Evolving Emotions: A Churning Prison

Naked in a world foreign to my body

Tears well up

A refusal

A protest

Amidst the overwhelming reality before me

 

I tremble

Unable to breathe

Afraid to utter a sound

Suppressing all movement

 

For fear that the world will hear me

See me

Acknowledge me

And take me with it

 

In its churning jowls

Pressured production

Cyclical aging

And infinite pain

 

My heart pleads and bargains

Against what quickly approaches

 

I am growing older

By the passing hour

Minute

Second

 

Forced into the assembly line

With a ball and chain at my feet

 

I am scared

Of what mechanical existence lay ahead.

 

Without close

I want you to say something

Say something

Say something 

That’s going to make it all better

I want you to write again

Text me again and tell me

Something 

Something that’s going to make it all better

I want you to say something

Say something that’s going to fix something that

I don’t know how to 

I tell you I want to talk

You tell me I’m not talking 

You’re talking and I don’t know what to say

Evolving Emotions: You

Everything reminds me of you.

 

The faces whirl by in a sea of familiarity

I think I recognize your smile,

your walk,

your presence

I don’t.

 

A laugh echoes down the strange hallway

It settles into my ears swiftly and soundly

But it’s not you.

 

Tears flood my eyes in your absence.

The comfort that held me is no longer.

Is home really home anymore?

Is life what it was before?

No,

But I miss you.

 

I miss you and your

Charming intricacies

Audacious interests

Burning desires

The words you gifted others

The humility woven in your soul

 

Nobody can compare

And content will come

But for now

Everything reminds me of you.

 

This is the first poem I wrote when I arrived at this university. Walking by new people was like getting shot. There were a lot of tears. Everything was so new and so familiar all at once. It did get better in time, though.

The Poetry Snapshot: Metamorphosis of Time

Before children start sleeping with memories
to look back on,
A nostalgic vault,
meant for safekeeping,
but never with its lock on,
they can only imagine of what could be.
Dreaming of a future where they would see
the grace of age swept away by the river.

Newport Beach, CA

Tides of childhood crash on shore,
As early bonds forge and turn folklore
into missions to explore;
with every mention of maturity,
youthful optimism is deplored
to have crayoned ideas be more respected,
and backyard ponds take us around the world.

We try to grow up,
in hopes that age will let us go.
Stop gripping us to our seat.
Locking us at home.

When will you realize age is your protector?
A collector of laughter,
advocator of reckless spur.
A metamorphosis of time,
keeping your life from accelerating,
until you cannot make anything of the blur.

When that time comes, oh what a wonderous transformation!
Vibrant and thunderous, with no hesitation.
A breakthrough and bestowment,
from hurrying to grow up to savoring every moment.

Evolving Emotions: Squirrel Staring Contest

A bushy tail

Flourishing in the bitter wind

Curiously Driven

Hopelessly Eager

 

Frantic paws

Working through

The solid Earth

Toward a humble prize

 

A heart beating rapidly

Blood flooding the body

Lungs accelerating

In the face of something new

 

A charming face

Greets the beady eyes

The new creature crouches

Waiting

 

A stare interlocks them

Each afraid to move

 

Crunch

The leaves sound

The being shifts

 

Away rushes the animal

Up a tree

To refuge

To a world unknown

 

To the person

Crouching among the leaves

Striking disappointment

Slapped across their face

 

The Poetry Snapshot: Winter Nights Together

He moves slowly,
clinging onto warmth like armor for war.
His long primate tail lined with frost, heart exhausted,
Away and alone, lost from his home.
Unaware of his fate, paths soon to be crossed,
nature has a wickedly sweet course to bring us together.

Winter Nights, National Geographic

Dark starless nights with snow fall,
as innocent as a feather,
causes his toes to curl up.

Blistering all life until pushed beyond our strife.
Sacred, the breaths that exist amidst theses storms.

He follows an innate connection,
perhaps a beautiful view of natural selection.
A feeling, a calling,
a mutual collection of responding to each other.
There is an art to winter communities,
Building life-sustaining unity
Listening to each opportunity to survive
Together.

He does not need to understand this necessary kinship,
Or agree to hold each other in the storm for good stewardship,
But when the time comes, they will reach for each other.
Always.
Intertwined to create a shield of resilience,
unconditional love kindled by nature’s brilliance.

“The only way to survive these harsh winter nights is by sticking together.”