Human interaction requires improvisation…
To: Those Who Have Reached The Coming of Age
Dear Modernity,
The other day I saw the most beautiful couple.
This woman, a trailing bright blue coat and chestnut brown ringlets tight on her scalp, walking hand in hand with her son. The father, plainly dressed and hurrying to cross the street, caught up with them, only to join their connection. Handfuls of hands testing their strength as they lifted their son up and down, and up and down, and up and down, until he broke out of their love with laughter. I thought how wonderful it is to be able to love without thought.
There is a certain trace of grief felt when you realize your wants and needs have changed. And changed so fundamentally that you can never go back. The journey lies in objectivity and progress, but flips your insides out with an ease that you can only call growth. It begs for you to notice.
I want to be happy in the way that the river flows and finds constant peace in its unending motion. In the way that trees turn red, yellow, orange, and bare, just to come back alive in the spring, knowing that they were never really gone at all. In the way that the goose, swimming against the current, knows it will make it home at the end of the night. I want to be enveloped and protected by nature, and return to dust feeling completely whole. Even the rock that weathers against the tide locates itself under my step scrunched.
The question now is: when will it happen?
Whenever it does, I imagine that day to the one day of my life where there is no doubt and no hurt. There is only divine femininity and blue jays singing their songs as the river continues to run and never stop. The baby squirrels will only burrow under the leaves with acorn gifts for their mothers. Huitzilopochtli crystalizing me for the rest of time.
With hope,
V.L.A.
P.S. Adrianne Lenker – Already Lost.
aSoSS 28 | Assumption
You don’t need to be working when you’re not getting paid. Don’t make a habit of it, because when you leave college, people will take advantage of it.
Central Campus Classroom Building, 10:00AM, 8/25/2024
the lighthouse beckons. why do you listen? you’ve seen the scars: salmon slashes, tally marks against a dungeon. you call them bruises of honor, a spirit lived in pitcher and storm, throat muddy from screaming in the rain. bow, says the wind, and you do, with your knees in the sand and your face in the bowl of your hands. prayer or punishment? stop trying. the lighthouse blinks once, twice, and then winks out.
Summer reading for engineers? Summer reading??
Mosher-Jordan Dining Hall, 10:30AM, 8/27/2024
the seasons flit past–flecks of paint, a crumbling castle, an anchor in an empty sea. i drag my feet against the asphalt; i find solace all the insufficient ways in the way only a prisoner can. time dilates from within, a scrap the size of a single breath. a flattened lung, once composed of its consumptions, carving out my chest from the inside. i watch, delirious, as my name is etched into a headstone. they will throw my body out into the desert, a skull to be labeled an ancient and nameless king.
Is he really that short? I mean, he’s short but not short short. I guess five four.
Cancer Center Inbound, 3:00PM, 10/17/2024
we must be accepting of the things we cannot control. like two leaves skating the upward draft, we drive each other dizzy with our tongues (straight and sharp as quartz, a lesson in diffraction–light and feeling, are they really separate?) is it man versus man or me versus you? there’s a difference, even if you don’t admit it. i stare at the mirror, at the figure that plays with my hair and presses falsities into my mouth and avoids my eyes, and i know that no amount of time will turn it into a friend.
Witness the Small Life – Blue (Da Ba Dee) ’98
Blue! A color we know all so well. From skies to clues to moons, it’s everywhere around us. Did I deliberately make this entry blue or did I just decide on the spot and based the entire post around it? The world will never know…
I wanted to try out a new style for the graphic and I had a lot of fun messing around in Photoshop and finding random scans I took of items in my backpack. I also decided to bring back out the reason why I started digital art at my peak artistic era (middle school fan art), aka my first Wacom drawing tablet. Although the cord has wires sticking out of hack-jobbed tape (desperately needs to be replace) and I have no clue what bindings I have on the buttons, I had a really fun time relearning and using this first baby of mine. When I was a kid I got so very into My Little Pony speedpaints that I started to make my own with MS Paint, my laptop’s trackpad, and a dream. Eventually I got frustrated with the limitations of the curve tool and the tedious nature of the fidgety trackpad so one Christmas I asked for a simple Wacom tablet. When I got it, I immediately jumped on my grandparents’ old Dell computer and downloaded the first free and reputable drawing program I could find (shout out FireAlpaca). From there, I entered the world of digital art and its expansive realm headfirst and I got completely lost in the endless experimentation. I grew from my fan artistic roots and started creating my own worlds and my own characters, drenched in ultra saturated colors and terrible proportions. Digital art is what really launched my love of storytelling in my artwork and what pushed my idea of what art could be. During the pandemic, due to so much technology fatigue, I started to revert back to the traditional mediums I knew or wanted to become better at so then my Wacom got put on the shelf and forgotten. Over the years I got new tablets or laptops that replaced the use of my Wacom and I generally gravitated away from digital art as a whole. In the past year, for both this blog and for personal pieces, I’ve picked back up the practice of digital work but wanting to find a way to combine my deep love for physical media and mediums. Through bringing back my Wacom and exploring the use of digital collage of my real life objects I feel like I’ve been able to explore the ways in which I can try to find this balance I’m longing for. It’s also been encouraging to feel like I’m able to connect with my digital-passionate younger self again and feel the same kind of giddiness she felt when she got to use this tablet for the first time. I feel like we think of progress as a shedding of the past for a blank slate of a future. I think in some cases this is the truth, but I’ve come to recognize how so much of my own personal growth and artistic progress is rooted in building upon the work I made and person I was and recognizing the ways in which I still carry those things into my future. It’s exciting to me when I get to bring pieces of my past into my present actions, and my Wacom tablet has been a most recent example of this. I’d like to see the ways in which I can continue to experiment and explore these old and nostalgic pieces of my artistic life in my growing future, especially within my work as an art student.
To take into our next week:
Ins: Fluffy socks, ink stamp pads, linear burn blending mode, RPG maker games, blue jeans, obnoxious scarves, clothes hangers.
Outs: Dry skin and not doing anything about it, pretending you don’t know people you’re acquaintances with even though you both know you know each other, the word “belch”, sleeping an extra 10 minutes, unpainted nails.
Enjoy the sun while we still can and I hope you all can find the pieces of your childhood in your present and how they shift colors and take new shapes!
More Simon Concepts
This was from when I was testing out fashion, and concepts for a short-haired simon. I like the robe and sleeveless top, but I decided it’s too impractical (both to wear and draw) and a departure from his usual silhouette.
A Side of Sketching – Signs of Fall
Hello! The past few weeks have been full of traveling for me, so this spread was drawn in the car. It’s a synthesis of some of the most notable changes and symbols that I associate with the month of October: falling leaves, warmer clothes, pumpkin spice lattes (although I’ve never actually had one .ᴖ.), wool hats, digital cameras/retro technology, and pumpkin carving! Dressing in layers and wearing puffy coats is one of my favorite parts of this time of year, and I’m really enjoying meandering through campus as the leaves change and fall.
