Some people write poems about becoming a mother
I write about losing mine
Who will tell me to tuck or untuck my shirt
Zippers or laces for shoes
We’re all masquerading as ourselves
Expertly crafting moments and memories
How do people find joy in life
Revel in its impermanence
How do people find joy in life
Seek strength in its disturbance
If I rest my head on your shoulder
I wonder if I can hear your heart tremor
To the beat of my nerves
I wonder if you tread carefully with your words
Pick and choose phrases that will make me listen
Riesling over liquor
I wonder if you have lost thoughts
Tremble at their release and take them elsewhere
Whisper without me
I wonder if you hide your truth
Mask feelings in sweet nothings
Hide dark in the night
Its tip reflected in the sun
And twinkled among shadows
You tantalized me by waving it slowly
Curves painting pictures
When you asked me what I saw
There
Were clouds
Big ones that surrounded you
That made the setting of the sun bleed
Enough to paint the pages of our story
Why can’t you see?
Is it because I read when you look?
Search soulless for meaning in every breath
while you take in deep
Restless while you sleep
Will you recoil when I do unto you what you do to me
Tremble when I choose not to speak?
There’s joy and anguish here
Relish and pleasure here
Is that all?
I held you tightly so you covered my eyes
Blindside me from the sight of your voice
Lips moving softly as I tremble at their sound
I wanted you
Wrapped your head in my arms held it to my stomach
Cried while watching you smile-
We are posed
Here standing in levels
But I am still underneath you
Pulsing to the breath of your touch
Loudly to the sound of your name
Is naming me small diminishing my power
Am I wrong to be flattered
You’ve done nothing
I don’t think
You don’t deserve scrutiny or skepticism but
I’m searching for someone in me to tell me if myself is with you
If when we speak we are on the same page
If the lines of possibilities that scroll through my head
Match anything that lies in yours
