heartfelt and genuine letter without being too cheesy, cliché, or Hallmark-y.

1. Think ink. A real paper letter gives the recipient the sheer pleasure of opening up an envelope. It allows you to be a little cheeky and hide it where they least expect it. Your one-of-a-kind handwriting technique flavors the text in a way that no one else could accomplish. Plus, why risk the chance of an overzealous spellcheck  and spam filters? You want to be sure that the exact letter you write is seen by the person you love.
2. Address to Impress. “Dear” is so overrated. This isn’t an email to your professor (at least I hope not!!). Make your greeting unique and get your reader smiling from the get-go. “Dearest Duck,” said Lady to Lord Byron. “My dear little lunatic,” wrote the actress Juliette Drouet to Victor Hugo. When in doubt, get a little wacky, get a little retro, get a little silly.
3. Flavor it with details. Make sure to flag all the quirky things you like about your reader. Let them know you didn’t copy the default template for “How-To Write a Love Letter.” Think both physically (“the lines on your face that crinkle when you smile”) and mentally (“how you’ve literally memorized the whole Tim the Enchanter scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail”). Let glimpses into your own daily life color your paper: “As I sit here writing to you in the Diag, people must be wondering why I’m smiling so much.” Recollect the first time you met, your favorite shared experience together, ponder about the next thing you want to do together to knock something off your bucket lists.
4. Avoid clichés. That’s right. If you’re being paid to write cards for Hallmark, then by all means, bring on the cheesiness. But, for real? None of this “two souls entwined” crap. Gush too much and the game is over. Find the perfect balance between authentic feeling and hearts-for-eyes emoji.
5. Intertextualize. Perhaps you have really tiny handwriting and you’re worried that you don’t have enough to say to appropriately fill the entire paper (at least two-thirds down the page is adequate). Think of your reader’s favorite movie, song, book, or play. There isn’t one out there that doesn’t include some romantic love. It will show that you really have paid attention to what they love. And gives your brain a moment’s rest, but still packs all the same punch. Alternatively, you can…
6. Include a poem. But not a “how do I love thee? Let me count the ways.” Everyone knows that. Instead try something a little more obscure to add to the uniqueness. Try Frank O’Hara’s ‘Animals’ or Pablo Neruda’s ‘I Do Not Love You‘ or Simon Armitage’s “You’re Beautiful.”

7. PG-13, please! Remember these letters are a kind of artifact. When you pass, you never know who will find them. And you don’t want to win a posthumous Bad Sex (Writing) Award, do you? So let’s keep it clean please, and let E.L. James do all the dirty work.

8. Sincerely… “Believe in me” (Juliette to Victor again) is heartstopping. Henry VIII’s “No more for fear of annoying you” to Anne Boleyn is awkwardly endearing. Dump the dreary “Yours truly” for something a little more creative.

9. Handle with Care. Send love letters only to those you can trust with them. Remember, these words are fragments of your soul. Mark the envelope as “FRAGILAY.” Likewise, treat any letters you’re so lucky to receive with kindness. Keep these paper relics – from past flings and present flames – for yourself and your mental scrapbook. Now that’s so much more than …

P.S.  Interested in reading famous people’s love letters? Check out: http://thoughtcatalog.com/rachel-hodin/2014/01/the-16-most-beautifully-touching-love-letters-from-famous-writers-and-artists/.

Happy Valentine’s Day!