aSoSS 30 | Gossip

Joanne, how do you pronounce your last name?

(-)

[a moment later] Hey, stop talking about me!

Morris Lawrence Building, 2:30PM, 9/7/2024

under the norway pine there are faint notches in the bark, one tally for each secret you have spilled. its twin used to bear the weight of teenage angst, hearts carved so deeply they scarred the cambium. it burned down one night, struck by lightning in front of your house. confidence or coincidence? we were young and nameless; admit it, there is no more value in saving face. buttercup blues–scale a tree, snap a branch, so you can’t leave.


How many followers do you have?

One.

See, then the ratio of one to eight hundred following is crazy! Who’s the one anyway?

A random.

Mosher-Jordan Dining Hall, 11:30AM, 9/6/2024

we sentence dynasties of mice to their deaths, eyes strapped to a display, a paralysis of creature and conscience. outside, i am drowning in distractions. i see your mouth and i smell your voice, just out of reach, a parasite in the brain. i turn to the screen and immediately the sensation fades. my screams are reflected in a pleasant digital echo, but it does not matter anymore. above, an observer makes a note– turns to the supervisor–makes a face that betrays a flash of fear. the wheel keeps turning, though none remember why.


Separate my work from my life, I’m glad that I was the one to answer the phone before my story goes public…

Barnes & Noble, 10:00AM, 11/1/2024

there is a collage of shoe prints at the front door. how long has it been since i visited you? there are boots and canes and infant shoes strewn across the hallway. we embrace like lovers; we discuss the weather like strangers. the heat, am i right? we are two ostriches with our heads buried. quicksand logic: time moves slowly if we reminisce, as if memory moves counterclockwise and we can escape to the treehouse and the campfires and the blanket tents. your ingenuity reflects my innocence. the baby coos and you whisper lullabies in a foreign language–i realize it is foreign to no one but me.

Capturing Campus: Nosebleed

Content warning: mentions of blood, profanity

Nosebleed

I see red

smell pennies

am I bleeding out 

my nose

or just my eyes 

adjustments are needed

contact lenses or otherwise

I’m woozy

walking somewhere

my legs will carry me there

there is where i will go

I don’t know where  

the world’s blurry

behind fluid-tinted glasses

how funny it is 

that my body can’t contain itself

in lungs or lifeblood

the capacity to

spill over the side

and to want to

pluck reds from strawberry bushes

bell peppers come from bushes too

but you don’t see people picking them

because who’d eat a bell pepper

when life’s dripping

and you’re bleeding all over the fucking carpet

Capturing Campus: Recipe from Hell

Recipe from Hell

INGREDIENTS

1 garlic clove

5 sesame seeds

4 snake eggs

2 tbsp sage

1 fingerbone

DIRECTIONS

Mash the clove 

Grind the sesame seeds

Crack the snake eggs

Whisk until incorporated

Crush the fingerbone finely

Sprinkle bone dust and sage into the mixture

Whisk vigorously until the souls of your enemies cry out

(from beneath the floorboards)

Bake until golden brown, or until the angels weep at your feet

Leave to cool in the center of your pentagram

Allow the hellfire erupting from the ground to crisp the edges

Dig in!

aSoSS 28 | Assumption

You don’t need to be working when you’re not getting paid. Don’t make a habit of it, because when you leave college, people will take advantage of it.

Central Campus Classroom Building, 10:00AM, 8/25/2024

the lighthouse beckons. why do you listen? you’ve seen the scars: salmon slashes, tally marks against a dungeon. you call them bruises of honor, a spirit lived in pitcher and storm, throat muddy from screaming in the rain. bow, says the wind, and you do, with your knees in the sand and your face in the bowl of your hands. prayer or punishment? stop trying. the lighthouse blinks once, twice, and then winks out.


Summer reading for engineers? Summer reading??

Mosher-Jordan Dining Hall, 10:30AM, 8/27/2024

the seasons flit past–flecks of paint, a crumbling castle, an anchor in an empty sea. i drag my feet against the asphalt; i find solace all the insufficient ways in the way only a prisoner can. time dilates from within, a scrap the size of a single breath. a flattened lung, once composed of its consumptions, carving out my chest from the inside. i watch, delirious, as my name is etched into a headstone. they will throw my body out into the desert, a skull to be labeled an ancient and nameless king.


Is he really that short? I mean, he’s short but not short short. I guess five four.

Cancer Center Inbound, 3:00PM, 10/17/2024

we must be accepting of the things we cannot control. like two leaves skating the upward draft, we drive each other dizzy with our tongues (straight and sharp as quartz, a lesson in diffraction–light and feeling, are they really separate?) is it man versus man or me versus you? there’s a difference, even if you don’t admit it. i stare at the mirror, at the figure that plays with my hair and presses falsities into my mouth and avoids my eyes, and i know that no amount of time will turn it into a friend.

From nothing

Joy is, in itself, a worthy cause

But even it needs to be created

We are told that our feelings are somehow superfluous

Not real

Yet they can be altered

Changed

By outside forces

You tell me that this strange spirit on the stage isn’t real

Yet I see

The body move, gesture

Breathe

And is something in me not changed in seeing it?

Bodies moving

With each other, and not

Gesture

Breath

Voice

Move into the light

And that’s already a change.

Move downstage

Change

Ensemble in formation

Grasp onto another

Change

Lament

The gaze moves

Change

Meet an audience member’s eyes

And they are changed

A tear

Change

A laugh

A moment to the next

Draw breath

Maybe the soul on the page has never lived

Or maybe they’ve lived and then moved on

But now they breathe again

Exhale

Once I was you

Someday you will be me.

Are you angry yet?

Sad?

Joyful?

Relieved?

Have you yet been changed?

You will be.

Step into the light

Draw breath

Fill the body

Wake up the spirits

Don’t tell me magick isn’t real

This space is charged with light

Buzzing

Every body overfilled with life

And you are a story made flesh

Move, speak your spells right now

There are even witnesses

Invite them in

Mistakes are easily forgiven

Only one thing really matters:

Conjure.

Capturing Campus: Sleep Paralysis

Sleep Paralysis

Waking became worse than dreaming

of guilt and endless rooms

familiar and upside down

bottomless pits on the ceiling

falling upwards 

to breathe but not move

words like mercury in the throat

dispel panic through fluttering eyelids

know there is no sense in fighting

a prison of the mind

as limbs stiffen hard

at the sight

perched on the bed

with angel wings

borne of kerosene 

headlights for teeth

gnashing at the stillness

beneath tight sheets

A cherry pit soul

screams freedom